Tag: stress

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Five Ways to Maintain Your Mental Health during the Holidays

Here in the United States, we’re looking forward to the Thanksgiving holiday next Thursday.

I’m starting to see Christmas decorations around town here in South Dakota.

I’m starting to feel some holiday stress.

I figure many of my readers may be feeling it, too, so let’s consider some ideas for maintaining good mental health during the holidays.

  1. Leave time to breathe. Packing our schedule too full of tasks and activities (even if they’re fun) can cause our stress levels to rise. Make sure you plan to set aside some time every day to just relax and breathe. That might look like sitting down to read a book, listen to some music, or take a nap. Whatever helps you recharge your mental batteries.
  2. Make time for support. Whether that means keeping appointments with your counselor, attending a support group like Fresh Hope (find out more at freshhope.us), or just having some conversations with your spouse or best friend, getting support can help you get through the holidays with your mental health intact.
  3. Take time to notice what you’re thinking. If you feel your pulse quicken and your heart pound, take a second to examine your thoughts. You may realize you’re diving into something negative that needs to be turned around. (“Oh my gosh, I’m the worst! I’ll never finish wrapping all these presents!” can change to “Whoa! I’m glad I have such a big family, but I have too much to wrap. Guess I’ll pick up some gift bags tomorrow!”)
  4. Find time for the traditions that mean the most to you. Do the things you love with your family, but let other obligations go if they don’t bring you joy. Sandy Cooper has a great resource called “Creating Your Holiday To-Don’t List” at her website: The Scoop On Balance (thescooponbalance.com). Keeping what you love and letting go of what you don’t just might help your mental health in the next couple of months.
  5. Spend time with the Lord. You might be tempted to throw your devotional time out the window as you get busy with holiday preparations, but that time might be what holds you together through all of the holiday chaos. Jesus really is the “reason for the season,” and spending time with him will help keep our minds and hearts at peace.

This list is not exhaustive, of course. Maybe you have your own ideas for staying mentally and emotionally healthy during the holidays. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving!

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3 NIV)

Do you get stressed out during the holidays? What are some ways you can make sure you’re staying healthy emotionally? How can focusing on God help with that?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Good Distractions

What we think about is important.

You probably know that already. I talk about it often here on the blog and in my Facebook group: Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder.

Recently I wasn’t living as if I believed that. I got bogged down in tons of thoughts about some situations that have been bothering me. Nothing major, but letting my mind ruminate on all of the little worries was leading to lots of stress.

One day this week I grabbed a stack of old church bulletins from a box and went through them while I listened to some podcasts.

My eyes skimmed over the words as I decided what to do with each one. Most of them went in the recycling pile, but once in a while I added one to the little pile to keep.

Every single bulletin brought back good memories of our first church in Chandler, Minnesota. Names, places, sermon titles, yearly events, prayer concerns, births, weddings, and deaths all stirred my memory banks and had me reliving those early years of ministry.

As I sorted, I felt more peace. Thinking about Chandler and everything we did there got my mind off the niggling thoughts that were stressing me out. It was a good distraction.

It got me thinking about how I could choose to do that with other activities.

I could sit and play my guitar. Or listen to music. Or take a walk and enjoy the flowers planted around town. Or play in my craft room and make a card or paint a simple picture. Or read a good book.

There are lots of things I could do instead of ruminating on my worries.

Now, I’m not saying I should ignore them completely. They are real concerns, but it does me no good to just keep thinking about them constantly. I need to acknowledge that they’re bothering me, do what I can in some situations, admit I can do nothing about other situations, pray about all of them, and determine to keep living a good life through it all.

When the negative thoughts start spinning out of control, it’s time to get away from them with a good distraction.

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2 NIV)

Do you ever get stuck in negative thoughts? How can focusing on God help you find a good distraction from your worries?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Peace

Peace.

How can I write about peace when there is so little peace in the world, our countries, our states, our cities, our churches, and our homes?

If we focus on the chaos, all we’ll feel is stress. Broken relationships, political differences, job pressures, and our own sins and failures can build up and create a hum of doubt and insecurity that buzzes in our minds all day, every day.

I know I’ve tried to silence the hum in different ways: grabbing a snack, scrolling Facebook, watching a movie, reading a book. Those aren’t bad things, but I can’t do them just because I feel the stress of life. When the activity is done, the numbing “peace” is gone and the stress comes back.

I’m going to try some different things when the pressures of life start to overwhelm me.

