Tag: perseverance

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Persevering

I recently discovered a new podcast called “Project Perseverance.” The host, Molly Ovenden, started it because she had lots of partially read books on her shelves and she wanted to practice perseverance and read a book from beginning to end and then share what she learned from it. Over time, she has become a writing coach for people who want to persevere and get their writing projects out into the world.

It’s been inspiring for me to listen to the episodes, especially the ones where she’s coaching someone through a specific aspect of their writing.

I’ve been listening, but I’ve also been trying to put what I’m hearing into practice as I finish my own book. (It’s so close!) I can’t procrastinate and run just because I’m nervous about some tricky aspects of formatting my book. I want to keep at it and figure those things out so I can get this project done and out into the hands of readers who need it.

If you’re new around here, let me explain. I went through a major depressive episode in 2014. It sent me to the hospital because I lost all hope. Since then I’ve been proactive about maintaining my mental health. I’ve written a book about my experience and how we can all stay healthy emotionally. I’m planning to publish it on Amazon when I finally finish.

If you aren’t new around here, I’m sure you’re tired of hearing about this book. Well, I hope you’ll indulge me as I keep talking about it. It’s been frustrating (for you and me!) to hear about the possibility of a resource like this but never see it get done. Once it is published, I’m going to keep talking about it, praying that it gets to the people who need it. I hope you’ll talk about it, too, and share it with people in your life with a mental health diagnosis. (Check back for more details once the book gets launched.)

Whatever you’re trying to accomplish, I hope you’ll decide to keep persevering. If you keep moving forward (even if you take tiny steps from time to time), eventually you’ll see the result of your hard work.

If you run from the labor because of fear and uncertainty, that project will never reach completion.

Let’s keep persevering and see what wonderful things we can do with the time and talents God has given us.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

Are you persevering or are you giving up too soon? How can focusing on God help you keep going and accomplish the tasks ahead of you?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Bruises

While on vacation recently, Gary and I went hiking in the Great Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. After hoofing it over six miles to Le Conte Lodge, we headed back down the same trail.

The girls taking our picture thought it was so cute that Gary helped me over the rocks by Rainbow Falls.

At one point, there was a big rock with some moss and a bit of water on it. As I placed my foot, I had the fleeting thought that maybe I should step down further to the right instead of directly on the rock. Just like that, my boot slid out from under me and I landed—hard—on my left hip and shoulder. Gary saw me fall, so he hurried back to make sure I was okay. “I don’t think I broke anything,” I moaned as I pulled myself up and sat for a minute. We continued down the trail. I was sore, but I could still hike.

Amazingly, I didn’t fall down this set of steps!

I figured I would have a bruise after hitting that hard, but we were amazed to see just how big it was the next day. A 6-by-8-inch purple rectangle graced my left thigh. It was still shockingly huge when we got home to South Dakota. I decided to go do my swim workouts, even though people would be able to see it.

“Whoa! What happened to you?” several people commented. I was able to tell them about our long hike in the mountains. I was kind of embarrassed that I had fallen, but I also felt pretty proud of my bruise. As I swam a couple more times this week, I came to think of it as a badge of honor. I had taken a fall, but I got up and kept hiking, and I had the bruise to prove it.

Taken two days after the fall. It got even prettier after this!

When you live with a mental health diagnosis, you sometimes end up with emotional bruises and scars. Sure, people usually can’t see them, but we know they’re there. The tender spots in our lives can be a badge of honor for us—proof that we’ve lived through something difficult and we’re still here.

When we see someone else struggling emotionally, let’s be quick to tell them about our bruises and scars. It may inspire them to keep going as they continue their own journey to better mental health.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

Have you ever had a bruise or scar you were kind of proud of? How can focusing on God help you be willing to share your emotional bruises and scars with someone who needs encouragement or inspiration?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Just Keep Swimming

I competed in a Masters swim meet last Saturday. I wrote about it in last week’s post (click here to read it). Masters swimming is for adults who enjoy swimming and want to stay active. At 57 years old, it can be scary to race alongside people half my age. Luckily, I don’t have to worry about beating them in a race. Ribbons are awarded based on how well you do against swimmers in your age bracket.

