Tag: goals

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on How Far We’ve Come

It can be hard to be content with where we’re at in life when dealing with a mental health diagnosis. Anxiety and depression tend to make us feel despair when we can’t do something as well as we’d like.

I noticed that happening lately.

For exercise, I swim at SDSU several times a week. Besides wanting to move my body and stay in shape, I also want to get faster. I’ve competed in a couple of Masters swim meets, and my times have gone down, but they are far from the record holders in my age group. Those times are about twice as fast as I can swim. That’s discouraging.

So, should I quit swimming? Should I stop competing at the swim meets? No. I need to keep going and concentrate on how much I’ve improved since I started swimming regularly in January 2022. When I first started, I couldn’t swim more than about four lengths of the pool before I had to stop and rest. Now I can sometimes swim twenty lengths without stopping. I couldn’t swim the butterfly stroke at first, but now I’ve been adding it to my workouts and I can do it. It still needs work, but my core is stronger and I can feel my butterfly getting better.

Instead of focusing on how far I have to go, it’s more encouraging to look how far I’ve come. With more time and practice, I’ll get closer to my goals. I may never set a record in swimming, but I can enjoy the progress I make as I work hard and improve.

I can also see improvements in my confidence levels. At times I get frustrated because I get scared and hold back instead of stating my opinion or offering my advice. I’d like to exude confidence and charisma, but my uncertainty wins out way too often. I can focus on that, or I can look back and see how far I’ve come in this area.

I can remember going to a prayer group at my church when I was in high school. I never dared to pray out loud, but I attended faithfully. Later, after Gary and I got married, I went to a weekly women’s Bible study and I would berate myself when I got home because I hadn’t said a single word. I don’t know what those women thought of me, but I was soaking up knowledge from the study and from the things I heard other women share.

Over the years, I’ve gradually gained more confidence. Now I can lead Bible studies, give talks at Mother’s Day programs and other events, and I can talk to people much more easily than when I was in high school and college. I may never give a TED talk, but look how far I’ve come!

If you’re disappointed because you haven’t reached some target in life, try to slow down and focus on little improvements you’ve made over the years. You can make some plans for how you can possibly reach your goal, but show yourself lots of grace while you work hard and move forward. Don’t be dismayed at how far you have to go. Look how far you’ve come!

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” (Proverbs 16:9 NIV)

Do you look forward and feel despair about how far you have to go before you reach a certain goal? How can focusing on God help you move forward in faith, being grateful for how far you’ve come?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Confidence

It seems like so many people have a word for the year. One word to summarize what they want to focus on as they go through the next twelve months.

I’ve done that in the past, but I haven’t for the last several years. Lately, though, I’ve been sensing that the Lord wants me to practice having confidence this year.

That’s scary! It’s much easier to move through life in uncertainty, letting other people and life’s situations determine what I do and how I feel. Choosing confidence will more than likely put me in some situations that are out of my comfort zone. Choosing confidence might mean I have to disappoint someone if I confidently turn down their request. Choosing confidence feels like I’ll have to throw away all my excuses for why I haven’t accomplished certain goals.

I’m tempted to list those goals here, but I’m not going to do that. If you’ve been reading my blog for any length of time, you can probably think of a few things I’ve mentioned over the years. (Years!) No, I’m going to make my own list and prayerfully think about next steps for each of those goals.

Maybe you have something you’ve been avoiding because you lack the confidence to tackle it. I encourage you (and me) to move ahead with courage.

The Lord is with us, and he’ll help us accomplish whatever he’s called us to do. We can be confident as we go through each day, knowing he’ll never leave us alone. Jesus also sent us the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide us. Drawing on the Spirit’s power can fill us with humble confidence.

Like it or not, my word for the year is confidence.* Do you pick a word for the year? Let me know in the comments.

“For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NIV)

Do you have a word for the year? How can focusing on God help you move through the year ahead with intention, whatever your word may be?

*To help me grow in this area, I’ve been reading the excellent book Stand in Confidence: From Sinking in Insecurity to Rising in Your God-Given Identity by Amanda Pittman. I’ll let you know what I’ve learned in a future blog post.

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Fighting Ourselves

There’s been a war going on in my mind lately.

I feel like I’m fighting myself at every turn.

One part of me wants to do something productive. Another part of me wants to scroll social media.

Some days I want to eat healthy and exercise. Other days I want to snack constantly and skip doing any physical activity at all.

Even more disconcerting are the moments when I waffle between hope and despair. The emotionally healthy side of my brain looks forward to new friendships, experiences, and goals. The mentally ill side of my brain tries to squash all hope and attempts to point out all of the possible failures and flaws waiting for me in the future.

Don’t worry. I’m not depressed. But, thankfully, these warring thoughts are a signal for me. When I notice them I can take action to make sure the right side wins.

