Category: Faith

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Taking What Comes

On vacation recently, a couple of things happened that surprised me.

We went to Cedar Point in Sandusky, Ohio one day. I kept saying I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on the spinning rides like the Scrambler because the last time I went on it I almost got sick. Add my bouts with vertigo in recent years and I was sure the little rides that spun me around in a circle would be too much.

Well, I tried one small ride and it wasn’t too bad.

Then I went on another one and it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would either.

I went on quite a few and I never did feel sick.

I almost missed out on some fun because I assumed my body would react a certain way and it didn’t.

After that long day of excitement, we drove down to Tennessee to visit my parents. We had fun talking, playing dominoes, and watching recorded episodes of “The Chase” on TV.

As the end of our visit neared, I braced myself for a teary goodbye. The last couple of times we’ve visited, I got choked up as we headed down the street from their house. It came on suddenly and the strong emotions surprised me. I guess I was thinking about how they’re getting older and wondering how much longer I’d have them.

Well, this time we hugged them goodbye, got in the car, headed down the street and . . . no tears!

What does that mean? I wondered. Did I not love them as much? Should I be crying?

Of course I love them. I don’t have to cry every time I leave them.

I can take what comes.

I’ve always had a tendency to overthink everything that happens to me and every thought I have. As I get older, I don’t have the energy to do that as much as I did when I was younger, but it still plagues me way too often.

I’m gradually learning that I can accept the circumstances in my life and not think them to death. I can look curiously at the emotions I feel.

If I feel sad, I can cry. If I’m happy, I can laugh. If I’m angry, I can really feel it and decide if I need to let it go or do something about it.

I can take what comes and not worry about if it’s the right or wrong way to feel. The Holy Spirit can comfort me, convict me, encourage me, or compel me—no matter what comes my way.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1–4 NIV)

Do you overthink how you’re feeling or what’s happening in life? How can focusing on God help you take what comes and trust him as you move ahead?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Having a Happy Heart

As someone who deals with depression and anxiety, I’m always on the lookout for tools to help me stay healthy.

I’d like to share some thoughts from the book Heart Happy by Tricia Goyer this week.

She beautifully writes about the practices she’s found for nourishing her soul, even in the midst of chaotic circumstances. That’s something we all can benefit from, even if we don’t struggle with mental illness.

We don’t have to be happy about the hard things happening in our lives. It’s okay to be sad or frustrated, but if we can stay centered in God’s love then we’ll be able to get through anything with a peace and joy the world really can’t understand.

I want you to read the book, but I’m going to whet your appetite with a few quotes to ponder as you cultivate a happy heart:

Page 6: Every small decision to tend your soul and to turn your heart to God WILL bring change. When you draw near to God first, you will make your heart happy in the Lord. Experiencing God in these moments will allow you to know and feel His love. As this happens, you become centered even in chaotic circumstances.

Page 32: The good news is that as we connect with God’s love and give Him access to our souls, change comes according to His wisdom and through His power. Our hearts are not something that need to be beaten into submission by our iron will or flailing fists. Instead, we offer our souls to God to mold and to fill. Fashioned after Christ and overflowing with God’s love, a happy heart then becomes the staging ground where God is given access to every aspect of our personality, emotions, and values—and it’s these things that guide our lives.

Page 67: Our happiness reflects our understanding of where we stand in Christ. [Robyn’s note: This sentence really got to me and made me think. I can see it in my own life. When I’m not close to God it’s much more difficult to feel peace and joy. The opposite is also true. When I’m close to God, I feel peace no matter what’s happening around me.]

Page 162: Turning to God sets our direction; looking to Him allows us to know where He’s looking and where we should go.

I first read this book from a pdf version so I couldn’t highlight anything. I typed out note after note on my phone so I could remember all of the good ideas and thoughts to consider. Now I have a physical copy and I plan to underline all of those quotes as I reread Heart Happy.

I pray you’ll spend some time in the Bible today and let God speak to you in the chaos of life.

God loves us and he understands the pain we feel. He sees our tears and he weeps with us.

He also longs for us to reach out to him in every season of life. It feels easy in the good times, but it’s even more crucial in the hard times. When it seems like everything around us is falling apart, we can still enjoy a happy heart.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23 NIV)

Do you have a happy heart? How can focusing on God help you experience peace and joy in your heart, no matter what is happening around you?

(Get the book Heart Happy by clicking here. This is an affiliate link, so I’ll get a tiny commission, but you won’t pay more.)

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Finding Purpose

It’s been a couple of weeks since my big swim meet in Sioux Falls. After all my worrying, I actually had a great time that day. I won a ribbon for each of the four events I swam. (It really helps when you’re old because there isn’t as much competition!)

