Tag: support

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on When We Can’t Make It up the Mountain

Gary and I recently attended Rocky Mountain High—a youth event out in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. For my premium rec activity, I attempted to hike Hallett Peak. The summit is 12,720 feet. I had climbed it a couple of times before, but I wasn’t sure if I could make it this time. I was nervous because I knew I wasn’t in tip-top shape, but I really wanted to experience that mountaintop view once again.

The first couple of miles went okay, but I began to struggle. It felt like I was going in slow motion and I started to feel sick. The last people in our group caught up to me and I expressed my desire to make it to the top. “No problem,” they said. “If you keep up this pace, you’ll make it!” I fell in behind them and kept up for several steps, but then I watched them quickly widen the gap between us. I kept plugging away, but when I got to the snow I decided to turn around. I didn’t have the time or energy to make it.

So, I sat on a rock and ate my lunch, gazing longingly at the summit. I could see lots of people from our group moving around up there. It was so tempting to try to push on and make it, but I just had someone take my picture before I headed back down the trail.

My long walk gave me lots of time to think about how I was going to handle this “failure.” Was I going to cry all the way down? Was I going to beat myself up for even attempting it?

I didn’t do either of those things. Sure, I was disappointed that I hadn’t made it to the top, but I tried to be proud of how far I went. With a little more time, I’m sure I would have made it. I got to see some beautiful scenery. I did the best I could, and that was good.

I can’t help but compare my hike to how we can handle our mental health journeys. We might have a goal in mind. Under the right circumstances, we can achieve it. Sometimes we need to be happy with something that falls short of our goal. As long as we’re doing our best, we can feel proud of ourselves and everything we accomplish.

After my hike, I talked to my husband. We figured out that I still had lots of water in my backpack. I hadn’t been drinking nearly enough on my hike, which may have contributed to my slow pace and feeling sick. He wished he could have hiked with me and reminded me to drink more.

We need friends and family to walk along with us when it comes to our mental health, too. They can support us and remind us to take care of ourselves. The journey can be amazing, even if you don’t make it to the top of the mountain.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5–6 NIV)

Are you enjoying your journey through life, or are you frustrated because you haven’t reached the “summit” yet? How can focusing on God help you try your best and be content with how far you’ve come?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Speaking Up

When I was very depressed* back in September of 2014, I made lots of mistakes in how I was thinking and acting.

One of my biggest blunders was failing to speak up. Gary knew how much I was struggling, but I said very little at the high school where I was getting more and more stressed and upset about the teaching job I couldn’t seem to handle.

Looking back (and isn’t it always easier to see what we could have done in hindsight?), I might have been able to handle things better if I had spoken up and talked to the other teachers about my worries and frustrations.

I could have gotten more help with the technology problems with the online textbook, instead of being determined that I should be able to figure it out myself.

I could have asked how the other teachers handled disruptive students, instead of just heaping more shame on myself because I couldn’t keep everyone happy and attentive every day.

I could have been more open with people at church and asked them to pray for me as I adjusted, instead of keeping it all to myself and slipping more and more into that dark place.

I learned from the mistakes I made back then when I got so sick.

Now I’m much more willing to speak up when I’m going through something difficult. I talk to God about it, and I talk to other people who can help.

I was reminded of speaking up earlier this week at VBS. In the midst of a busy day of herding a group of 3rd and 4th graders through their various activities at Vacation Bible School, I heard one of the other volunteers admit that she had a meltdown one evening as she thought about a commitment she had made for later this summer. She had doubts about whether her faith was strong enough and if she was the right person for the job she had signed up for.

How brave of her to voice that doubt in a group of peers. We could encourage her and now we know how we can pray for her as that commitment approaches.

We all need to get more comfortable speaking up. Let’s not keep our troubled thoughts to ourselves. Let’s talk to God about them and practice speaking up to people in our lives who can pray for us and give us help and encouragement for whatever we’re going through.

God knows our thoughts, but people aren’t mind readers. We have to speak up.

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” (1 John 5:14-15 NIV)

Do you feel comfortable speaking up, or do you keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself? How can focusing on God help you to be more willing to talk to God and others about your troubles?

*You can read more of my posts about depression over at robynmulder.blogspot.com (search for “depression” or “mental health” to find more posts)