I’ll give you one little example.

A few weeks ago, I paid to go swimming on five Tuesday and Thursday mornings at the local high school. I figured that would give me a good idea of whether I could possibly compete in a swim meet for adults in April.

The five mornings are done now and I have started fighting myself.

I really enjoy swimming. / I’m so out of shape and slow!

I think I’d have fun competing at the swim meet. / I’ll make a fool of myself!

It’s good for me to have goals and work toward them. / I may as well give up now and forget about swimming!

I fight myself in so many areas of my life. Over the years I’ve learned that whichever side I focus on more is the side that wins. I have to catch the negative thoughts and recognize the lies.

Sometimes there’s a bit of truth in the negative thoughts (see “I’m so out of shape and slow!” above). We can acknowledge the truth, but replace it with thoughts that will get us heading in the right direction (“I’m out of shape and slow, but if I keep practicing I’ll get in shape and it will be fun to see if I can get faster“).

We can’t give up the fight! And we also have to remember that we don’t fight alone. The Holy Spirit can help us choose the thoughts and actions that will be good for us. Other people (family, friends, doctors) can help us when we feel like giving up.

Time to be more deliberate about what I’m thinking and doing. The fight is on and I know I’ll win!

For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. (Galatians 5:17 ESV)

Do you fight yourself in any area of life? How can focusing on God help you win the fight?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Being Brave

Back in July, I wrote a post about being afraid to choose a paint color for my new home office (Click here to read it). I bet some of you have been wondering if I ever moved forward with that project.

Well, I’m happy to report that I did choose a color, and my good friend Michelle helped me paint last Thursday.

Thank you, Michelle!

She started doing the trim work along the ceiling, window, and baseboards, while I started rolling in the other areas.

It was kind of fun to see the walls turn from beige to blue.

After a couple of hours, my friend had to leave. We made plans to finish on Saturday. Before she left, I asked her to show me how she was doing the trim work. She demonstrated the technique with her angled brush.

“Do you think I could do that?” I asked hesitantly.

“Sure! Go ahead! I’m sure you can do it!”

“Okay, maybe I’ll give it a try,” I said as she was leaving.

I grabbed the brush and took a deep breath as I carefully applied paint along the window. So far, so good.

Then I sat down on the floor and went along the baseboard. That went well, too (even though I kept a rag close by to remove some drips once in a while).

I climbed the ladder and tried along the ceiling. I did it!

Working steadily, eventually I had the entire room covered. I checked for thin spots that needed a little more paint and ran my roller over them.

I stood back to my admire our work and loved it. I’m sure it’s not perfect, but I did most of it myself and that felt so good.

Like so many things in life, painting this room took bravery. It would have been so much easier to just leave it the color it was and not try something new.

I have to remember this experience when I’m feeling hesitant about other opportunities.

Holding back may feel safer, but it won’t lead to the sense of accomplishment and pride that comes from being brave.

I’m moving on to my next scary goal. I’m going to be brave, jump in, and do it!

“Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.” (Psalm 31:24 NIV)

Have you been avoiding anything because you’re afraid? How can focusing on God help you to be brave and do it?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Taking Baby Steps

I set a goal on Monday. “I’m going to finish my book proposal by Friday.”

It wasn’t an impossible goal, but I didn’t accomplish it.

As usual, my brain wants to make that mean all sorts of negative things. (I’m a failure. I’ll never get it done. I always do things like this, so why even try?)

I’ve been fighting those thoughts (and losing) for the last couple of days.

Why can’t I focus on what I did get done instead? I spent almost two hours working on it on Tuesday evening (after procrastinating all of Monday and most of Tuesday). I wrote and tweaked parts of it on Wednesday for over an hour.

There were moments when I fell into despair because I didn’t like what I had already written. There were also flashes of hope when I wrote a new paragraph and saw how it might help a reader someday.

As I blog today, I’m choosing to celebrate the baby steps I took this week. I didn’t finish my proposal, but I’m three hours closer to completion. A few more baby steps next week and it might be ready to pass along to an agent.

There are other projects on my heart. It can be overwhelming to think about all of the steps involved in getting them done. Breaking them down into baby steps could help my brain see them as more possible.

We have to remember that there are going to be times in our lives when we race ahead, full of energy and ambition. Then there are those times when things are harder. We don’t have the confidence or energy to run, but even baby steps can keep us moving toward the finish line.

“I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” (Acts 20:24 NIV)

Do you get frustrated because you aren’t getting things done as quickly as you’d like? How can focusing on God help you to move forward—one baby step at a time?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Doing It Anyway

Is anyone else having trouble getting things done lately?*

We have lots of excuses, don’t we? Covid-19, political unrest, stressful family situations, gloomy winter weather, and a mountain of other obligations and distractions can get us down and keep us from accomplishing much of anything.

