Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Losing Well

I like to play games. Especially when I’m winning.

Truth be told, I can get just a bit cocky when I’m in the middle of a game and my score keeps getting better. I’m smiling and laughing and teasing my family or friends about how they’re doing.

It’s much harder to stay positive when I get behind and my opponent seems to have all the luck. All of a sudden I get more quiet and the game isn’t quite as fun.

I can remember playing different games with our kids over the years. It seems like quite often we had to talk one of them into continuing to play even though they were losing. They just couldn’t see the point of playing if they couldn’t win. They’d start to pout and storm off to their room.

We spent time trying to teach our kids to lose well. We coached them to keep playing even though they might be losing, because “you never know when the score might turn around!” We even tried to get them to actually cheer for their brother or sister when they won. “Next time it might be you,” we encouraged.

I’d like to think they learned from those games when they were young (although we’ve had a few family fights over the game of Risk when one of us achieved world domination).

I had to practice losing well a couple of times this week.

We went to Rock Rapids, Iowa and stayed with Gary’s mom. The three of us played Rummikub (a tile game) a couple of times and it about killed me when Gary won first, then my mother-in-law, then Gary won again. “It was my turn to win!” I whined. But I got no sympathy from my normally loving husband.

The next day we played again with the same results for the first three games: Gary, Mom, Gary. There may have been just a little too much grumbling and complaining from me as I lost game after game. Finally, I won when we played a seventh round (I wonder if they let me win just so they wouldn’t have to see me pout anymore).

Tonight we played cards with some friends. I did fine on Canadian Salad (Gary was the one who had to lose well on that game), but we ended the night with a game of cribbage. I was giddy and sure of myself while my team was ahead, even pouncing on some points the guys missed while they were counting their hand.

Then, in the final stretch, the guys pulled ahead and I was shocked to find that I missed seeing some points – not once, but twice! What was wrong with me? That never happens!

It was a week of practicing losing well.

It’s kind of fun to trash talk our friends when we’re in the middle of the games we play together, knowing that someone has to win and someone has to lose. Hopefully, we’re not too annoyingly happy when we win and we’re not too pathetically sad when we lose.

We can work on that in other areas of life, too. When things aren’t going our way, it can be tempting to just withdraw and give up trying. We want to stomp off to our room and pout if we can’t win.

Instead, let’s stay in the game. Let’s keep trying and applaud the successes of those around us. Life is more than just a game, and if we believe in Jesus we know that ultimately we’re going to win. We really can’t lose at life, but we do need to practice the same skills we learn by “losing well.”

Perseverance, cheerfulness, kindness, and grace all serve us well as we live our lives. Especially when a 95-year-old woman beats the pants off you in Rummikub.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12 NIV)

How do you feel about losing? How can focusing on God help you to persevere and have a good attitude, even when things aren’t going your way?