I’m happy to report that I didn’t struggle with my thoughts too much during the meet. I was pretty nervous on the way there and during the time for warming up, but once I finished my first race I felt more calm and I really enjoyed myself.

I got a first-place ribbon in each of the three events I swam. Before you get too impressed, I have to tell you that I was the only swimmer my age in two of the events. In the third event, I did swim faster than another woman my age.

Swimming gives me lots of opportunities to work on my thought life and improve my mental health. Exercise in general is good for our brains, but the mental gymnastics I have to do every week is also good for me. Do I drive to the pool today, or do I skip it and stay home? (I always feel better when I decide to go.) Shall I swim 500 yards today, or should I push through and do 1000? (I’m always glad when I go for the longer workout, and I’m hoping to get back to swimming more like 2000 yards every time I practice.) Can I make it to the wall and do a flip turn, or should I stop and rest instead? (I surprise myself when I flip and keep swimming. I can do it!)

If I compared myself to the twenty-year-old swimmers at Masters swim meets, I would give up in despair. I’ll never swim as fast as they do! But if I remind myself that exercise is good for me and I can set small goals for myself as I improve, then I’ll be able to enjoy swimming for years and years.

When it comes to our mental health, we must be careful not to compare ourselves with others. Each of our situations is different. We need to be aware of our own thoughts and feelings and make small goals as we improve our mental health. There will be ups and downs, but we’ll see improvement as we practice.

Just “keep swimming,” and you’ll enjoy life for years and years.

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6 NIV)

Are you ever tempted to quit because you get tired or you compare yourself to others? How can focusing on God help you to “just keep swimming” and persevere through whatever situation you face?

© 2023 Robyn Mulder

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Honoring Our Intentions

I was going to call this week’s post “Let’s Focus on Following Through,” but then I did a search and realized that I used that for a title in April of 2022 when I was feeling nervous about my first Masters swim meet. (You can read that post if you click here.)

How funny that I thought about using that title today, because I’m psyching myself up for my second Masters swim meet tomorrow in Sioux Falls.

I’m not quite as nervous this time. I haven’t shed a single tear about it, but I did experience some normal signs of stress when I read through the list of events and checked out my competition on Thursday. Seeing everyone’s ages and times made my heart race and caused my stomach to do a few flip-flops.

I’m trying to think positively. I want to enjoy the day as I spend time with other adults who love to swim. But I have to admit that I did wish for a couple of minutes that I hadn’t signed up for the meet.

I entertained several of the negative thoughts that kept me waffling about whether to sign up until the very last day:

I could be in better shape.

I’m not sure if I can swim any faster than I did at the first meet.

Maybe I should just wait until next spring and make sure I train harder so I’m really ready.

Thankfully, I didn’t let myself ruminate on any of those thoughts for very long. Instead, I reminded myself of the reasons I finally signed up:

I love to swim.

I want to talk to other swimmers and find out how they stay motivated as they train.

I want to challenge myself and see if I’ve improved since April 2022.

I’m kind of proud of myself already, even if I don’t win a single race. I can see improvements in the way I catch my thoughts. That’s something I try to practice (and encourage others to do it, too) in my free private Facebook group: Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder.

Most of all, I want to show up for this swim meet because I want to honor my intentions. I haven’t always done that, but I’m trying to be more consistent in that area.

I don’t want to miss all of the exciting opportunities in this world just because I’m scared. I found a quote a while back by author Katherine Center:

You have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.*

That’s the way I want to live my life. Brave. Hopeful. Honoring my intentions and commitments. That’s why I’m going to go swim my heart out tomorrow.

I’ll report back next week.

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” (James 1:22 NIV)

Do you honor your intentions? How can focusing on God help you follow through when you say you’re going to do something?

*(Check out her quote in this video: https://katherinecenter.com/defining-a-movement/)

© 2023 Robyn Mulder

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Being Glad You Did It

Gary and I just got back late Tuesday night from a vacation to Greece.

It was wonderful to get away from our normal routine and explore a different country. We spent a few days in Athens, and then we rented a car and visited lots of cities on the mainland.

In quite a few places, we had to hike up to the monastery or archeological site or fortress or castle. It seems like I reached a point in each hike where I questioned myself.

Can I really do this? Is it even worth it? Maybe I should just sit down and let Gary tell me about it when he comes back down.