And then we can add the guilt that washes over us after we’ve snacked all day long and wasted way too much time scrolling through Facebook and watching YouTube videos. (Or so I’ve heard…from a friend.)

Truth is, I almost went to bed without writing this tonight. (I feel like I’ve written that before.) The easiest thing to do is go with our feelings, doing (or not doing) whatever sounds good to us (or doesn’t).

But that’s not what’s best for us. Living that way too often could lead to an undisciplined, lazy attitude that won’t help others and won’t get us where God wants us to go.

So I sat down and started writing. Maybe this week it’s just for me, writing to prove to myself that I can do something even if I don’t really feel like it.

Or maybe it’s for you, friends. Maybe you need someone to remind you that it’s good to do something you planned to do, even when everything inside you says “what’s the use?”

Get up! Do something! (I’m yelling at myself, not any of you.)

We can always go back to the ice cream and the scrolling later, but maybe we’ll feel a little better knowing we did something for a while.

As we push ahead and do things anyway, we’ll gain momentum and see progress toward our goals. We’ll also feel a sense of accomplishment that will help us keep going even when life is difficult.

That’s better than any tasty snack or funny cat video, don’t you think?

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

Are you good at doing things even when you don’t feel like it? Do you get weary and avoid doing what you planned to do? How can focusing on God help you to do things anyway?

*Keep in mind that sometimes a lack of interest in doing things you normally enjoy can be a sign of depression. Talk to your doctor if you go through more than two weeks of feeling down and unable to function well.

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Pressing On through the Struggle

No one ever said life would be easy.

So why do we get upset when things don’t go the way we plan and we struggle?

For years, I thought something was wrong with me if I couldn’t stay “happy” all the time.

The older I get, the more I realize how idealistic that is. No one can be happy constantly. There is an ebb and flow to life. There are ups and downs. There is joy and sadness.

I’m getting more comfortable with that wavering rhythm of life.

I was reassured when I listened to an episode of Hal Elrod’s podcast this week. He talked about feeling overwhelmed and frustrated for a couple of hours one day because of all the things he had to do. He admitted that he made absolutely no progress on any of the things on his to-do list during those hours. When he finally realized what was happening, he was able to take some steps to get back to being productive. (I’ll let you listen to the podcast if you want to know what he did.)

If a famous, successful, highly productive person can have a setback every once in a while, then I shouldn’t be alarmed or ashamed when it happens to me.

The key is to not stay in that state for too long.

Recognize that you’re struggling, acknowledge the situation, take a break if you have to, and then press on.

We can’t accomplish everything on our list in one day, but if we keep pressing on, we’ll see results and be able to achieve many of our goals. Press on, my friends!

“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14 NIV)

Do you get overwhelmed and frustrated easily? How can focusing on God help you to take a deep breath and press on through the struggle?

https://miraclemorning.com/achieve-goals-when-struggling/

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Paddling Hard


I learned a lesson from my daughter this week.

Our kids from Lincoln, Nebraska were here visiting and we went kayaking together on Tuesday morning. We went to a new spot at Pease Creek, which flows into the Missouri River. The wind was stronger than we had anticipated, but after we braved the waves and current of the “creek,” we had an easier time paddling along the opposite shore.

We enjoyed the scenery as we went upstream. Swallows darted around us in several places. We saw a little island and made that our goal. “We’ll go around the island and then the wind will push us back to where we got in.”

Only it didn’t work quite that way. After we got around the island, the wind seemed to have died down. We had to work harder than we had planned as we went back downstream.

We still had a ways to go when I noticed our daughter Erin getting frustrated.

Her kayak kept turning to the right for some strange reason. If she paddled, she was okay, but if she stopped for even a few seconds the front end swung off to the right and she ended up sideways in the waves.

We were close together, and I could see her getting more and more perturbed. She sighed and grumbled. She’d paddle a little and then I watched her kayak slowly turn right again. I felt sorry for her, but I couldn’t really do anything to help her.

I kept going and concentrated on getting my own arms to keep working. I was tired!

All of a sudden I looked ahead and I saw Erin digging her paddle into the water with determination. Gary was still ahead of her, but she had blown by the rest of us and she was getting close to the shore. She was mad and she wanted this kayak trip to be over as soon as possible.

She still seemed a bit ticked when the rest of us pulled up to the beach, but she didn’t take it out on anyone. She helped put the kayaks on the trailer and she was pleasant on the ride back home.

When we talked about it later, she said that was a conscious choice. She was so mad in the water, so she decided to just get to shore as fast as she could. After that she had to choose to let her anger go so she didn’t act like a jerk to the rest of us.