Something strange has happened, though.

I’ve continued to swim a few times a week, but it has felt so hard! I don’t feel like swimming fast and I’ve been struggling to even get as many yards in during practice.

The only thing I can think of is that I’ve lost my purpose.

I no longer have a swim meet pressing me to work hard. Next year’s meet is too far away to make a difference right now, so my workouts have felt like a slog.

I’m going to have to remind myself of the good reasons I have for swimming: better physical and mental health.

Sometimes we can lose our purpose in life.

We don’t feel satisfied by our relationships, careers, and extracurricular activities. It seems like we’re just going through the motions for no good reason. We wonder why we should even try.

I was starting to go in that direction recently…but then came Easter.

Our men’s group sang “Because He Lives” for special music, and I teared up when they got to the chorus:

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living just because He lives

There. That’s my purpose. It’s not about ribbons or medals or excitement or even satisfaction. Life is worth the living just because Jesus rose from the dead and lives for me now.

He lives for you now, too. Let’s find our purpose in that.

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (Galatians 2:20 NIV)

Do you ever lose your purpose in life? How can focusing on God help you get it back?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Not Borrowing Trouble

Sometimes we feel unnecessary stress and angst because we borrow trouble.

I do that way too often.

I did it at the writers conference earlier this week. On Monday night I started to worry because my flight was leaving at 4:05 on Tuesday and I was planning to ride a shuttle to the airport at 2:00.

My brain started to spin: What if the traffic is really heavy? What if someone is late getting to the shuttle? What if I have to sprint through the airport? What if I’m the very last person to get on board the aircraft? What if I miss my flight altogether?

I was borrowing trouble.

I had no idea if any of those things would happen, but my brain started to hyper-focus on them and I got really nervous.

I tried to tell myself it would all work out, even if I missed my flight, and I was finally able to enjoy the rest of my evening.

The next day, it was interesting to see how my mood was influenced by other people’s ideas. My friends and I asked one of the directors of the conference if she thought we would make it okay (my friends had an earlier flight and weren’t sure if they were allowing enough time for the Lyft they had scheduled).

“Oh sure, no problem!” she assured all of us. We breathed a sigh of relief and felt better.

Then at lunch I was telling someone my schedule and she got a worried look on her face. And just like that I was back to borrowing trouble. What if? What if? What if?

It all worked out. Everyone got to the shuttle early. We made it to the airport by a little after 2:30 and I had plenty of time to go through security and wait to board. I had worried for nothing.

Sure, there are those times where our worst fears really happen, but we can deal with those things then. There’s no reason to borrow trouble and get all worked up today about the possible mishaps of tomorrow.

As we spend time reading the Bible and talking to God, we’ll learn to trust the Lord. He’ll help us handle each day’s problems.

We may even feel some peace and joy when we decide to stop borrowing trouble.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matthew 6:33–34 NIV)

Do you tend to borrow trouble? How can focusing on God help you to trust him to help you through the challenges of each day and not worry about the future?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Doing Scary Things

This week I did something scary.

First I signed up to be a member of U.S. Masters Swimming. I filled out the online form, paid my fee, and hit submit. And then I felt a bit sick to my stomach.

I had to do it, because I had to be a member before I could go to the South Dakota Masters Swimming website the next day and sign up for the swim meet on April 9. And then I felt even more sick.

What am I doing?! I’ve only been practicing since January. I’m not in the best shape (although I have improved). I’m scared!

But I will push past my fears and do this scary thing.

I’ll meet other swimmers. I’ll have fun watching other races. I’ll challenge myself in four events. I doubt I’ll win anything, but who knows? It could happen.

Tomorrow I fly to California for the Inspire Christian Writers Conference at Mount Hermon.

What am I doing?! Will I be able to share my writing project ideas clearly? Will my flights go well so I can meet some friends and get to the conference on time? Will everyone else be dressed better than me? Will they like my writing? I’m scared!

But I will push past my fears and do this scary thing.

I’ll spend time with other writers. I’ll get support and inspiration for my own writing and I’ll be able to encourage others. I’ll get a few days to really spend time with God and hear his direction for my book and other writing projects.

For the swim meet and the conference, I’m assuming the fear will turn into a sense of accomplishment once I get to the other side.

I have to keep that in mind when other scary opportunities come my way.

God will be with me, whatever I’m doing. He’ll be with you, too, dear reader, as you face your own scary thing.

That medical diagnosis? He’s there.

That cross-country move? He’s there.

That first date? He’s there.

That speech you have to give? He’s there.

No matter how scary it is (and you don’t have to pretend it’s not), God will help you and get you through it. Do it even though you’re scared.

