It happens all the time.
I make a plan, set a goal, or say I’m going to do something and it goes well for a while. I see progress and feel great as I see success in sight.
But then, I do something to sabotage myself.
I stay away from snacks for a few days and my pants start to feel a little looser…and then I feed my face constantly for a day – just because I can.
I open up my laptop and work daily on my book…and then I get scared and stop writing.
I start to feel confident about editing and take on new clients…and then I entertain thoughts of quitting just because I’m scared I’ll miss something.
That’s what happened yesterday as I finished up an editing project. I started crying and blurted out all of my fears to Gary (my patient, wise husband who has had many similar conversations with me over the years). He talked me down and reminded me that feeling that anxiety is pretty normal.
Almost everyone deals with it to some extent. He reminded me that perfect is not possible, and the people who think they’re perfect are the ones we usually can’t stand to be around. They’re full of arrogance.
Feeling that tension about doing our best keeps us humble. Pushing on through those fears gets us to where we want to go.
He’s right (he almost always is!).
God says in His word that He wants us to live an abundant life. He wants us to follow Him and love Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. He tells us to love others. We can’t do any of those things well if we keep practicing self-sabotage.
John 10:10 in the ESV says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”
Satan loves it when we panic and pull away from something good just because we’re scared. He’ll do anything to keep us stuck in our self-sabotaging ruts because he knows how damaging it would be for him if we actually accomplished our goals.
So let’s get to the bottom of why we’re doing these things. Let’s get to the root of it and learn ways to fight past those feelings and stay on the path to success.
It takes hard work to stop self-sabotaging, but it’s worth it. Hopefully we can do it less and less as the years go by and we’ll see more of the successful outcomes we dream about.
“ ‘But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back [self-sabotages?].’ But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.” (Hebrews 10:38-39 NIV – brackets mine)
Do you often self-sabotage? How can focusing on God help you to stop this and live more abundantly?
*If you struggle with this problem, here are a couple of great resources with more insights and suggestions for combating self-sabotage:
6 Reasons Why We Self-Sabotage (article on thriveglobal.com)
Quick Win: Stop Self-Sabotaging (on the Do It Scared Podcast with Ruth Soukup)
Your honesty is refreshing. I must be older than you because I don’t struggle with this too much anymore. But I have in the past and it’s a hard thing to process through. I’m glad your husband is a great support for you. Sounds like he has a lot of wisdom and love!
He sure does! I don’t know what I’d do without him!
I hope I grow out of self-sabotage, too. You give me hope, Susan.
Thanks for commenting…it’s very encouraging. I hope your writing is going well…
~Robyn