Spending time in my craft room and creating a card for someone relaxes me and brings joy to someone else.

Getting out my guitar and singing some praise and worship songs brings peace to my soul as I turn my thoughts to God instead of the things that are stressing me out.

And, most of all, opening my Bible and reading God’s promises for me reminds me that there is someone who controls all of the chaos. I may not understand what’s happening, but I can trust that everything will turn out okay in the end.

It’s not easy. I know that.

The easy thing is to just keep fretting about all of the upsetting things happening in our lives.

The more difficult thing is to notice the hum of stress and do something healthy and productive to get back to a place of peace.

It takes practice and persistence, but the end result will be so worth it.

“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” (Isaiah 26:3 Modern English Version)

What things are keeping you from feeling peace right now? What activities help you feel more peace? How can focusing on God help you to experience peace even while distressing things are happening?

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Meaningful Monday: Let’s Focus on What to Do When We Feel Wobbly

When I was admitted to the behavioral health unit of our regional hospital back in September of 2014, my husband, Gary, and one of my friends each gave me a copy of Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. The first devotion I read included these words: “You are feeling wobbly this morning….”

That was an understatement. Complete hopelessness had led to my stay in the hospital, so I certainly resonated with the idea of being “wobbly.”

That word has been coming to mind in recent weeks. I’m not hopeless, but something is off. There’s a wobble in my daily life that needs to be addressed.

It’s taking me a bit longer to fall asleep at night, and there have been a few mornings when I have gone back to sleep after the alarm went off.

I’ve been reaching for snacks, games on my ipad, and other distractions when stress levels rise, instead of digging into all of the projects I say I’d like to complete.

My thoughts are spinning a little too much, keeping me from focusing on the important things in life. That’s why I missed a Focus Friday post a few weeks ago and this week I’m writing a Meaningful Monday post.

I’m not sharing this to alarm anyone or to get sympathy. I’m writing it because I know others are going through a similar season of “wobble.” I can see it in their Facebook posts and comments. I can see it on the faces of people around town and at church. I can hear it in the voices of family, friends, and people I listen to on social media. Many of us are getting quite wobbly.

So what are we supposed to do? Let me suggest a few ideas:

  1. Talk about it. Don’t struggle in silence. Just admitting that we’re a little wobbly to those closest to us can help us to find our footing in these crazy times. You may feel better and you just might help someone else by voicing your feelings.
  2. Do something. Figure out what helps you to stop wobbling and do those things. It’s going to be different for every person, so try some things and keep a list of what helps so you can go to it when you feel that wobble happening. (If the wobble has gotten too bad, you may need professional help. Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor or counselor and take their advice so you can get back to a more healthy place.)
  3. Remember the truth. Often when we get wobbly, it’s because we’re believing lies about our situation, the people around us, or ourselves. Write down what you’re thinking and see if it matches up with what the Bible says. God’s words are trustworthy; our thoughts usually are not.

I’m not too worried about being wobbly, but I am taking notice of it. I know it will probably get worse if I ignore it. Living wobbly will keep me frustrated and sidetracked (and could lead to depression). Doing something as soon as I notice the wobble will get me back to moving steadily ahead.

“So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.” (2 Thessalonians 2:15 NIV)

Are you a little wobbly lately? What helps you stop wobbling? How can focusing on God help you to live more steady?

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Super Saturday: Let’s Focus on Something Other Than the Coronavirus

Wow. I haven’t had a Super Saturday post in a long time. I blame the coronavirus.

Oh, don’t worry. I don’t have it, but I have been dealing with the stress of bouncing from thinking “it’s not a big deal” to the extreme of “we’re all going to die.” I’ve been listening to the news and reading most of the posts people are putting on their Facebook feeds.

On Friday we found out that our son’s college is sending everyone home by Wednesday and they’ll complete the school year with online classes. (Just when we were getting used to the empty nest!)

I’m not going to recap the situation or speculate about all that is happening around the world in regards to this pandemic. I’m sure most of you have heard more than enough about all of this.

Instead, I want us to take some time to focus on something other than the coronavirus.

When fear wants to control our thoughts and actions, let’s focus instead on the fact that God has everything under control and we can move ahead with confidence–no matter what happens.

When Satan whispers that everything is meaningless, let’s focus instead on all that is still right and beautiful and good in this big, wide world.

