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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Persevering

I recently discovered a new podcast called “Project Perseverance.” The host, Molly Ovenden, started it because she had lots of partially read books on her shelves and she wanted to practice perseverance and read a book from beginning to end and then share what she learned from it. Over time, she has become a writing coach for people who want to persevere and get their writing projects out into the world.

It’s been inspiring for me to listen to the episodes, especially the ones where she’s coaching someone through a specific aspect of their writing.

I’ve been listening, but I’ve also been trying to put what I’m hearing into practice as I finish my own book. (It’s so close!) I can’t procrastinate and run just because I’m nervous about some tricky aspects of formatting my book. I want to keep at it and figure those things out so I can get this project done and out into the hands of readers who need it.

If you’re new around here, let me explain. I went through a major depressive episode in 2014. It sent me to the hospital because I lost all hope. Since then I’ve been proactive about maintaining my mental health. I’ve written a book about my experience and how we can all stay healthy emotionally. I’m planning to publish it on Amazon when I finally finish.

If you aren’t new around here, I’m sure you’re tired of hearing about this book. Well, I hope you’ll indulge me as I keep talking about it. It’s been frustrating (for you and me!) to hear about the possibility of a resource like this but never see it get done. Once it is published, I’m going to keep talking about it, praying that it gets to the people who need it. I hope you’ll talk about it, too, and share it with people in your life with a mental health diagnosis. (Check back for more details once the book gets launched.)

Whatever you’re trying to accomplish, I hope you’ll decide to keep persevering. If you keep moving forward (even if you take tiny steps from time to time), eventually you’ll see the result of your hard work.

If you run from the labor because of fear and uncertainty, that project will never reach completion.

Let’s keep persevering and see what wonderful things we can do with the time and talents God has given us.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

Are you persevering or are you giving up too soon? How can focusing on God help you keep going and accomplish the tasks ahead of you?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on What Really Matters

We’re almost two weeks into a new year and I’m realizing that my focus is all messed up. (Having a blog with mostly “Focus Friday” posts, you’d think I’d have this figured out by now, wouldn’t you?) Keep in mind that I’m not trying to shame myself (or you!) as I explore this topic. We just all need a reminder to get back on track once in a while.

My heart was stirred about this several times in the last couple of weeks, but I haven’t taken the time to write about it, or even think more deeply about it, until now.

The first time it happened was in church last Sunday. Gary preached a sermon from Matthew 6. “What Do You Treasure Most?” was the title. (You can watch it by clicking here.) As he spoke, I felt myself pondering the things I treasure. Of course I love the Lord, but lately my focus seems to be on too many earthly treasures.

Then in Sunday school we watched a video featuring J.D. Greear, talking about Romans 2. He said so many good things, but what bothered me was the idea that we can do all the “right” things, but if our hearts are far from God, it all means nothing. I wondered if my heart was really in the right place. From the outside, it probably looks like it, but I know the struggles I have with loving certain people or having the right attitude when I’m doing those “right” things.

And then I went through this week. On Sunday, I said I was going to be working on formatting my depression book, getting it ready to publish on Amazon KDP pretty soon. It’s now Friday evening, and I haven’t started yet. Why? Because I’m scared. Of what? Of the unknown.

I’ve never done something like this before, so it’s scary. I think I can figure it out, but taking that first step has felt impossible all week. So, I’ve found all sorts of ways to avoid it.

I went swimming most mornings. That was good for my physical and mental health, but I could have shortened my workouts a bit so I could get to the formatting.

I still had the afternoons free, right? Well, I managed to fill those, too. I did some good things, but I also did a fair amount of pointless stuff like watching YouTube videos and playing a blocks game on my phone (I’ve uninstalled it once again!).

By the time it got to the evenings, I felt like it was too late to start, plus I had youth group on Wednesday night.

So, what really matters? And what do I do when I realize I’m not focusing on what really matters?

What really matters is loving God and loving others. When I’m reminded that my focus is more on me (especially on my fears and insecurities), then I need to take steps to find the right balance once again.

Spending some time reading my Bible and praying each morning (and throughout the day) is a great place to start. Too often I skip that so I can exercise or do some other task around the house. Bible reading and prayer get my focus back on loving God.

Something else I can do is ask the Holy Spirit to help me balance my time between my own interests and things I can do to help others (and quite often those are the same thing). Writing blog posts, recording podcast episodes, and finishing my depression book are all things I enjoy doing (when I finally push past the fear and do them). I pray that they can also support and encourage others who might struggle with depression and anxiety. That gets my focus back on loving others.