I’ll make it through my scary things. I just hope I’m not shaking so hard at the swim meet that I fall off the starting block early.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)

Do you have to face any scary things right now? How can focusing on God help you to get through them in spite of your fears?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Not Getting Disqualified

I recently submitted a writing piece for a contest. After I sent it, I realized that I had included my husband’s name at one point. We weren’t supposed to have our own name anywhere on the piece, but I hadn’t considered that his name might identify me to the judges.

I shot off a quick email asking if that could be taken out, but the submissions had already gone to the first-round judges. “Unfortunately,” she wrote, “an identifier will probably disqualify the piece.”

I felt sick.

I cried.

I sent one last email, asking if it could maybe be taken out before it went on to the next round.

Her last email empathized with me, but she said that submissions cannot be changed once they reach the judges.

I guess I’ll just have to see what happens and think harder next time I submit something. (The thing that really pains me is that I had taken it out at one point and then I put it back in!)

This experience has given me some insights into the vulnerable places of my heart. Just reading the word “disqualify” brought such a visceral reaction. I’m supposed to do everything to the best of my ability, and if I do that, I can’t be disqualified, right?

But if I don’t follow the rules exactly, I have to be disqualified.

I’m thinking about competing in a swim meet in April. It’s kind of scary because there are quite a few chances to fail. A false start, touching the wall in the wrong place, staying underwater too long before surfacing. All of these can get a swimmer disqualified.

So should I quit entering writing contests and swim meets because I’m afraid of failing?

No, I just have to try my best to follow the rules and learn from my mistakes.

How much more important it is for us to consider our spiritual lives, following what the Bible says and obeying the Holy Spirit’s leadings. We learn from our mistakes and press on, showing ourselves grace as we do our best. If we sincerely do that, we’ll never be disqualified.

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air. No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.” (1 Corinthians 9:24–27 NIV)

Have you ever been disqualified? How did you feel? How can focusing on God help you live well and not be disqualified?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Seeing the End

When I swim on Tuesday and Thursday mornings, the coaches write a workout on the board. After weeks of ignoring it (doing my own thing as I got back into swimming), lately I’ve been trying to follow it.

One day last week it seemed doable:

I think I can do this! So I swam hard, marking off my laps with a waterproof playing card every time I finished 50 yards. (My old brain can’t just keep track in my head.)

The coaches were talking off to the side while I ticked off more and more yards.

I can’t believe I’m going to finish a full workout this time!

And then Coach Cassie stood up and wrote the rest of the workout on the board.

And just like that my confidence was shattered.

Of course that wasn’t the whole thing. I should’ve known I couldn’t do it.

But I kept swimming. I didn’t complete the entire list, but I did swim 1800 yards within the hour I was there. That’s the most I’ve done since I started in January!

When I could see the end, I pushed toward it.

But how can we push forward when we can’t see the end?

When we don’t know how long our relationship problems will last.

When we don’t know how the struggle with cancer will turn out.

When we don’t know if we can ride out the ups and downs of depression.

We push through because we have faith. Even though we can’t see the finish line and we don’t know how things will end, we can keep going as we trust that God will get us through every single step.

I don’t know if I’ll ever win a race in swimming, but I know that if I press on in life, someday I’ll win an even better prize.

“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14 NIV)

Is it hard to press on when you can’t see the end? How can focusing on God help you keep going?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on the Power of a Life

If you’d rather listen to this post, you can click play here.

Gary is preaching a sermon series* called “A Look at a Life” right now at First Reformed Church in Volga. Not just any life. His life. It’s turning out to be a good way to help the congregation get to know him and also examine their own lives as they listen.

It’s uncomfortable at times, even though I know his story. He willingly reveals the sins that he struggled with before he finally made Jesus the Lord of his life.

I squirm a little bit in the pew when he mentions me, because I’m part of his life, but it isn’t out of embarrassment. I just know everyone’s looking at me when he mentions my name. I’m proud of my husband’s witness and I’m glad I’m part of his story.

In a few weeks I’ll be joining him during the message and we’ll share about my experience with depression. It will be scary, but we’re hopeful that people can be encouraged as they hear our story.

There’s power in a life. We forget that sometimes.

It’s tempting to just make it through each day, getting things done and ignoring the things we don’t want to admit. We stuff down the difficult emotions and memories we don’t want anyone to see.

But there’s power in those things. Sharing about the sins we’ve overcome and the difficult experiences we’ve gone through can be inspiring for other people going through the same things.

Gary and I have been visiting with people from our new church. We sit down with them in their homes or the church office and we listen to their stories. We hear about their families and we learn about the challenges they’ve faced.

