I have good news and bad news this week.
The good news is that I’ve been writing steadily on my depression book the last couple of weeks. I’m seeing my word count go up as I put in the work.
The bad news is that I seem to be getting more confused as I write. I thought this was going to be a helpful book that would tell my own depression story and give people the tools they need to stay healthy emotionally. As I’ve been writing, I’m afraid I’m coming up with more questions than answers.
Telling my story isn’t a problem, but all of the questions come up as I’m trying to write the rest of it.
Can I really suggest solutions to people whose situations are vastly different from mine? Isn’t that arrogant?
Are there some people who can’t ever recover from a mental illness?
When I sit down to write each day, I find myself typing out these questions and others in my manuscript. All of those questions almost make me want to give up the project.
It’s not just writing. I’m hoping you can see where you might experience this in many areas of your life.
You start a new romantic relationship. (Will he/she really love me? How can I trust this person? What if this doesn’t work out?)
You and your spouse decide to have a baby. (What if I can’t handle childbirth? Should we homeschool or send him to public school? What if she ends up living with us until she’s thirty?)
You decide to change jobs. (Can I learn the new computer software they use? What if I can’t stand my coworkers? How am I going to learn all this stuff?)
You decide to start a new hobby. (Can I really learn something new at my age? Where do I get my supplies? Who can teach me to do this?)
It’s tempting to want to quit when you have more questions than answers. It feels safer to pull back to what you know, the things you’re sure about. But nothing ever gets done that way. We stay stuck in our familiar ruts and we miss out. Others may miss out on something we have to offer, too.
We have to press on in spite of the questions. Maybe even because of the questions.
Those questions may lead us to answers. Those questions may help us gain clarity and direction for the goal we’re pursuing.
It may be a little confusing and messy while we’re in the middle of that question stage of our endeavors, but if we push on through we’ll eventually find ourselves with more answers than questions. And that will feel pretty great.
“If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.” (James 1:5-8 The Message)
Do you have more questions than answers in some area of life? How can focusing on God help you to move ahead anyway?