Our hearts are fickle. Left to their own devices, they’ll try to convince us that we’ll never be happy unless we do whatever we want to do, whenever we want to do it. That’s a lie. True happiness and peace comes from focusing on what really matters. Every day.

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30–31 NIV)

Do you ever struggle and pay more attention to worldly pursuits instead of what really matters? How can focusing on God help you love God and love others well?

P. S. – I really am planning to finish my depression book in the next couple of weeks. It tells a little of my story, but it also has ideas for how we can all stay healthy emotionally when we have a mental health diagnosis. Let me know if you’d like to read a pdf of the book when I get it done. I just ask that you leave a short review on Amazon after it releases. Just send me a message at robyn@robynmulder.com.

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Warnings

Last week I headed for home after my swim workout at South Dakota State University. After I turned onto highway 14, I was surprised to see flashing red and blue lights in my rearview mirror.

I checked the speedometer and I wasn’t going over 55, so I was thoroughly confused, but I pulled over and waited for the officer to come to my window.

“Ma’am, Stadium Road is only 25 miles per hour,” he stated. In a flash, I understood. This was campus police for SDSU and I had been pushing it a bit on the road leaving campus. I hadn’t done it intentionally, but I was speeding.

He asked for my license, registration, and proof of insurance. I handed them over and waited while he went back to his vehicle to see if I checked out. When he returned, he handed me my papers and told me he was just going to give me a verbal warning this time.

Whew! No ticket. I was so relieved. I thanked him and promised to watch my speed in the future.

And I have. I’ve even set my cruise for 25 mph when I go down that road because I don’t want to accidentally go faster and get stopped again. I know that next time I probably won’t be so lucky.

Warnings are good. They alert us to what we’ve done wrong and they give us a second chance before we suffer the painful consequences of our actions.

It would be irresponsible for me to speed down campus roads just because I didn’t get a ticket on one occasion. The limits are there for a reason and I need to obey them, even if it feels like I’m moving at a snail’s pace.

We all need to heed the warnings we receive from various sources in our lives. Maybe our boss warns us that we need to improve some aspect of our job performance so we don’t get fired. Maybe our spouse warns us that they’re getting tired of some aspect of our behavior and they want to see changes. Maybe our friend warns us that they’re tired of us showing up late all the time and they aren’t going to invite us anymore if we don’t improve.

If we don’t heed people’s warnings, we may have to suffer the consequences.

As Christians, we have a book that is full of warnings. The Bible tells us how we need to act if we’re going to show our love for God and others. If we ignore those warnings, we may have to suffer physical or emotional consequences. Thankfully, there is forgiveness and grace when we fail, but paying attention to the Bible’s warnings can help us enjoy happier lives as we interact well with the people in our lives and the God who loves us.

Let’s pay attention to the warnings we receive and make a conscious decision to slow down and do what’s right.

If we do, we won’t have to be afraid to look in the rearview mirror. We can move freely through life, confident that we’ll get where we’re going without any trouble.

“A wise warning to someone who will listen is as valuable as gold earrings or fine gold jewelry.” (Proverbs 25:12 New Century Version)

Have you ever gotten a warning for something? How did it make you feel? How can focusing on God help you heed warnings (from people or the Bible) and live well?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on How Far We’ve Come

It can be hard to be content with where we’re at in life when dealing with a mental health diagnosis. Anxiety and depression tend to make us feel despair when we can’t do something as well as we’d like.

I noticed that happening lately.

For exercise, I swim at SDSU several times a week. Besides wanting to move my body and stay in shape, I also want to get faster. I’ve competed in a couple of Masters swim meets, and my times have gone down, but they are far from the record holders in my age group. Those times are about twice as fast as I can swim. That’s discouraging.

So, should I quit swimming? Should I stop competing at the swim meets? No. I need to keep going and concentrate on how much I’ve improved since I started swimming regularly in January 2022. When I first started, I couldn’t swim more than about four lengths of the pool before I had to stop and rest. Now I can sometimes swim twenty lengths without stopping. I couldn’t swim the butterfly stroke at first, but now I’ve been adding it to my workouts and I can do it. It still needs work, but my core is stronger and I can feel my butterfly getting better.

Instead of focusing on how far I have to go, it’s more encouraging to look how far I’ve come. With more time and practice, I’ll get closer to my goals. I may never set a record in swimming, but I can enjoy the progress I make as I work hard and improve.

I can also see improvements in my confidence levels. At times I get frustrated because I get scared and hold back instead of stating my opinion or offering my advice. I’d like to exude confidence and charisma, but my uncertainty wins out way too often. I can focus on that, or I can look back and see how far I’ve come in this area.

