(Note: This post was originally published on June 29, 2018 at robynmulder.blogspot.com. I’m working on moving those posts here to robynmulder.com.)
I don’t like asking for help.
I’ll struggle with something for far too long before I finally admit that I can’t do it myself.
It can be little things like pickle jars that won’t open or not being able to move a piece of furniture on my own.
It can also be bigger things, usually more emotional than physical.
That was part of the problem when I got so depressed about four years ago. I was struggling with different aspects of a teaching job and I wouldn’t ask for help. Even worse, people were offering help and I was just too sick to accept it.
I’ve been experiencing some of those same feelings lately. Oh, don’t worry, it won’t turn into depression this time. I’m healthy enough to notice how I’m thinking and feeling, and I’m going to do what I need to do to stay healthy emotionally.
Part of that is asking for help.
I need to talk to Gary about everything and not just hope these annoying anxious thoughts go away on their own.
I need to reach out to others when I’m not sure how to do something, so I don’t get stressed out about whatever it is.
Gardening, for example.
I’ve been feeling a bit of stress about “my” garden.
I put my in quotes because it was actually the previous pastor’s wife who planted some flowers in the backyard. Before we got here, some of the ladies weeded the area. Only one plant was blooming, but it looked very nice.
I went out there several times, but I didn’t really know what was growing. Then I was gone last week, and we’ve gotten lots of rain, and suddenly the spot looked like this:
It doesn’t look so nice, does it?
The thing is, I decided I really do want to keep it up. I’ve walked around Platte and there are so many pretty flower gardens. I want to have one, too!
But I don’t know how. And I’ve been too proud to ask for help.
I know that some of the things growing out there are weeds, like thistles and grass.
But I don’t know what some of the rest of it is. I didn’t want to pull out flowers, so I left it all alone.
This morning I took a walk, and on my way home I saw my neighbor Suzy working in her yard. She has lots of flowers, so I stopped to talk to her. She showed me how she was cutting some of her plants back so they would keep growing.
I told her how I wanted to garden, but I didn’t know how. “I didn’t know how at first, either,” she said.
“How did you learn?”
She thought a moment and said that she had a couple of sisters-in-law that gardened and she learned from them.
I went home and spent a little time in my garden. I was dismayed by all of the weeds I saw, but I was also encouraged when I saw buds on some of the plants and realized I’ll see some flowers soon.
It’s time to ask for help. I can keep showing up at Suzy’s and ask lots of questions. I know there are lots of ladies at church that like to garden and would be happy to help me.
It’s just getting past that initial embarrassment of admitting that I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ll have to be willing to laugh at myself if they come over and can’t believe I didn’t know that a certain plant was just a weed.
I can’t compare my efforts with the beautiful yards some people have. I just need to learn with the small area that someone planted for me and see if I like gardening enough to expand in the years ahead.
I can ask when I get stuck in other areas of my life and I know someone else has the knowledge or talent to help me.
Most of all, I can ask God for help when I’m feeling anxious or uncertain. He’ll show me what to do so I can get back to feeling his peace.
God, do you know anything about gardening?
“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5 NIV)
Do you find it difficult to ask for help? How can focusing on God help you to reach out to others when you’re stuck in some area and need help?
