Last week I attended an event called “Stronger Together: Building Assets for Brookings, A Day for Suicide Prevention.” It was an informative, inspiring day of hearing from speakers and organizations who want to provide help for those with a mental health diagnosis or substance abuse problem in our part of South Dakota.
I was reminded of how important it is to take advantage of community resources when you are dealing with suicidal thoughts or an addiction. Too often, we isolate ourselves and look inward when we are struggling. Reaching out can get us back to a healthy place.
Here are a few resources to check out. Don’t wait until you or someone you love is in crisis. Get familiar with them now so you know where to go when you need help.
*The Helpline Center (helplinecenter.org) – Visit 211.org or dial 211 in your state to get directed to your local resources in your community.
*988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (988lifeline.org) – Call, text, or chat with a mental health professional (free and confidential).
*American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (afsp.org) – Whether you’re thinking about suicide or you’ve lost someone to suicide, this organization can help.
*Fresh Hope (freshhope.us) – Christian peer-led support groups for those with a mental health diagnosis and/or their loved ones. We have a group that meets here in Volga the 2nd and 4th Mondays of the month. You can email me for more info (robyn@robynmulder.com) or visit Fresh Hope’s website to find a group near you. They even have groups that meet online.
Dealing with mental illness doesn’t have to be a lonely endeavor. Check out these resources and get connected with a group or resource that will help you feel supported through the ups and downs of your illness. There is help and there is hope!
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24–25 NIV)
Do you try to go it alone when it comes to your mental health? Consider finding some community groups or resources that can help. How can focusing on God help you improve your health?
Last week I wrote about an intense experience I was diving into for the weekend (click here if you missed it).
The TEC (Teens Encounter Christ) weekend was just as special as I had imagined. We ended up having ten teens go through the weekend as candidates, and the rest of us did all we could to make sure they had a wonderful time of spiritual growth.
I have to admit that I had my own struggles during the weekend.
Thursday night went fine as we finished getting everything ready.
On Friday morning I did the devotions for our team of nine, pointing out how important it is to catch our thoughts (2 Corinthians 10:5) and make sure we’re replacing any negatives with things that are excellent and true (Philippians 4:8).
And then…I proceeded to go through the entire day entertaining all sorts of pessimistic thoughts!
“They don’t really need me on this team.” “I’m too quiet.” “I wish I could be more like _______.” “What are they thinking about me?” “They don’t really know me, and they probably don’t like me.” “I came into this late. I shouldn’t have signed up.”
I fought back tears as the day ended, and my thoughts jumped to even more negative conclusions. “This is just too hard!” “I’m too quiet and awkward. I shouldn’t ever do things like this.” “Life is easier if I just do it alone.”
Those thoughts, my friend, are lies from the devil himself.
Thankfully, I did a bit of reflection before I went to bed that night, and in the morning I asked God to help me turn those thoughts around. (I know I could have done that on Friday, but better late than never!)
Saturday and Sunday were much more positive. Instead of looking at “me, me, me” and ruminating on how I was doing and what everyone was thinking about me, I started to think about others.
I concentrated on the amazing things God was doing in the lives of every person involved at TEC that weekend. The care people showed for others. The sacrifice each person made to be there. The love that was evident everywhere you looked.
I still felt awkward at times, but I tried to laugh off my awkwardness.
I am a pretty quiet person, but I felt more peaceful about it (as opposed to the constant churning I felt inside on Friday).
I like doing things by myself, but I finished the weekend completely convinced of the importance of community. We grow spiritually when we work together, pray together, serve together, laugh together, and cry together.
I think I’ll sign up to help again in November.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24–25 NIV)
Do you prefer doing things on your own, or do you value community? How can focusing on God help you to grow as you spend time with other believers?
Do you ever feel uncomfortable during fellowship time after church? I sometimes do.
I look around the room at all of these people – people I’ve grown to know and love over this past year – and I get a bit anxious. Who do I talk to? If I go up and start talking with that group of people over there, will that other group of people think I’m snubbing them? If I stand alone, will everyone pity me? If I go up and join a group that’s already talking, will they have to change what they’re talking about to include me?
It’s silly, but it happens. And I’m guessing it’s not just me.
Sure, there are extroverts that thrive on connecting with as many people as they can talk to on a Sunday morning.
But then there are the introverts. We thrive on time alone, even if we enjoy talking with others sometimes. So some Sundays will be fine and we’ll chat with quite a few people during fellowship time. And there will be some Sundays when we look around and decide to head for the door.
Maybe just talking about it here will make it a bit easier.
After all, even Paul felt anxiety: “Besides everything else, I have a daily burden because of my anxiety about all the churches. ” (2 Corinthians 11:28 International Standard Version)
We can cut ourselves some slack and realize there will be times when we feel anxious.
We can show others lots of grace when we see them heading for the door instead of staying to talk during fellowship time. Some weeks, they just might not be able to handle the uncertainty of being in the crowd.
So, should we do away with fellowship time after church? Should we all just head for the comforts of home and bypass the possibly awkward interactions with others?
