Recently I wasn’t living as if I believed that. I got bogged down in tons of thoughts about some situations that have been bothering me. Nothing major, but letting my mind ruminate on all of the little worries was leading to lots of stress.
One day this week I grabbed a stack of old church bulletins from a box and went through them while I listened to some podcasts.
My eyes skimmed over the words as I decided what to do with each one. Most of them went in the recycling pile, but once in a while I added one to the little pile to keep.
Every single bulletin brought back good memories of our first church in Chandler, Minnesota. Names, places, sermon titles, yearly events, prayer concerns, births, weddings, and deaths all stirred my memory banks and had me reliving those early years of ministry.
As I sorted, I felt more peace. Thinking about Chandler and everything we did there got my mind off the niggling thoughts that were stressing me out. It was a good distraction.
It got me thinking about how I could choose to do that with other activities.
I could sit and play my guitar. Or listen to music. Or take a walk and enjoy the flowers planted around town. Or play in my craft room and make a card or paint a simple picture. Or read a good book.
There are lots of things I could do instead of ruminating on my worries.
Now, I’m not saying I should ignore them completely. They are real concerns, but it does me no good to just keep thinking about them constantly. I need to acknowledge that they’re bothering me, do what I can in some situations, admit I can do nothing about other situations, pray about all of them, and determine to keep living a good life through it all.
When the negative thoughts start spinning out of control, it’s time to get away from them with a good distraction.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:2 NIV)
Do you ever get stuck in negative thoughts? How can focusing on God help you find a good distraction from your worries?
How can I write about peace when there is so little peace in the world, our countries, our states, our cities, our churches, and our homes?
If we focus on the chaos, all we’ll feel is stress. Broken relationships, political differences, job pressures, and our own sins and failures can build up and create a hum of doubt and insecurity that buzzes in our minds all day, every day.
I know I’ve tried to silence the hum in different ways: grabbing a snack, scrolling Facebook, watching a movie, reading a book. Those aren’t bad things, but I can’t do them just because I feel the stress of life. When the activity is done, the numbing “peace” is gone and the stress comes back.
I’m going to try some different things when the pressures of life start to overwhelm me.
Spending time in my craft room and creating a card for someone relaxes me and brings joy to someone else.
Getting out my guitar and singing some praise and worship songs brings peace to my soul as I turn my thoughts to God instead of the things that are stressing me out.
And, most of all, opening my Bible and reading God’s promises for me reminds me that there is someone who controls all of the chaos. I may not understand what’s happening, but I can trust that everything will turn out okay in the end.
It’s not easy. I know that.
The easy thing is to just keep fretting about all of the upsetting things happening in our lives.
The more difficult thing is to notice the hum of stress and do something healthy and productive to get back to a place of peace.
It takes practice and persistence, but the end result will be so worth it.
“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” (Isaiah 26:3 Modern English Version)
What things are keeping you from feeling peace right now? What activities help you feel more peace? How can focusing on God help you to experience peace even while distressing things are happening?
Over the last few days, I’ve been starting to reflect on the highs and lows of 2020. Of course, many of those (especially the lows) are common to all of us, but I’ve been thinking about my specific successes and failures.
Because of my temperament and personality, I noticed the failures first.
The stack of Christmas cards from family and friends brought joy as I read each one (and also guilt because I didn’t do cards this year).
Cleaning up my inbox, I came across some emails reminding me of courses I had signed up to take (and haven’t finished yet).
Looking over some credit card statements, I noticed several books I purchased (and haven’t read yet).
It was tempting to get down on myself for these little failures (and I did for a while), but this morning I woke up with a new attitude. I was almost giddy as I thought about possibilities for the new year. It would have been so easy to make a list of all the things I want to accomplish in 2021 and jump into the new year with idealistic goals and plans.
But as the day went on, I sensed the Holy Spirit inviting me to slow down a bit and finish the year well before I begin a new one.
