Tag: Focus Friday

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Fighting Ourselves

I had a fight with a robin last week.

Looking out my kitchen window, I could see something in the dish full of jelly for the orioles. I went and picked a couple of twigs out of the dish, chuckled at the silly robin, and went back inside.

A little while later, I was shocked to see the beginnings of a nest!

I ran out and plucked the brush and twigs out of the feeder. Dumb bird.

I got busy with things inside and the next time I looked out it was worse.

Now I was getting mad! This bird was not going to win. I went out there every once in a while and tossed out the beginnings of several nests.

When I told Gary and the boys about it at lunchtime, Blake laughed and said, “It’s kind of like you’re fighting yourself!”

In the afternoon, Gary pointed out that I was being pretty cruel to the poor robin. She was just trying to build a nest so she could lay her eggs. He was right, and I felt terrible. I did what he suggested and put a bag over the feeder to force her to build her nest somewhere else.

It worked. I left the bag on for a day or so, and when I took it off she didn’t try to build there again. She must have found another spot.

As I fought with the bird that day, I realized that Blake was right. I was fighting myself. The silly robin wanted to build her nest in the wrong place, and this silly Robyn sometimes wants to stay in places that are wrong for me.

I put time and energy into things that don’t really matter way too often, and, even worse, I let negative ideas fill my mind and crowd out more helpful, productive thoughts. Instead of brooding over the bad thoughts, I need to catch hold of every single one and get it out of my head.

I could barely keep ahead of that ambitious robin, and it can be even harder to stay ahead of all of the thoughts that try to take up residence in my brain. If only there were a way to cover everything and keep those thoughts out.

That may not be possible, but there is something I can do. When I get confused and frustrated by my tendency to keep going back to the same old thoughts and sins, I can focus on something else instead. Looking to the Lord for his wisdom and strength just may help me stop fighting myself and find the perfect place to rest.

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15 NIV)

“Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.” (1 Chronicles 16:11 NIV)

Do you ever get frustrated by your tendency to do the things you don’t want to do? How can focusing on God help you to turn from those things and rest in him instead?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Special New Books

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die.

How’s that for a catchy book title? It sure caught my eye. I jumped at the chance to get on Sarah J. Robinson’s launch team for this beautifully written book.

If you have ever struggled with depression and anxiety (especially if it often leads to suicidal thoughts), then I highly recommend that you read this book. If you know someone who deals with a mental illness, you can also benefit from Sarah’s honest and helpful words (especially appendix A).

Sarah doesn’t just share her story. She takes the reader on a journey to explore the pain that depression brings and come to a place of acceptance. Sure, she shares lots of great insights and ideas that will help someone with a mental illness get to better places emotionally, but the parts I liked best were the paragraphs that reminded me that I’m not alone. Other people feel the way I do at times. All of us can live wonderful lives in spite of a mental illness like depression.

I’ve written other Focus Friday posts about depression (and I’ll keep writing about it, of course). I want to share my story and help others. Maybe if enough people start reading books like this and go on to share their stories, we won’t feel so alone when we’re pushing through the bad days.

I’m learning more and more that it does no good to fight my depression. I enjoy the good days and I show myself grace on the bad days, knowing they’ll pass and things will get better again.

I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die releases on May 11. I preordered a copy (even though I already got to read a digital copy). I can’t wait to read through it again and use it as one of the tools that keeps me healthy.

Order a copy, too. You’ll be glad you did!

“In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.” (Isaiah 30:15 NIV)

Do books help you accept your depression or other mental illness? How can focusing on God help you to live well in spite of that illness?

Here’s a link to a beautiful short video where you can see Sarah Robinson talking about the book:

https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=528058238359999

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Life

On Wednesday, I started the morning by reading my Bible. I try to do that every day, but sometimes life gets in the way. That day, I hadn’t sat down to read since Saturday morning. After writing the date in my notebook, I jotted down this thought: “Too long between devos again—and it shows!”

It was true. The beginning of the week just seemed harder for some reason. I got weepy and worried about situations that normally wouldn’t have fazed me.

I usually read a few chapters, but that day I could only read one. A verse at the end of Deuteronomy 30 jumped out at me. I wrote it down and underlined the action verbs:

“Choose to love the LORD your God and to obey him and commit yourself to him, for he is your life.” (Deuteronomy 30:20 NLT, 1996 version)

I circled the word “life” a couple of times and dropped my pen.

That’s what I had been missing all week! Life had felt hard and meaningless because I had neglected to spend time with the one who really is my life. How could I have forgotten?

I kept my notebook open on my desk and went back to read that verse several times the rest of the week. It’s helped me to remember that I have a choice.