I was impressed and proud of her. And I was also challenged, because way too often when I get frustrated because something isn’t going my way, I just sit and complain. I get mad, but I don’t do anything about it. If the situation gets better, sometimes I still carry the anger with me and take it out on the rest of the family.

How much different life would be if I could practice what I saw Erin do the other day.

When I get angry because I’m veering off course, I can use that anger to fuel my forward motion. I can set my sights on where I want to go, dig in, and paddle hard until I arrive at my destination.

You may have an area of life where you’re frustrated, listing off to the side instead of moving closer to your goal. The Holy Spirit wants to help us, but we have to put in the work necessary to move forward. We can’t just sit still and expect to get where we want to go.

We need to sit at the computer and type if we want to write that article, devotion, or book.

We have to find something else to do when we’re tempted to eat out of boredom or stress.

We have to make time to read and study hard if we want that diploma or degree.

We need to let go of the past and focus on the plans God has for us in the future.

Get mad at the sins and distractions that are hindering your progress. Dig in and ask God to help you figure out the next steps you need to take to move forward. Paddle hard until you accomplish what God is calling you to do.

Get mad! Dig in! Paddle hard!

“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13–14 NIV).

Are you frustrated because it doesn’t seem like you’re getting any closer to your goals? How can focusing on God help you to move forward?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Little Victories

I love Wheel of Fortune.

I can solve most of the puzzles pretty quickly.

I yell at the screen when someone wastes money buying a vowel.

When Gary’s around, I say, “I should be on that show!” He always agrees.

Trouble is, I’ve been saying that for years. And I never took the time to fill out an application online and make a little audition video.

I’m sure it was fear (it usually is). What if I actually go on the show and make a fool of myself? What if I get nervous and can’t solve a single puzzle? What if I say “and” when it’s a crossword puzzle?

So I didn’t apply. That was safer. That was more comfortable. Until it wasn’t.

Lately it started to bother me that I hadn’t applied. After I watched every show, I felt a strange sensation inside. What if they stop asking for contestants? What if Pat and Vanna decide to retire? What if I never even try?

I finally decided I’d waited long enough. I didn’t want to have any regrets about not doing my part to try to get on the show. So last Sunday I had Gary record me doing my little one minute audition and I filled out the online application. (See the video here or down below.)

It’s a little victory!

In this uncertain time, it may seem silly to try out for Wheel of Fortune, but maybe there’s something you’ve been putting off for a long, long time.

Instead of binging on Netflix and scrolling your Facebook feed, maybe you can do something to get a little closer to one of your dreams.

You want to write a book? Take a blank sheet of paper and brainstorm all the ideas you can about your topic.

You dream of visiting a foreign country? Well, that one may have to wait a while, but for now you could take a half hour and research the country’s most popular attractions.

You want to lose some weight? Write down what you’re going to do for exercise every day this week.

You want to get more organized? Set a timer for fifteen minutes and clean out one drawer.

When you get those things done, you can celebrate your little victories. And lots of little victories will eventually lead to some giant wins.

At least that’s what I’m hoping for when I get to the Bonus Round.

“Hard work always pays off; mere talk puts no bread on the table.” (Proverbs 14:23 The Message)

Do you feel defeated right now? How can focusing on God help you to celebrate some little victories and get closer to accomplishing your goals?

What do you think? Do I have a shot?
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Super Saturday: Let’s Focus on Starting the New Year Right

We are entering the final days of 2019.

If you’re like most people, you may be considering resolutions you want to make for the new year.

Or maybe you’re starting to make a list of all of the goals you want to complete in 2020.

I know. I feel it, too. I look at all of the bad habits indulged in this year and I want to resolve to eradicate every single one from my life – by March 1.

I see all of the goals I didn’t complete–and all of the time I wasted–and I want to make a detailed plan to complete every single thing on my list (and maybe add ten more, because I’m sure if I managed my time better I could do them all).

We can’t do that. If we do, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment, failure, and frustration. When we’re focusing on fixing all of our shortcomings and doing all of the things we think we need to do to have a good, successful life, we’re going to end up feeling pressured and agitated when life doesn’t go as planned.

There’s a better place to put our focus. On God.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3 NIV)

When we start there–with our focus on God–we can feel peace as we trust Him and live our lives each day.

When we start the new year with our focus on God, He’ll give us the wisdom we need to decide what habits we need to work on changing – with His help. He’ll help us discern what our goals should be and give us the energy and drive to complete them.

Starting the new year like this will allow us to begin 2020 with joy in our hearts, excited about all of the opportunities and possibilities the year will bring, instead of weighed down with all of our own demands and expectations.

Now that’s a good way to start.

Happy New Year!

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13 NIV)

Are you excited about the new year, or are you stressed about what you “should” do in 2020? How can focusing on God help you to begin the new year well and enjoy the inevitable ups and downs 2020 will bring?