I can remember going to a prayer group at my church when I was in high school. I never dared to pray out loud, but I attended faithfully. Later, after Gary and I got married, I went to a weekly women’s Bible study and I would berate myself when I got home because I hadn’t said a single word. I don’t know what those women thought of me, but I was soaking up knowledge from the study and from the things I heard other women share.

Over the years, I’ve gradually gained more confidence. Now I can lead Bible studies, give talks at Mother’s Day programs and other events, and I can talk to people much more easily than when I was in high school and college. I may never give a TED talk, but look how far I’ve come!

If you’re disappointed because you haven’t reached some target in life, try to slow down and focus on little improvements you’ve made over the years. You can make some plans for how you can possibly reach your goal, but show yourself lots of grace while you work hard and move forward. Don’t be dismayed at how far you have to go. Look how far you’ve come!

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” (Proverbs 16:9 NIV)

Do you look forward and feel despair about how far you have to go before you reach a certain goal? How can focusing on God help you move forward in faith, being grateful for how far you’ve come?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Bruises

While on vacation recently, Gary and I went hiking in the Great Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. After hoofing it over six miles to Le Conte Lodge, we headed back down the same trail.

The girls taking our picture thought it was so cute that Gary helped me over the rocks by Rainbow Falls.

At one point, there was a big rock with some moss and a bit of water on it. As I placed my foot, I had the fleeting thought that maybe I should step down further to the right instead of directly on the rock. Just like that, my boot slid out from under me and I landed—hard—on my left hip and shoulder. Gary saw me fall, so he hurried back to make sure I was okay. “I don’t think I broke anything,” I moaned as I pulled myself up and sat for a minute. We continued down the trail. I was sore, but I could still hike.

Amazingly, I didn’t fall down this set of steps!

I figured I would have a bruise after hitting that hard, but we were amazed to see just how big it was the next day. A 6-by-8-inch purple rectangle graced my left thigh. It was still shockingly huge when we got home to South Dakota. I decided to go do my swim workouts, even though people would be able to see it.

“Whoa! What happened to you?” several people commented. I was able to tell them about our long hike in the mountains. I was kind of embarrassed that I had fallen, but I also felt pretty proud of my bruise. As I swam a couple more times this week, I came to think of it as a badge of honor. I had taken a fall, but I got up and kept hiking, and I had the bruise to prove it.

Taken two days after the fall. It got even prettier after this!

When you live with a mental health diagnosis, you sometimes end up with emotional bruises and scars. Sure, people usually can’t see them, but we know they’re there. The tender spots in our lives can be a badge of honor for us—proof that we’ve lived through something difficult and we’re still here.

When we see someone else struggling emotionally, let’s be quick to tell them about our bruises and scars. It may inspire them to keep going as they continue their own journey to better mental health.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

Have you ever had a bruise or scar you were kind of proud of? How can focusing on God help you be willing to share your emotional bruises and scars with someone who needs encouragement or inspiration?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Decluttering

I’ve been on a decluttering mission the last couple of weeks. I emptied one of my bookshelves so I could move it across the room, and then I ruthlessly weeded out a good chunk of my collection. I love books, but I don’t have enough time to reread most of them. It’s time to pass them on to someone else.

I keep looking around our home and thinking about what can go. I’m making a big pile. We’ll see if a garage sale is in our future or if I’ll make several trips to a donation center.

When I used to look at my overstuffed bookshelf, it would make me feel stressed. I knew there were quite a few books I hadn’t read yet (I moved those to a smaller bookshelf and I’m making plans to read them in the months ahead and then pass them on). Now my bookshelf isn’t even full, and I can see the titles of books I love and want to keep (at least for now). I feel a sense of peace.

Clutter in our minds isn’t good for our mental health. It’s stressful to hold on to negative thoughts. Maybe it’s time to declutter so we can focus on more helpful, positive ideas. Write down what you’re thinking and decide what has to go. You may need a counselor to help you learn skills for doing that, but it’s worth it.

I started going back to my counselor in Sioux Falls in July to work on a few things that were bothering me. This week we talked about my tendency to seek knowledge from lots of different sources. I read books and listen to podcasts, getting lots of interesting, helpful info. The trouble is, I let all of that good stuff clutter up my mind and I often don’t take action. For me, it can be a form of avoidance.

So my counselor suggested that I go for one week without listening to podcasts. We both had to laugh as my anxiety about that was clearly visible. She could see it all over my face, and I noticed that my right hand started scratching vigorously on my left arm. She had hit a nerve. “But what would I do instead when I’m out for a walk or something?” I asked. “You could listen to music…or just be,” she said.