There’s power there. We have a new level of respect for them when we realize they’ve made it through something difficult. God’s light shines brighter as we see what God has done in someone’s life.

Let’s never forget the power of a life.

Share your story. Someone needs to hear it.

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:16 NIV).

Do you like to share your story, or is it difficult? How can focusing on God help you know when and where you need to share it?

*You can check out Gary’s sermon series (it started on January 23) if you click here or go to the church website: https://www.firstreformedvolga.org/ and click on “Sermons.”

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Fighting Ourselves

There’s been a war going on in my mind lately.

I feel like I’m fighting myself at every turn.

One part of me wants to do something productive. Another part of me wants to scroll social media.

Some days I want to eat healthy and exercise. Other days I want to snack constantly and skip doing any physical activity at all.

Even more disconcerting are the moments when I waffle between hope and despair. The emotionally healthy side of my brain looks forward to new friendships, experiences, and goals. The mentally ill side of my brain tries to squash all hope and attempts to point out all of the possible failures and flaws waiting for me in the future.

Don’t worry. I’m not depressed. But, thankfully, these warring thoughts are a signal for me. When I notice them I can take action to make sure the right side wins.

I’ll give you one little example.

A few weeks ago, I paid to go swimming on five Tuesday and Thursday mornings at the local high school. I figured that would give me a good idea of whether I could possibly compete in a swim meet for adults in April.

The five mornings are done now and I have started fighting myself.

I really enjoy swimming. / I’m so out of shape and slow!

I think I’d have fun competing at the swim meet. / I’ll make a fool of myself!

It’s good for me to have goals and work toward them. / I may as well give up now and forget about swimming!

I fight myself in so many areas of my life. Over the years I’ve learned that whichever side I focus on more is the side that wins. I have to catch the negative thoughts and recognize the lies.

Sometimes there’s a bit of truth in the negative thoughts (see “I’m so out of shape and slow!” above). We can acknowledge the truth, but replace it with thoughts that will get us heading in the right direction (“I’m out of shape and slow, but if I keep practicing I’ll get in shape and it will be fun to see if I can get faster“).

We can’t give up the fight! And we also have to remember that we don’t fight alone. The Holy Spirit can help us choose the thoughts and actions that will be good for us. Other people (family, friends, doctors) can help us when we feel like giving up.

Time to be more deliberate about what I’m thinking and doing. The fight is on and I know I’ll win!

For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. (Galatians 5:17 ESV)

Do you fight yourself in any area of life? How can focusing on God help you win the fight?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Names

When a pastor accepts the call to a new church, there are lots of names to learn.

It’s pretty easy for people to remember us. I hear “Hi Robyn!” many times before and after church. I’m getting to know quite a few people, but often I find myself thinking, I have no idea who you are!

Names are important.

When you know someone’s name, there is a certain level of intimacy that doesn’t exist when a person is nameless.

It feels good to hear someone call you by name.

It’s not a huge deal, but I always feel a tinge of disappointment when someone spells my name as “Robin.” They don’t really know me, I think.

But then again, we can sometimes mess up someone’s name even when we know them well. Back at Platte, in the last month we were there, two people accidentally called me by the name of the previous pastor’s wife. They were good friends of mine, they just had a temporary lapse in their memory banks.

I felt a bit incredulous about their goofs, until I stood in line for cookies one Sunday and talked to a guy about something that related to his brother. I realized my confusion when one of his nieces came up and started talking to him. Wait a second, I thought to myself, that’s not his daughter? Oh shoot! I got the two guys mixed up!

It was embarrassing to acknowledge my mistake. I didn’t want to admit that after three and a half years, I had forgotten his name and confused him with his brother. (To be fair, I had way too much swirling around in my brain that morning. Something had to give!)

He was gracious and didn’t seem to hold it against me, but I still feel bad about it.

We are fallible human beings and we won’t always get things right. We just have to do the best we can as we get to know the people in our lives.

Thank goodness we have a God who knows our name. He spells it perfectly every single time and he never gets us confused with someone else.

Before we were born, he knew what we would look like and the personality we would have.

He knows everything we’ll ever do in our life here on this earth.

I’m so glad he knows my name. I’ll keep praising him for how much he loves me and how he knows every single person in this great big world.

As for me, do you think I’m old enough to start saying, “Hi Sweetie!” or “Hey Buddy!” whenever I greet someone? I think I might give it a try!

“My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.” (Psalm 139:15–16 NIV)

Do you have trouble with names? How can focusing on God help you feel grateful that he knows you completely? Do you think focusing on God could help you remember the importance of remembering other people’s names, too?