I’m not exactly sure what that looks like, but I’m going to spend some time pondering it in the remaining days of 2020.
I want to look at why I didn’t get to creative projects like Christmas cards, a possible podcast, and completing a book on depression.
I’ll take a look at my plan calendar and see how I spent my time, tweaking it (actually it needs an overhaul) for 2021.
I’ll think about why I still weigh the same, even though I’ve been saying for months and months that I want to get healthier.
And I’ll make my mind acknowledge the successes of the year, even though it wants to belittle everything good I’ve done. I’ll rack my brain and make a list (a long list) of all of the good things that happened this year.
If I go into the new year regretting my mistakes and failures, it will only stifle the potential for future growth and joy. If I can make peace with the things about this year that disappointed me, I can end the year well in spite of them.
“I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to your statutes. I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands.” (Psalm 119:59–60 NIV)
How do you feel about this past year? Are there things you need to do so you can end the year well? How can focusing on God help you to make peace with 2020 before you move on to 2021?
I think we’re all trying to get used to our new normal.
I’ve heard several friends say it feels like such a long time that we’ve been dealing with this. We have been watching the situation unfold around the world for quite a while, but it has actually only been about a week that it really started to affect us.
Sporting events, conferences, and vacations started getting cancelled. Schools have been closed and online classes are beginning.
Grocery store shelves are sometimes bare as people stock up for the unknown.
We’re washing our hands and dumping on hand sanitizer and trying to stay six feet away from everyone we see when we do venture out of the house.
I’ve been handling it as well as I can, just like everyone else. I have noticed that I’m stress eating way too much (like that helps at all) and I’ve had more trouble concentrating when I’m trying to write or edit.
I’ll get involved in something for a while and kind of forget about what’s happening, and then the realization floods back over me that life is not the same as it was.
There’s a danger out there. We don’t know how bad it’s going to get before it’s over – or even when it will be over. I teared up tonight while watching the news and seeing the emergency room filled with people wearing ventilators over in Italy.
We won’t gather for church this Sunday. Instead, Gary will record a message and we’ll post it on our church website for people to watch. Who knows when we’ll be able to meet together again?
It’s our new normal.
We don’t like it. We don’t understand it. We don’t want to get used to it.
But we will.
We’ll find ways to connect, even if it can’t be in person. We’ll find ways to reach out, even if we need to leave six feet between us. We’ll find ways to help each other, even if we’re not quite sure how to help ourselves.
Hang on to hope, my friends, even when everything seems hopeless. God is in control. Because of that, we can keep choosing peace, even in the midst of chaos.
May that become our new normal, even after this virus is long gone.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)
Are you getting used to our new normal? How can focusing on God help you to keep choosing peace in the middle of the chaos and uncertainty?
If you’re like most people, you may be considering resolutions you want to make for the new year.
Or maybe you’re starting to make a list of all of the goals you want to complete in 2020.
I know. I feel it, too. I look at all of the bad habits indulged in this year and I want to resolve to eradicate every single one from my life – by March 1.
I see all of the goals I didn’t complete–and all of the time I wasted–and I want to make a detailed plan to complete every single thing on my list (and maybe add ten more, because I’m sure if I managed my time better I could do them all).
We can’t do that. If we do, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment, failure, and frustration. When we’re focusing on fixing all of our shortcomings and doing all of the things we think we need to do to have a good, successful life, we’re going to end up feeling pressured and agitated when life doesn’t go as planned.
There’s a better place to put our focus. On God.
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3 NIV)
When we start there–with our focus on God–we can feel peace as we trust Him and live our lives each day.
When we start the new year with our focus on God, He’ll give us the wisdom we need to decide what habits we need to work on changing – with His help. He’ll help us discern what our goals should be and give us the energy and drive to complete them.
Starting the new year like this will allow us to begin 2020 with joy in our hearts, excited about all of the opportunities and possibilities the year will bring, instead of weighed down with all of our own demands and expectations.