I got tired, but I took a little break and pressed on.

And every single time, I was glad I did it.

The views from the top were magnificent and I felt a sense of accomplishment because I had kept plugging away and made it to the end of the hike.

At the beginning of our vacation, I had more energy and enthusiasm. It didn’t bother me too much to make the long climbs to see the sites.

When we got toward the end of our time in Greece, it got harder. We decided to pass up the chance to climb 999 steps to see a fortress in Napflio. And when we explored a fortress overlooking ancient Corinth, I started crying when I saw yet another building high on a hill. I was sure I couldn’t make it there (it was getting close to closing time) and I was just so tired.

But I walked as I cried, and I was surprised to find that it only took us fifteen minutes to get to the top of the building. The wind blew my hair all over the place as I cried grateful tears that I had made it to the top.

Once again, I was glad I did it.

As we travel this road of life, there are going to be ups and downs. We may wonder if we have the strength to make it when it feels like a long uphill climb.

Take a break if you have to, but keep going. You’ll feel that sense of accomplishment when you get through a hard season, knowing that you didn’t give up.

As I was hiking, I was always glad I had kept going and made it to the top of whatever we happened to be climbing on a given day. There were little joys that we experienced on the way up and down: poppies and other wildflowers blooming along the path, the ruins we passed on the way up, hearing various languages spoken by other travelers (I love foreign languages), stopping to take in the views as we got higher and higher on the trail, finally reaching the top, and enjoying the easier trip back down to our starting place.

I thought about how that compares to going through our lives. I sometimes get overwhelmed and want to quit, but I want to push past those feelings and live my entire life. The ups and downs…all of it. I know there are going to be hard times, but I also know there are going to be thousands of joyful moments along the way. When I get to the end of my life, I just know I’m going to be glad I did it.

Keep going, friends, you’ll be glad you did it, too.

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7 NIV)

Do you ever get tired of life’s ups and downs? How can focusing on God help you keep going so you can be “glad you did it” someday?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Staying Away from the Edge

As you probably know by now, in 2014 I went through a severe bout with depression. Depression and anxiety robbed me of all hope and sent me to the hospital. I’m so thankful for the help I got there.

Now I have joy, confidence, and hope most days, but the negatives often try to creep back in. It catches me off guard and discourages me so much. I’m learning to catch those thoughts and turn them around so that it doesn’t turn into a depression that debilitates me, but it is often difficult.

I’d like to focus on “staying away from the edge” in this week’s post. Have you ever traveled somewhere and experienced that moment of vertigo when you are overlooking some beautiful vista? Niagara Falls, The Grand Canyon, a hike in the mountains with a deep ravine next to your footpath? You realize that one false step could send you plummeting to your death. If you are wise, you make sure you are staying away from the edge so you are safe.

I think we can also do that emotionally. Mental illness can mean the death of us if we keep going in spite of all of the danger signs and fall over the figurative edge. I’d like to explore some of the ways we can stay away from the edge when it comes to our mental health. I’m sure you’ve read some of my posts that deal with that already, but I’ll share some of the ways I do that (again) in an upcoming post.

This time, I’d like to ask for your help. Would you be willing to share some of the ways you “stay away from the edge” as you live with a mental health diagnosis?

 Email me at robyn@robynmulder.com or send me a message on Facebook. I would love to hear from you and share some of your ideas with others who are also working to maintain their mental health. Please share this post with anyone who may also be struggling.

Most of all, please get help if you are teetering on the edge and you don’t feel like it’s worth it to get back to safe footing. Talk to your family, friends, or your doctor. You can also call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline if you need help.

Let’s all make sure we’re staying away from the edge.

“…I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life,….” (Deuteronomy 30:19–20 NIV)

Do you ever feel like you might go over the edge? How can focusing on God help you stay away from the edge and enjoy a fulfilling life in spite of a mental health diagnosis?

© 2016 (and tweaked in 2023) Robyn Mulder

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Mental Health in May 2022 (Part 4: Keep Going)

Hopelessness is often one of the symptoms of mental illness.

It can hit some people out of the blue, overtake others gradually when they are going through a difficult experience, or cling stubbornly to certain individuals for a lifetime.

However it happens, hopelessness can tempt us to give up.

