Tag: Hope

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Staying Away from the Edge

As you probably know by now, in 2014 I went through a severe bout with depression. Depression and anxiety robbed me of all hope and sent me to the hospital. I’m so thankful for the help I got there.

Now I have joy, confidence, and hope most days, but the negatives often try to creep back in. It catches me off guard and discourages me so much. I’m learning to catch those thoughts and turn them around so that it doesn’t turn into a depression that debilitates me, but it is often difficult.

I’d like to focus on “staying away from the edge” in this week’s post. Have you ever traveled somewhere and experienced that moment of vertigo when you are overlooking some beautiful vista? Niagara Falls, The Grand Canyon, a hike in the mountains with a deep ravine next to your footpath? You realize that one false step could send you plummeting to your death. If you are wise, you make sure you are staying away from the edge so you are safe.

I think we can also do that emotionally. Mental illness can mean the death of us if we keep going in spite of all of the danger signs and fall over the figurative edge. I’d like to explore some of the ways we can stay away from the edge when it comes to our mental health. I’m sure you’ve read some of my posts that deal with that already, but I’ll share some of the ways I do that (again) in an upcoming post.

This time, I’d like to ask for your help. Would you be willing to share some of the ways you “stay away from the edge” as you live with a mental health diagnosis?

 Email me at robyn@robynmulder.com or send me a message on Facebook. I would love to hear from you and share some of your ideas with others who are also working to maintain their mental health. Please share this post with anyone who may also be struggling.

Most of all, please get help if you are teetering on the edge and you don’t feel like it’s worth it to get back to safe footing. Talk to your family, friends, or your doctor. You can also call or text the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline if you need help.

Let’s all make sure we’re staying away from the edge.

“…I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life,….” (Deuteronomy 30:19–20 NIV)

Do you ever feel like you might go over the edge? How can focusing on God help you stay away from the edge and enjoy a fulfilling life in spite of a mental health diagnosis?

© 2016 (and tweaked in 2023) Robyn Mulder

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Staying

It’s the final day of September.

We’ve been focusing on National Suicide Prevention Awareness Month. I almost skipped on to a new topic this week, but I think I’ll share a closing thought as we think about suicide prevention.

Stay.

I know life is painful sometimes. It can be frustrating and scary and uncertain.

People often try to convince someone not to take their own life by saying, “Stay for those who love you.” I know they mean well, but that just heaps more guilt on someone who is hurting and has gotten so sick that they can’t see another way out.

I want to encourage you to stay for yourself.

Depression is a highly treatable illness. Even if you can’t feel hope right now, if you hang on and get help you will eventually feel better.

For me, I want to stay because I don’t want to miss out on all of the good things in life.

Sunrises and sunsets.

Mountains and oceans.

A long hike in the woods.

Hauntingly beautiful musicals.

Flocks of birds soaring overhead.

Laughter and tears shared with the ones I love.

The list could go on and on and on. When I focus on those things, it makes it easier to hold on through the hard times.

It might help to hear the stories of people who thought they wanted to die but changed their minds immediately after attempting to die by suicide.

Kevin Hines jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco. He felt instant regret as he fell. Miraculously, he survived the fall and went on to become a writer and speaker. You can find lots of info and videos online, and check out his book Cracked, Not Broken: Surviving and Thriving After a Suicide Attempt.

Kristen Jane Anderson wrote Life, In Spite of Me: Extraordinary Hope After a Fatal Choice (with Tricia Goyer) after she attempted to die by suicide by lying down on a set of train tracks. She lost her legs, but she inspires so many people with her story.

The month of September is over, but the need to prevent suicide will continue. Check in on your friends and family, reach out to others if you’re struggling (you can always call or text to 988), and never give up hope.

Stay.

“Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be. How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you.” (Psalm 139:16–18 NIV)

What are the good things in life that help you decide to stay? How can focusing on God help you never give up hope?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on the Time We Have Left

No one really knows how much time they have left.

Last week Gary and I got the shocking news that dear friends of ours were killed in a car/train accident. We held each other and cried for our loss, and then we cried some more when we thought about their family. Three children and their spouses. Nine precious grandchildren. How could they go on without Joel and Rosemary?

Joel and Rosemary Sult – Allison, Iowa

But they will go on. We all will. We can rejoice that our friends knew and loved the Lord and they’re now in heaven. We’ll cry, but we can also laugh when we remember their sense of humor, smile when we remember their kindness, and chuckle when we think of Joel singing barbershop tags with the angels.

It’s sobering when something like this happens. It reminds the rest of us that we don’t really know how much time we have left. Our lives could be over in the blink of an eye, or we could live well past one hundred. Only God knows when we’ll join him someday.

For now, we need to live for him, making the most of every day.

God has plans for us. He has a purpose for each of our lives. The Holy Spirit will show us those plans and purposes if we talk to him and choose to listen. He’ll also give us the wisdom and strength to do the things God has for us in the years we have left.