I think not, because there are many good things that happen during fellowship time.
Visitors are greeted (hopefully!) and introduced to people during this time.
Children play with their friends right by the oldest members of the church, and they are blessed just by seeing each other in this special place.
Often, hugs or tears are shared as people talk about something they’re going through, and they are encouraged and strengthened as they realize someone cares.
If you sometimes feel a bit anxious during fellowship time, here are a few things you can try:
Look around and find someone who is standing alone. They may be feeling a little of the anxiety you’re experiencing and will welcome having someone to talk to.
Try to develop a “There you are!” attitude, instead of a “Here I am!” mindset. “Here I am!” begs for people to notice us. We get upset and offended when they don’t go out of their way to connect with us. A “There you are!” attitude looks for someone who needs some love, encouragement, and connection.
Pray for the people you see all around you. Maybe you won’t even mind standing alone if you can learn to just enjoy watching others interacting while you silently pray for them by name.
Remember that everyone feels a little social anxiety at times. Take a deep breath, smile, and start talking to someone. You just might feel your anxiety disappear as you get to know your fellow church members better.
(And if none of those ideas work, you can always just head for the door and see if next week feels better!)
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV)
Do you ever feel anxious during fellowship time at church? How can focusing on God help you to see the great benefits of spending time with other believers after the worship service?
I attended the Northwestern Christian Writers Conference last weekend in St. Paul, Minnesota. I probably could have squeezed in some time to blog on Focus Friday, but I didn’t. And, to be honest, I almost forgot that I hadn’t blogged over the weekend. I thought of it again this morning and decided to do a quick post tonight.
Let’s focus on connecting, shall we?
On the way to St. Paul I stopped to chat and have lunch with my friend Nancy in Edgerton, MN. She likes to write, too, and we had a great time reconnecting.
I tried to stop and connect with another couple in Edgerton, but they weren’t home. I left a note under their mat and left town. Ten minutes down the road, they called me, disappointed that we hadn’t connected. We chatted for a few minutes and promised to see each other sometime soon.
When I got to St. Paul, I met my roommate at the hotel. Jenny and I had been online acquaintances in Write That Book (Tricia Goyer’s Facebook subscription group), but it was so good to meet in person and start to share about our writing journeys and experience the conference together.
At the conference, I got to meet Robin Jones Gunn in person, say hi to my friend Ann Kroeker, and pitch my book idea to agent Cynthia Ruchti (I had already told her about it two years ago, but she graciously listened to me again and invited me to send her the proposal when I finish it).
I met lots of new people and even saw a couple of friends I knew from when I attended the Cedar Falls Christian Writers Conference in years past.
At lunchtime, I sat down on a bench to eat my box lunch and was joined by another woman on the next bench. We started talking and she turned out to be from a town in South Dakota about a half hour from me. Only God could make that connection out of the hundreds of people attending the conference.
At the end of the conference, I met another Write That Book member and Jenny and I were invited out to eat with Gail and her group of writer friends. It was so good to talk shop and hear about everyone’s hopes and dreams as far as their writing goes.
(Jenny is on the far left and Gail is sitting just to my right – so nice to meet her friends, too!)
On the way home, God led me to stop and worship at New Creation Church in North Mankato, MN. I was blessed by their friendliness and the inspiring worship service (first in English, and then I stayed for the Spanish service).
I met my best friend from college at McDonald’s in Luverne, MN. Barb and I caught up on our kids, our jobs, and so much more. Then another friend from college showed up by chance and we talked for a while. When we all stood up to leave, I noticed a lady standing close to me… “Carol!” It was the friend I had tried to stop and see in Edgerton on Friday. She and her husband just happened to be there, so I hugged Barb goodbye and sat and talked with my friends while they ate their lunch.
As I drove the rest of the way home, my heart was so full. All of the connections I had made throughout the weekend–with friends old and new–reminded me of how important relationships are.
I realized, too, that I had connected more with God throughout the weekend than I had been lately at home. The speakers emphasized how much God needs to be a part of our writing process and the reason we write. My roommate and I prayed for our opportunities during the weekend. I saw God in so many ways as I met people and listened to His voice more closely.
I consider myself an introvert, and I like doing things by myself at home, but weekends like this one confirm the fact that we all need each other.
The workshops I went to at the conference gave me knowledge, hope, and inspiration for my writing. Meeting new people and realizing that they could become my friends was exciting. Renewing old friendships felt so good and prompted me to keep reaching out as God directs me, through letters, phone calls, and visits.
When I arrived home, it felt very good to hug all of my boys. They survived a weekend without me, and it was awesome to reconnect with Gary, Blake, and Dylan. Our girls are farther away, but I’m going to make sure I’m connecting with them on a regular basis, too.
Here we all are at Blake’s graduation from Northwestern College in Orange City, Iowa in May.
As all of us connect with God, I believe our connections with others will be deeper and richer. Thanks for connecting with me here, and I pray that your connections will bring you lots of joy in the days ahead.
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV)
Do you enjoy connecting with others, or are you more of a loner?How can focusing on God help you to connect more richly with others?