Life seems too hard. Evil seems too prevalent. Danger seems too scary. The future seems too uncertain.

It takes courage and determination to keep moving forward in spite of everything we dread.

But we can do it.

We may need to rest a while. We may need to reach out for help. We may need to borrow hope from other people. We may need to move very, very slowly.

But we need to keep going.

I love this quote from Pastor Brad Hoefs, founder of Fresh Hope support groups: “If you’re going through hell right now, don’t you dare stop. If you stop, you’re in hell. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going!”

When you start to feel hopeless, try to think about the positive things in your life. Remind yourself of all of the hard times you’ve come through before. Look for beautiful things, funny things, meaningful things. Put them where you can see them often or write things down and read them every day. You can get to better times.

Keep noticing. Keep talking. Keep working. Keep going.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

How often do you feel hopeless because of your mental health? How can focusing on God help you keep going?

Here’s the video of Pastor Brad Hoefs. (The whole video is good, but the quote mentioned is at about 8:53.)
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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Mental Health in May 2022 (Part 3: Keep Working)

In the last couple of weeks we’ve explored how we need to notice our mental health and how important it is to talk about it with friends, family members, and professionals.

Now it’s time to do the work.

It would be nice if we could just take a nap or watch a little TV as our brains heal, but the reality is that we also need to do some hard things to get to better emotional health.

It’s going to look different for each individual, but here are some things we could work on:

  • Fight to counter any negative thinking with more positive thoughts. (2 Corinthians 10:5 says to “take every thought captive.”) Be realistic about the difficult aspects of life, but try to find ways to think about them that are more hopeful and productive.
  • Be sure to take prescribed medications on time, making sure not to skip any doses.
  • Attend a support group where we can talk to others who know what it’s like to have a mental illness. (Fresh Hope is a peer-led group with online resources at freshhope.us.)
  • Talk to a therapist and learn skills for dealing with stress and anxiety in healthy ways. Work on any homework the counselor gives us so we can apply the skills and maintain good mental health.
  • Don’t isolate. We need to reach out if our symptoms are getting worse. The sooner we can stop that downward spiral, the better off we’ll be.
  • Never give up hope! This will be harder some days than others, but we need to remember that our emotions ebb and flow. We can hold on until the dark times pass.

Living with a mental illness like anxiety or depression means we have to work harder at regulating our emotions than other people.

With practice and perseverance, it can get easier. It’s worth every ounce of effort we give it.

Keep working.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13 NKJV)

Do you find it hard to take actions as you deal with a mental illness? How can focusing on God help you keep working and get more healthy?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Paddling Hard


I learned a lesson from my daughter this week.

Our kids from Lincoln, Nebraska were here visiting and we went kayaking together on Tuesday morning. We went to a new spot at Pease Creek, which flows into the Missouri River. The wind was stronger than we had anticipated, but after we braved the waves and current of the “creek,” we had an easier time paddling along the opposite shore.

We enjoyed the scenery as we went upstream. Swallows darted around us in several places. We saw a little island and made that our goal. “We’ll go around the island and then the wind will push us back to where we got in.”

Only it didn’t work quite that way. After we got around the island, the wind seemed to have died down. We had to work harder than we had planned as we went back downstream.

We still had a ways to go when I noticed our daughter Erin getting frustrated.

Her kayak kept turning to the right for some strange reason. If she paddled, she was okay, but if she stopped for even a few seconds the front end swung off to the right and she ended up sideways in the waves.

We were close together, and I could see her getting more and more perturbed. She sighed and grumbled. She’d paddle a little and then I watched her kayak slowly turn right again. I felt sorry for her, but I couldn’t really do anything to help her.

I kept going and concentrated on getting my own arms to keep working. I was tired!

All of a sudden I looked ahead and I saw Erin digging her paddle into the water with determination. Gary was still ahead of her, but she had blown by the rest of us and she was getting close to the shore. She was mad and she wanted this kayak trip to be over as soon as possible.

She still seemed a bit ticked when the rest of us pulled up to the beach, but she didn’t take it out on anyone. She helped put the kayaks on the trailer and she was pleasant on the ride back home.

