I lost something special this week.
My favorite Black Hills Gold earrings are no longer a pair. I wore the jewelry while I showered and caught one with the towel as I was drying off. I heard it hit the floor, and I even rescued the back of it—still behind my ear. I couldn’t see the earring on the floor, but I wasn’t too worried. This had happened countless times before and I had always managed to find the tiny piece of metal.
The earrings were special to me because they were one of the first gifts Gary ever gave me after we started dating. He gave me the heart necklace on Valentine’s Day and the heart earrings on my birthday a few weeks later.
I thought I had lost them for good once before. When the kids were quite young, we went to an event at Camp Geneva in Holland, Michigan. I thought I had lost one in their pool. We searched all over and reported it to the staff, asking them to contact us if it showed up.
I cried as we drove home because I felt so bad that I had lost something so special to me. I berated myself for my carelessness and kept rehearsing all kinds of negative thoughts about myself.
Imagine my surprise when I got undressed later that night and the earring fell to the floor as I took off my underwear. My favorite earring was back.
I was hoping for the same kind of outcome this time. A little searching and my jewelry would be found. But this time it didn’t happen. I looked all over the floor. I looked under the vanity. I checked behind the toilet. I emptied out the garbage can. I stuck my hand down the floor vent. I took the cover off the drain in the shower.
No luck. It was gone.
But this time, thirty-two years after I received those special earrings, I didn’t cry.
I felt terrible, of course. I wished I would have taken them out before I showered. But I didn’t berate and punish myself for my mistake. (It also helped that Gary didn’t do either of those things when he heard that I had dropped it. He helped look, but he didn’t get upset with me.)
I had to accept my loss and move on. It would have done me no good to cry and mope around my parents’ house for the rest of our visit. I did everything I could and then I had to let it go.
We have to learn to do that in many areas of our lives.
Life throws us all kinds of losses.
We can lose easy things like earrings, car keys, and remotes.
We can lose harder things like money, time, and job opportunities.
We can lose unthinkable things like health, friendships, and family members.
In all of those things, we have to get to a place of acceptance before we can find contentment. Of course, we’ll grieve some losses more than others. The pain of the loss may never completely go away, but God can give us the strength we need to get to a place of acceptance and the ability to keep living in spite of the loss.
I’ve accepted this loss, but I think I’ll go check my underwear one more time.
“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:12–13 NIV)
Do you handle losses well? How can focusing on God help you to accept a loss—whether it’s big or small—and move on in life?