Our friends lived a full and rich life. They accomplished so much in the time they had here on this earth. We still can’t believe they’re gone, but we’re so glad we had the chance to know them and love them.

May all of us make the most of each day we have left.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12 NIV)

Are you tempted to live as if you had all the time in the world? How can focusing on God help you prioritize the plans he has for you in the time you have left?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Saving Up Encouragement

It’s safe to say that everyone experiences highs and lows in life. There’s an ebb and flow that’s inevitable. We can count on it just like the waves that shape the shorelines of the world’s oceans and big lakes.

If you’re like me, you may be one of the many people who struggle to find hope when the lows come. The tide goes out and you feel dragged from the familiar to the uncertain.

When times like that come, it might help to have some encouragement saved up. In my own life, there are some things I cling to when I’m tempted to give up.

There’s the hug and the simple “You’re so brave” a friend said when she saw me after my bout with major depression. That gives me the will to try when things seem hopeless.

I remember an established author writing “You’re an excellent writer!” in the margin of a project I sent her to look at. That keeps me going when I’m tempted to quit writing.

I see the look of love and concern on my husband’s face when I start talking about whether life is really worth it. I borrow some of his hope and muster up the will to find my purpose again.

These are all things in my head, but I’m wondering if it might be good to write them down and put them somewhere close. I could save them in a pretty box, a file folder, or a special file on my computer. That could be the place I run to when the dark times come. Reading over reminders of people’s words of encouragement could get me through the hard days.

I could sprinkle in special verses to remind me of God’s love and care, too:

Deuteronomy 31:6, Psalm 27:12, Proverbs 3:5–6, Isaiah 40:31, Isaiah 41:10, Lamentations 3:22–23, John 4:18, Romans 8:38–39, Romans 15:13, Philippians 4:13.

Saving up encouragement for the hard times just might be the thing that keeps me from drowning when the undertow of life threatens to drag me under.

I hope you’ll find a way to save up encouragement, too. Here’s one to get you started:

Life is hard sometimes, but you can do this! Don’t give up. You are loved!

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16–18)

Do you have a special place where you can save up encouragement? How can focusing on God help you to hang on during the hard times?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Hoarding Hope

(I made this graphic with the idea of hoarding the bunch of flowers and only
giving out one paltry rose instead of showering others with the beautiful blooms)

“Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged.” (Hebrews 6:17-18 NIV)

We have to take hold of the hope set before us. Have you ever thought about that?

I feel like I’ve always seen hope as something that comes and goes in my life, something I had very little control over.

Something bad happens. There goes my hope.

Something good happens. My hope comes back.

To think that we have a choice to reach out and take hold of hope is pretty amazing. Hope is set before us, but it’s up to us to take hold of it.

When we finally do take hold of it, we sometimes go overboard and hoard it. We clutch it to our chests and think we’ll lose it if we dare give any of it away.

Nothing could be further from the truth. Just look at this verse:

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV)

My NIV Life Application Study Bible says that being comforted can also mean receiving strength, encouragement, and hope to deal with our troubles.

I write often about mental health. When I think about all of the people out there in this great big world living with mental illness, my heart just aches. As a Christian, I have so much hope, and I want to pass it on to as many people as I can. (*I’ve listed a few resources right after this blog post.)

Perhaps you don’t deal with mental illness, but maybe there is something you’ve gone through and God has comforted you and given you hope.

You’ve lived through cancer.

You’ve experienced infertility.

You’ve suffered through the pain of divorce.

You’ve cried and prayed about a wayward child.

You’ve lost a grandparent, a parent, a child, or a friend.

Are we doing everything we can to comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we have been given, or are we hoarding hope?

Look for ways to share your hope with someone who needs it. Ask God to show you someone who is going through the same thing you experienced. They need hope.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” (Hebrews 6:19 NIV)

Have you taken hold of the hope set before you? How can focusing on God help you to share that hope with the people who need it?

*Here are a few resources for people dealing with mental illness:

http://www.freshhope.us/ – The website of Fresh Hope. Visit their site to find a Fresh Hope support group in your area (peer-led groups for those with a diagnosis and also their loved ones), blog posts, resources for pastors, and even info about an online support group for those who don’t have a Fresh Hope group meeting in their area. Fresh Hope is one of the best things I do to make sure I’m staying healthy emotionally.

http://freshhopeformentalhealth.com/ – Fresh Hope’s podcast. Check it out to hear great advice about dealing with a mental health challenge, as well as interviews with people in the mental health field.

https://liferecoverygroups.com/ – I just discovered Life Recovery this week and it looks like a wonderful resource. There is a Bible you can work through on your own, or you can find a group to join (or start) near you.

By the way…if you liked this post, I would really appreciate it if you would click one of the buttons below and share it on social media. (I just added them, so I hope they work!) It’s one way you can share your hope with others! Thanks.

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Terrific Tuesday: Let’s Focus on Spring

Yes, it’s Tuesday. I could probably just skip a post and catch up this Friday, but I decided to write a short one just to remind you of spring and all of the wonderful possibilities it brings.