When we talked about it later, she said that was a conscious choice. She was so mad in the water, so she decided to just get to shore as fast as she could. After that she had to choose to let her anger go so she didn’t act like a jerk to the rest of us.

I was impressed and proud of her. And I was also challenged, because way too often when I get frustrated because something isn’t going my way, I just sit and complain. I get mad, but I don’t do anything about it. If the situation gets better, sometimes I still carry the anger with me and take it out on the rest of the family.

How much different life would be if I could practice what I saw Erin do the other day.

When I get angry because I’m veering off course, I can use that anger to fuel my forward motion. I can set my sights on where I want to go, dig in, and paddle hard until I arrive at my destination.

You may have an area of life where you’re frustrated, listing off to the side instead of moving closer to your goal. The Holy Spirit wants to help us, but we have to put in the work necessary to move forward. We can’t just sit still and expect to get where we want to go.

We need to sit at the computer and type if we want to write that article, devotion, or book.

We have to find something else to do when we’re tempted to eat out of boredom or stress.

We have to make time to read and study hard if we want that diploma or degree.

We need to let go of the past and focus on the plans God has for us in the future.

Get mad at the sins and distractions that are hindering your progress. Dig in and ask God to help you figure out the next steps you need to take to move forward. Paddle hard until you accomplish what God is calling you to do.

Get mad! Dig in! Paddle hard!

“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13–14 NIV).

Are you frustrated because it doesn’t seem like you’re getting any closer to your goals? How can focusing on God help you to move forward?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Losing Well

I like to play games. Especially when I’m winning.

Truth be told, I can get just a bit cocky when I’m in the middle of a game and my score keeps getting better. I’m smiling and laughing and teasing my family or friends about how they’re doing.

It’s much harder to stay positive when I get behind and my opponent seems to have all the luck. All of a sudden I get more quiet and the game isn’t quite as fun.

I can remember playing different games with our kids over the years. It seems like quite often we had to talk one of them into continuing to play even though they were losing. They just couldn’t see the point of playing if they couldn’t win. They’d start to pout and storm off to their room.

We spent time trying to teach our kids to lose well. We coached them to keep playing even though they might be losing, because “you never know when the score might turn around!” We even tried to get them to actually cheer for their brother or sister when they won. “Next time it might be you,” we encouraged.

I’d like to think they learned from those games when they were young (although we’ve had a few family fights over the game of Risk when one of us achieved world domination).

I had to practice losing well a couple of times this week.

We went to Rock Rapids, Iowa and stayed with Gary’s mom. The three of us played Rummikub (a tile game) a couple of times and it about killed me when Gary won first, then my mother-in-law, then Gary won again. “It was my turn to win!” I whined. But I got no sympathy from my normally loving husband.

The next day we played again with the same results for the first three games: Gary, Mom, Gary. There may have been just a little too much grumbling and complaining from me as I lost game after game. Finally, I won when we played a seventh round (I wonder if they let me win just so they wouldn’t have to see me pout anymore).

Tonight we played cards with some friends. I did fine on Canadian Salad (Gary was the one who had to lose well on that game), but we ended the night with a game of cribbage. I was giddy and sure of myself while my team was ahead, even pouncing on some points the guys missed while they were counting their hand.

Then, in the final stretch, the guys pulled ahead and I was shocked to find that I missed seeing some points – not once, but twice! What was wrong with me? That never happens!

It was a week of practicing losing well.

It’s kind of fun to trash talk our friends when we’re in the middle of the games we play together, knowing that someone has to win and someone has to lose. Hopefully, we’re not too annoyingly happy when we win and we’re not too pathetically sad when we lose.

We can work on that in other areas of life, too. When things aren’t going our way, it can be tempting to just withdraw and give up trying. We want to stomp off to our room and pout if we can’t win.

Instead, let’s stay in the game. Let’s keep trying and applaud the successes of those around us. Life is more than just a game, and if we believe in Jesus we know that ultimately we’re going to win. We really can’t lose at life, but we do need to practice the same skills we learn by “losing well.”

Perseverance, cheerfulness, kindness, and grace all serve us well as we live our lives. Especially when a 95-year-old woman beats the pants off you in Rummikub.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12 NIV)

How do you feel about losing? How can focusing on God help you to persevere and have a good attitude, even when things aren’t going your way?