When anxiety tries to hold us hostage and keep us from getting things done, let’s focus instead on the peace we can choose (over and over again) and the confidence we can gain as we do things in spite of feeling anxious.

When we’re tempted to sit all alone and worry, let’s focus instead on who we can reach out to and encourage. We can do that through a phone call, a handwritten card or letter (remember those?), or even a timely Facebook post.

When it feels like everything is falling apart, let’s focus instead on how God keeps everything together. We may not understand it all right now, but we can trust Him and move forward in faith.

There’s so much more to focus on than . . . wait – what was that thing we were so worried about?

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together [except during the coronavirus pandemic], as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:23-25 NIV – brackets mine)

Are you dealing with extra stress during these uncertain times? How can focusing on God help you to keep living well each day – in spite of the questions you may have?

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Super Sunday: Let’s Focus on Handling Stress

I experienced some stress on Friday.

We were planning to have an Open House on Saturday for any church members who wanted to come. I had baking to do and things to clean before we welcomed guests.

But first I wanted to finish up an editing project I had been given about a week and a half before that. I finished up the main editing for the book and then I started checking scripture references. I spent a couple of hours on it, and as the clock ticked closer to noon I could feel the panic starting to well up in me. I wasn’t even halfway through the book, so I knew it was going to take me quite a while to finish.

The baking. The cleaning. The other things on my list of things to do before the Open House. Gary had offered to help with some of it if he could do it in the early afternoon.

I didn’t see how it was all going to work.

And then, all of the thoughts began:

Why didn’t I work on this editing project last week and get it done and off my plate? I’m probably missing things because I’m hurrying, and then the author won’t want to hire me for future projects. I’m a bad editor.

Why hadn’t I done a little more baking earlier in the week instead of leaving it until Friday? Also, I could have cleaned more in the last couple of weeks instead of letting it go until the last minute. You know, if I had a better schedule I could keep the whole house clean so that it was ready for someone to visit at any time. I’m a bad housewife.

I haven’t even started making Christmas cards. I didn’t get that done last year, either. I’m going to lose touch with people because I’ve been lazy. I’m a bad friend.

More thoughts like these were crowding into my head and I got less and less done on my editing job because I wasn’t focusing. I had flashbacks of September of 2014 when I got so depressed during the teaching job.

This time I asked for help instead of trying (and failing) to handle it myself. I told Gary how stressed I was feeling and how I didn’t know how I was going to get the editing done and have time to get ready for the Open House.

He suggested I tell the author I just couldn’t get it done today. I didn’t want to do that because I imagined my client sitting by his computer, waiting for his book to come back so he could move on and get to the publishing phase. But Gary was right, so I sent my author friend a progress report, explaining the situation and asking for a few more days.

I shut my computer and went to the kitchen. As I filled the freezer with Almond Banket and as we dipped Peanut Butter Balls in white chocolate, my stress level lowered. After we cleaned and prepared, I felt more ready for welcoming our friends into our home.

When I got back to my computer after supper, I was surprised and grateful to find an email from my editing client. He told me that he was running behind on the rough draft of the next book he was working on. It would be “a gift” to him if I would wait until later next week to get it back to him. Then he wished me well with the open house.

What a nice surprise.

And what a lesson in handling stress. (The following list is not exhaustive, but it’s a start.)

  1. Ask for help. You can’t always get out of doing something stressful, but asking someone for help could open your eyes to a different way of doing something. Just talking to someone about your feelings can relieve some of that anxiety. (If stress is often getting in the way of “normal” life, you may want to consider going to a professional counselor for help.)
  2. Do something. Sitting still and thinking, thinking, thinking will just add to the stress you’re feeling. Getting something–anything!–done can get you moving in the right direction and lower the stress you’re feeling.
  3. Change your thinking. It doesn’t do you any good to ruminate on all of the things you aren’t doing right today or the things you’ve done wrong in the past. You need to catch those thoughts and focus on what you can do right now. Choose to think positively about the future, changing one thought at a time.

None of us can escape stress. It’s an inevitable part of life.

What we can do is learn coping skills and practice so we get better at handling stress.

Just think of the peace we can have if we get better at noticing stress and taking steps to relieve it right away instead of letting it turn into a crisis.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3 NIV)

Do you let stress build until it paralyzes you? How can focusing on God help you to handle stress in healthy ways?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvSgXBfZQHM

* This feels like a good time to add a link to my “Christmas Stress Song” video on YouTube. I hope it helps you deal with some of the stress of the Christmas season.