Just be. What a concept. I don’t do that very well. My mind is constantly analyzing and excusing and chastising and celebrating and planning and wondering.

I think this week without podcasts is going to be good for my mental clutter if I allow the extra time and space to be something healing for me. Instead of filling my brain with more thoughts and ideas from others, I can sort through what I already know and believe. Then I can make sure I’m putting it into practice as I live this beautiful life God’s given me.

I won’t give up podcasts completely after the week is over, but I might be more deliberate about balancing my time, making sure I don’t just listen to tons of episodes and let it all become clutter again.

It all comes down to catching our thoughts, doesn’t it? Learning to focus on things that are excellent and praiseworthy (and true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable as it says in Philippians 4:8). We can get rid of any thoughts that don’t fit in those categories.

You can check out my free, private Facebook group: Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder (and my podcast with the same name) if you want some support and encouragement in your mental decluttering process.* You’ll feel more peace when your mind is clear.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19–21 NIV)

Does clutter bother you? Which is easier for you to see…the clutter in your home or the clutter in your mind? How can focusing on God help you get rid of both types?

*If you want help with decluttering your home, I recommend watching YouTube videos by The Minimal Mom and The Life Tidy. (I’m sure there are lots of other great resources out there, but these are two that have inspired me as I’ve started decluttering.)

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on When We Can’t Make It up the Mountain

Gary and I recently attended Rocky Mountain High—a youth event out in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. For my premium rec activity, I attempted to hike Hallett Peak. The summit is 12,720 feet. I had climbed it a couple of times before, but I wasn’t sure if I could make it this time. I was nervous because I knew I wasn’t in tip-top shape, but I really wanted to experience that mountaintop view once again.

The first couple of miles went okay, but I began to struggle. It felt like I was going in slow motion and I started to feel sick. The last people in our group caught up to me and I expressed my desire to make it to the top. “No problem,” they said. “If you keep up this pace, you’ll make it!” I fell in behind them and kept up for several steps, but then I watched them quickly widen the gap between us. I kept plugging away, but when I got to the snow I decided to turn around. I didn’t have the time or energy to make it.

So, I sat on a rock and ate my lunch, gazing longingly at the summit. I could see lots of people from our group moving around up there. It was so tempting to try to push on and make it, but I just had someone take my picture before I headed back down the trail.

My long walk gave me lots of time to think about how I was going to handle this “failure.” Was I going to cry all the way down? Was I going to beat myself up for even attempting it?

I didn’t do either of those things. Sure, I was disappointed that I hadn’t made it to the top, but I tried to be proud of how far I went. With a little more time, I’m sure I would have made it. I got to see some beautiful scenery. I did the best I could, and that was good.

I can’t help but compare my hike to how we can handle our mental health journeys. We might have a goal in mind. Under the right circumstances, we can achieve it. Sometimes we need to be happy with something that falls short of our goal. As long as we’re doing our best, we can feel proud of ourselves and everything we accomplish.

After my hike, I talked to my husband. We figured out that I still had lots of water in my backpack. I hadn’t been drinking nearly enough on my hike, which may have contributed to my slow pace and feeling sick. He wished he could have hiked with me and reminded me to drink more.

We need friends and family to walk along with us when it comes to our mental health, too. They can support us and remind us to take care of ourselves. The journey can be amazing, even if you don’t make it to the top of the mountain.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5–6 NIV)

Are you enjoying your journey through life, or are you frustrated because you haven’t reached the “summit” yet? How can focusing on God help you try your best and be content with how far you’ve come?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Transformation

Do you ever feel like you need a change?

Lately I’ve been more aware of the negative way I see my body and how I feel when I look at myself in the mirror.

I’ve been listening to podcasts like Compared to Who? (Heather Creekmore) and Intuitive Eating for Christian Women (Erin Todd and Char-Lee Cassel), so I know the answer isn’t going on a diet or trying to exercise my way to a smaller body.

I know God loves me just they way I am and I need to learn to love myself. I also am aware that I often run to the kitchen for a snack when I feel a range of emotions. It’s especially bad when I feel boredom, frustration, or sadness. Eating when I’m not hungry isn’t good for me, so I’ve been trying to figure out how to get out of those bad habits and be more balanced in how I feed my body.

I heard Michelle Rayburn interview Jennifer Smith Lane on her Life, Repurposed podcast in May and I decided to order two copies of Jennifer’s book Transformed: Eating and Body Image Renewal God’s Way. I just started going through it with a friend and I’m already feeling differently about myself after doing part of the first lesson.