Now that’s a good way to start.
Happy New Year!
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13 NIV)
Are you excited about the new year, or are you stressed about what you “should” do in 2020? How can focusing on God help you to begin the new year well and enjoy the inevitable ups and downs 2020 will bring?
We were planning to have an Open House on Saturday for any church members who wanted to come. I had baking to do and things to clean before we welcomed guests.
But first I wanted to finish up an editing project I had been given about a week and a half before that. I finished up the main editing for the book and then I started checking scripture references. I spent a couple of hours on it, and as the clock ticked closer to noon I could feel the panic starting to well up in me. I wasn’t even halfway through the book, so I knew it was going to take me quite a while to finish.
The baking. The cleaning. The other things on my list of things to do before the Open House. Gary had offered to help with some of it if he could do it in the early afternoon.
I didn’t see how it was all going to work.
And then, all of the thoughts began:
Why didn’t I work on this editing project last week and get it done and off my plate?I’m probably missing things because I’m hurrying, and then the author won’t want to hire me for future projects. I’m a bad editor.
Why hadn’t I done a little more baking earlier in the week instead of leaving it until Friday? Also, I could have cleaned more in the last couple of weeks instead of letting it go until the last minute. You know, if I had a better schedule I could keep the whole house clean so that it was ready for someone to visit at any time. I’m a bad housewife.
I haven’t even started making Christmas cards. I didn’t get that done last year, either. I’m going to lose touch with people because I’ve been lazy. I’m a bad friend.
More thoughts like these were crowding into my head and I got less and less done on my editing job because I wasn’t focusing. I had flashbacks of September of 2014 when I got so depressed during the teaching job.
This time I asked for help instead of trying (and failing) to handle it myself. I told Gary how stressed I was feeling and how I didn’t know how I was going to get the editing done and have time to get ready for the Open House.
He suggested I tell the author I just couldn’t get it done today. I didn’t want to do that because I imagined my client sitting by his computer, waiting for his book to come back so he could move on and get to the publishing phase. But Gary was right, so I sent my author friend a progress report, explaining the situation and asking for a few more days.
I shut my computer and went to the kitchen. As I filled the freezer with Almond Banket and as we dipped Peanut Butter Balls in white chocolate, my stress level lowered. After we cleaned and prepared, I felt more ready for welcoming our friends into our home.
When I got back to my computer after supper, I was surprised and grateful to find an email from my editing client. He told me that he was running behind on the rough draft of the next book he was working on. It would be “a gift” to him if I would wait until later next week to get it back to him. Then he wished me well with the open house.
What a nice surprise.
And what a lesson in handling stress. (The following list is not exhaustive, but it’s a start.)
Ask for help. You can’t always get out of doing something stressful, but asking someone for help could open your eyes to a different way of doing something. Just talking to someone about your feelings can relieve some of that anxiety. (If stress is often getting in the way of “normal” life, you may want to consider going to a professional counselor for help.)
Do something. Sitting still and thinking, thinking, thinking will just add to the stress you’re feeling. Getting something–anything!–done can get you moving in the right direction and lower the stress you’re feeling.
Change your thinking. It doesn’t do you any good to ruminate on all of the things you aren’t doing right today or the things you’ve done wrong in the past. You need to catch those thoughts and focus on what you can do right now. Choose to think positively about the future, changing one thought at a time.
None of us can escape stress. It’s an inevitable part of life.
What we can do is learn coping skills and practice so we get better at handling stress.
Just think of the peace we can have if we get better at noticing stress and taking steps to relieve it right away instead of letting it turn into a crisis.
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3 NIV)
Do you let stress build until it paralyzes you? How can focusing on God help you to handle stress in healthy ways?
* This feels like a good time to add a link to my “Christmas Stress Song” video on YouTube. I hope it helps you deal with some of the stress of the Christmas season.
