Tag: John 10:10

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Talking about Suicide

We’re coming to the end of National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. It’s good to have a special month to get the word out and make people aware of the statistics and encourage them to get help (or help others), but let’s not let the conversation end when we hit October first.

Let’s keep talking about suicide. Oh, I know it’s an uncomfortable topic. I know it’s easier to push it aside and pretend everyone is fine.

Everyone is not fine. If you keep your eyes and ears open, you just may have an opportunity to talk to someone about suicide.

If you see drastic changes in behavior for a friend or family member (especially in their sleeping, eating, and mood), it’s probably time to have a tough conversation with them and ask if they’ve been thinking about suicide. It won’t give them the idea or push them to do it, but if they have been thinking about it, your question may bring relief and help.

If you see someone giving away their possessions, that could be a sign that they’re making plans to die by suicide. Ask them about it.

If you have been thinking more and more often about ending your own life, it’s time to get help.*

We can live full and rich lives, even if we have been diagnosed with a mental illness. A big part of staying healthy is to keep talking. Keep talking with your doctor. Keep talking with your family. Keep talking with your friends.

It just may save a life.

“The thief [Satan] comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10 NIV)

Have you ever talked with someone about suicide? How can focusing on God give you the courage to bring it up if you’re worried about someone?

*If you are having thoughts of suicide, please get help! You can call or text 988 (a suicide and crisis lifeline). Another place to get help is freshhope.us (you can find a support group near you, join an online group, or check out their other resources).

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Self-Sabotage

It happens all the time.

I make a plan, set a goal, or say I’m going to do something and it goes well for a while. I see progress and feel great as I see success in sight.

But then, I do something to sabotage myself.

I stay away from snacks for a few days and my pants start to feel a little looser…and then I feed my face constantly for a day – just because I can.

I open up my laptop and work daily on my book…and then I get scared and stop writing.

I start to feel confident about editing and take on new clients…and then I entertain thoughts of quitting just because I’m scared I’ll miss something.

That’s what happened yesterday as I finished up an editing project. I started crying and blurted out all of my fears to Gary (my patient, wise husband who has had many similar conversations with me over the years). He talked me down and reminded me that feeling that anxiety is pretty normal.

Almost everyone deals with it to some extent. He reminded me that perfect is not possible, and the people who think they’re perfect are the ones we usually can’t stand to be around. They’re full of arrogance.

Feeling that tension about doing our best keeps us humble. Pushing on through those fears gets us to where we want to go.

He’s right (he almost always is!).

God says in His word that He wants us to live an abundant life. He wants us to follow Him and love Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. He tells us to love others. We can’t do any of those things well if we keep practicing self-sabotage.

John 10:10 in the ESV says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

Satan loves it when we panic and pull away from something good just because we’re scared. He’ll do anything to keep us stuck in our self-sabotaging ruts because he knows how damaging it would be for him if we actually accomplished our goals.

So let’s get to the bottom of why we’re doing these things. Let’s get to the root of it and learn ways to fight past those feelings and stay on the path to success.

It takes hard work to stop self-sabotaging, but it’s worth it. Hopefully we can do it less and less as the years go by and we’ll see more of the successful outcomes we dream about.

“ ‘But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back [self-sabotages?].’ But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.” (Hebrews 10:38-39 NIV – brackets mine)

Do you often self-sabotage? How can focusing on God help you to stop this and live more abundantly?

*If you struggle with this problem, here are a couple of great resources with more insights and suggestions for combating self-sabotage:

6 Reasons Why We Self-Sabotage (article on thriveglobal.com)

Quick Win: Stop Self-Sabotaging (on the Do It Scared Podcast with Ruth Soukup)

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Suicide

We don’t like to think about things like suicide, do we?

It’s so dark and scary and…depressing.

Even if your life hasn’t been touched personally by a family member’s suicide, most of us have been saddened to hear about someone’s suicide in the towns where we live or by celebrities like actor Robin Williams, designer Kate Spade, and chef Anthony Bourdain.

And then there are those of us who have actually contemplated ending our own lives.

I got to that place back in 2014 when I became clinically depressed and could find absolutely no hope in life. I was still a Christian and I knew where my hope should be found, but I was too sick to grab hold of that hope and be happy.

Thankfully, I was able to talk to my husband about those frightening thoughts and he took me to the hospital where I could be safe until I felt better.

While I was there I met other patients, people who had actually attempted suicide. I’m so glad they didn’t succeed. We talked and laughed and learned together about our illnesses during our stay. We all had families that loved us and wanted us healthy again.

Since that time, I have worked hard at making sure I do the things I need to do to stay healthy emotionally. If I feel myself starting to get into that downward spiral, I’m quick to reach out to my husband or a friend so I don’t get too far away from hope.

That’s why I want to focus on suicide this week.

Maybe you have a family member or friend who struggles with depression. Watch for the warning signs that their depression is getting worse and reach out to help them before it gets too bad.

Maybe you deal with depression at times. Don’t settle for feeling bad most of the time. You may have gotten so used to it that you think it’s just normal for you. It doesn’t have to be! Medications, counseling, exercise, and changing the way you think and act can all lead to a happier, more fulfilling life. 

Please don’t give up! Talk to someone, reach out to anyone. Hopefully you have a supportive friend or family member, but if you don’t, you can always call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or text CONNECT to 741741 at the Crisis Text Line

I’m not a professional, but you’re also welcome to talk to me by email (robynmulder @ hotmail.com) or a private message on Facebook.

We can do this hard thing…this amazing thing called Life…if we just don’t give up.

“The thief [Satan] comes only to kill and steal and destroy; I [Jesus] have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10 NIV – brackets added)

Have you ever had suicidal thoughts? How can focusing on God help you to get support and embrace life again?