The sentence that keeps coming to mind whenever I’m tempted to think negatively about my body is “I’m God’s masterpiece.” I would never put down a beautiful painting by a master painter, and I don’t have to critique the way God made me.

I can’t wait to see how my thoughts are transformed as I study the rest of the lessons. Maybe I’ll get free from my emotional eating and I might see a physical change happen to my body, but even if that doesn’t happen, I’m looking forward to a better mindset and more peace.

I want to look more and more like Jesus when people see me. That will be a wonderful transformation!

“And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.” (2 Corinthians 3:18 NIV)

Do you need to be transformed? How can focusing on God help you allow the Holy Spirit to change you so you look more like Jesus?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Starting a Podcast

Did you know I have a podcast?

Unless you follow me on Facebook, you probably had no idea.

I’ve told some people, and I’ve posted about it a few times in my Facebook group, but I’ve really been pretty quiet about it.

I’m not sure why, but the reasons probably have something to do with the name and the theme of the podcast: Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder.

I’ve been learning to catch my thoughts over the last several years (as we’re instructed to do in 2 Corinthians 10:5). Distorted thinking was a big contributor to the major depressive episode I had in 2014. I want the podcast to help people learn to recognize the thought distortions that make life more difficult and lead to anxiety and depression.

But it can’t help anyone if I don’t tell people about it.

I’ve finally set a date for a little launch party on Zoom. Come join me on Thursday, June 29 at 6:30 p.m. (Central) and we’ll celebrate the episodes I’ve already created. I’m going to give away two copies of a “Catch Your Thoughts Calendar” I made, and we’ll chat about past and future episodes of the podcast.

As I’ve thought about how I’ve been keeping the podcast mostly to myself, I was reminded of how often we do that as Christians. We have the best news about how much God loves us and wants to have a relationship with us, but we sometimes get busy, or lazy, or scared, and we just keep that good news to ourselves.

We need to be aware of opportunities to share that good news with people in our lives. People we know…and people God brings into our lives that we don’t know yet. We can help other people learn to follow Jesus.

I hope you’ll check out my podcast (click here) and tell a few people about it. It just might help you (and others) catch your unhelpful, distorted thoughts and replace them with true, helpful thoughts instead. It could make a big difference in your life. It could make a big difference in someone else’s life.

While you’re at it, look for opportunities to share your faith with someone. It could make an eternal difference in their life.

Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:18–20 NIV)

Do you tend to keep good news to yourself? How can focusing on God help you be more deliberate about sharing the good news you’ve found with others?

© 2023 Robyn Mulder

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Focus Friday: Let’s Just Keep Swimming

I competed in a Masters swim meet last Saturday. I wrote about it in last week’s post (click here to read it). Masters swimming is for adults who enjoy swimming and want to stay active. At 57 years old, it can be scary to race alongside people half my age. Luckily, I don’t have to worry about beating them in a race. Ribbons are awarded based on how well you do against swimmers in your age bracket.

I’m happy to report that I didn’t struggle with my thoughts too much during the meet. I was pretty nervous on the way there and during the time for warming up, but once I finished my first race I felt more calm and I really enjoyed myself.

I got a first-place ribbon in each of the three events I swam. Before you get too impressed, I have to tell you that I was the only swimmer my age in two of the events. In the third event, I did swim faster than another woman my age.

Swimming gives me lots of opportunities to work on my thought life and improve my mental health. Exercise in general is good for our brains, but the mental gymnastics I have to do every week is also good for me. Do I drive to the pool today, or do I skip it and stay home? (I always feel better when I decide to go.) Shall I swim 500 yards today, or should I push through and do 1000? (I’m always glad when I go for the longer workout, and I’m hoping to get back to swimming more like 2000 yards every time I practice.) Can I make it to the wall and do a flip turn, or should I stop and rest instead? (I surprise myself when I flip and keep swimming. I can do it!)

If I compared myself to the twenty-year-old swimmers at Masters swim meets, I would give up in despair. I’ll never swim as fast as they do! But if I remind myself that exercise is good for me and I can set small goals for myself as I improve, then I’ll be able to enjoy swimming for years and years.

When it comes to our mental health, we must be careful not to compare ourselves with others. Each of our situations is different. We need to be aware of our own thoughts and feelings and make small goals as we improve our mental health. There will be ups and downs, but we’ll see improvement as we practice.

Just “keep swimming,” and you’ll enjoy life for years and years.

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6 NIV)

Are you ever tempted to quit because you get tired or you compare yourself to others? How can focusing on God help you to “just keep swimming” and persevere through whatever situation you face?

© 2023 Robyn Mulder