I chose a snowy pic for my graphic because it seemed fitting for the weird weather we’ve “enjoyed” lately. While Gary and I were traveling last week, we missed a snowstorm back here in Platte that dumped about fourteen inches of snow. In April! Thankfully, most of it had melted by the time we got home.

No matter what kind of spring you’re having, I hope you will take time to notice the trees budding, the flowers blooming, the birds chirping, and the world emerging from months of being cooped up indoors.

Spring seems to bring more hope to our hearts, doesn’t it? We see more sunshine and better weather and we just feel better.

As we get ready for Easter this Sunday, I want to also remind you that it can be “spring” in your soul. Thinking about and celebrating Christ’s resurrection reminds us of the living hope we have in him. No matter what kind of “weather” you’ve been enduring in your heart, you need to hold on to the hope you have in Jesus.

The dark times you may have experienced recently can give way to new discoveries in the light of God’s love. God may show you new growth in your life that you couldn’t notice during the winter of your soul.

Praying that God will do amazing new things in your life this spring.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,…” (1 Peter 1:3 NIV)

Have you had a long, hard winter? How can focusing on God help you to experience new growth this spring?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on the Real Issue

We’re getting back to talking about mental health this week, but I want to come at it from a different angle than I did a few weeks ago. I told you, of course, about the symptoms and some possible causes, but that’s not really what you want to see here, is it?

I mean, you could google those things and get lots of facts about depression and other mental illnesses. To tell you the truth, that’s what I did while writing those posts. It’s informative, but you can get information like that from many different places online.

What I’d like to share here each week is more personal. It’s not as cut and dried because my experience with depression is my experience. If you have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, or some other mental illness, it won’t look the same as mine or anyone else’s.

That’s one of the worst things about mental illness. Most of the time others have no idea someone is suffering. It’s kind of like the tree in my graphic for this week. It looks fine, right?

But what if I show it to you from another angle?

Now you can see the problem, can’t you? A huge section of the tree is missing, cut away from the power lines.

That’s the real issue with mental illness. So much of it is internal. There’s a darkness, a fear, a hopelessness that can’t be seen from the outside until the illness gets so bad that the person can no longer hide it.

We have to get better at dealing with mental illness.

People who suffer have to speak up and let someone know how they’re feeling before it gets to be a crisis.

Loved ones need to be brave and talk to their spouse, child, parent, or friend when they notice changes in that person’s mood or behavior.

Christians need to live their lives remembering the hope they have in Jesus Christ and reminding others of that hope when all seems dark.

You have no idea what someone is struggling with inside, so be as kind as you can as often as you can. Just like my funky tree, remember that the real issue is internal.

“For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently.” (Romans 8:24-25 NIV)

Do you often struggle internally? How can focusing on God help you to think better or get the help you need so your mental health can improve? If you don’t struggle, how can you show more compassion to those who do?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Finding Hope

Grand Canyon for blog

I’m coming back to one of my frequent themes this week: Hope.

I hope no one minds. Oops, see what I did there?

We throw that word “hope” around pretty casually: I hope it doesn’t snow tomorrow. I hope she calls me back. I hope I don’t gain a pound from eating this ice cream.

Hope is so much more than just wishing for something. The modern definition is “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen,” but the archaic meaning is “a feeling of trust.”

That’s the meaning of hope we need to cling to. We can wish all we want for certain things to happen, but that feeling of trust is what gets us through, even when the thing we’re hoping for doesn’t happen.

Hope (that feeling of trust) helps us keep getting up in the morning when life seems too hard.

Hope helps us to keep praying for someone we love, even when we don’t see the results we’re hoping for.

Hope lets us keep going, day after day, sure of our salvation in Christ even when we aren’t sure where the path will take us in life.

I chose a picture of one of my favorite places for my graphic this week: The Grand Canyon. That beautiful, wild, gigantic place often reminds me of the hope we have to hold onto. Whether you’re going down or coming back up, there are times when you think you’ll never reach the end. You hike along the switchbacks, round a corner, and realize you still can’t see your destination. You heave a sigh and keep putting one foot in front of the other. And eventually, without fail, you make it because you didn’t stop and give up.

That’s what hope means to me. It’s trusting deeply in the LORD and refusing to give up. Hope is getting up every day. Hope is saying a prayer and moving ahead (sometimes quickly and sometimes painfully slow).

Hope hangs on tight and never lets go.

“May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, LORD, is in you. (Psalm 25:21 NIV)

Do you have a hard time holding onto hope? How can focusing on God help you to hope in Him and not give up?

*Gary and I spoke in church about our experience with anxiety and depression this past Sunday at our church. We titled it “Finding Hope” (you can watch it on YouTube) and also told people about the Fresh Hope support group which will begin here in Platte on Monday, January 4 at 7:00 p.m. at First Reformed Church (101 N Main St – use East doors). If you live in the area and want support and encouragement for your mental health, please come check it out!