I can stumble along on my own, tripping over my faults and failures, or I can choose to love, obey, and commit to the LORD—my life!

It truly does make a difference. Every single day.

“Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live! You can make this choice by loving the Lord your God, obeying him, and committing yourself firmly to him. This is the key to your life.” (Deuteronomy 30:19–20 NLT)

Have you been choosing life or death lately? How can focusing on God help you to choose life? What will it look like as you love God, obey him, and commit yourself to him?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Taking Baby Steps

I set a goal on Monday. “I’m going to finish my book proposal by Friday.”

It wasn’t an impossible goal, but I didn’t accomplish it.

As usual, my brain wants to make that mean all sorts of negative things. (I’m a failure. I’ll never get it done. I always do things like this, so why even try?)

I’ve been fighting those thoughts (and losing) for the last couple of days.

Why can’t I focus on what I did get done instead? I spent almost two hours working on it on Tuesday evening (after procrastinating all of Monday and most of Tuesday). I wrote and tweaked parts of it on Wednesday for over an hour.

There were moments when I fell into despair because I didn’t like what I had already written. There were also flashes of hope when I wrote a new paragraph and saw how it might help a reader someday.

As I blog today, I’m choosing to celebrate the baby steps I took this week. I didn’t finish my proposal, but I’m three hours closer to completion. A few more baby steps next week and it might be ready to pass along to an agent.

There are other projects on my heart. It can be overwhelming to think about all of the steps involved in getting them done. Breaking them down into baby steps could help my brain see them as more possible.

We have to remember that there are going to be times in our lives when we race ahead, full of energy and ambition. Then there are those times when things are harder. We don’t have the confidence or energy to run, but even baby steps can keep us moving toward the finish line.

“I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” (Acts 20:24 NIV)

Do you get frustrated because you aren’t getting things done as quickly as you’d like? How can focusing on God help you to move forward—one baby step at a time?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Launch Parties

I am now a published author.

I’ve written my blog posts for years and I even had an article and some devotions published, but now I have a chapter in an actual book. It feels amazing! (And scary.)

This week I put a press release in our local newspaper about Life, Repurposed: Stories of Grace, Hope, and Restored Faith. I’ve given a few copies away and I’ve started selling some autographed copies to interested friends and family members.

Part of me wants to tell everyone I meet about it, and another part of me wants to hold back because it feels strange to point out my accomplishment.

I want to lean more toward the side that tells everyone, because I want my story to help as many people as it can. My chapter presents a snapshot of the depression I went through back in 2014 and encourages people to change their negative thinking.

There are also wonderful stories from 33 other writers. Of course I want to help get their words out to the people who need to hear them, so I’ll keep talking about this new book that was compiled and edited by Michelle Rayburn.

I wonder how often we do the same thing as Christians. We have faith in God and we see him working in our lives. Part of us wants to shout it from the rooftops, and part of us wants to keep quiet because we don’t want to appear too pushy.

But if we don’t talk about it and share God’s love, how will people learn about it? People need hope, love, and grace. Christians are the ones who can pass those things on to the world around them.

There’s a Facebook launch party for Life, Repurposed on Facebook this coming Monday, April 12, 2021. It goes on all day and will include author interviews (Here’s mine), giveaways, and more fun. I hope you’ll check it out.

Spread the news about this new resource and, if you’re a believer, make sure you’re spreading the news about the source of all our hope, peace, and joy—Jesus Christ.

 “Give praise to the Lord, proclaim His name; make known among the nations what He has done, and proclaim that His name is exalted.” (Isaiah 12:4 NIV)

How do you feel about sharing good news with the people in your life? How can focusing on God help you to push past the fear and tell others about your Lord?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Accepting Gifts

I received a gift today. I was very glad to get it, but I was surprised at the thoughts going through my head afterward.

Maybe I should tell you what I got first. You see, I’ve been doing some work in the church office this week. Our administrative assistant is fighting non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma and this was a rough week. I was happy to help out so she could rest.

I was working on the bulletin today, when all of a sudden her husband showed up with a vase full of beautiful flowers!

Aren’t they beautiful?

I protested that those weren’t necessary, but to tell her thank you from me. A little while later I texted her to say thanks and I sent her a picture of her gift.

“Thanks for helping out!” the card said. But I couldn’t just accept and enjoy her gift. My brain started doing all sorts of goofy things.

I should send her some flowers since she’s not feeling well. I hope she didn’t waste too much money on me. How can I pay her back for this?

I’m getting a little better at catching my thoughts, so I didn’t let my brain spin on those worries for too long. I smiled as I carried my flowers home when I got done working and I’ve been enjoying them every time I catch a glimpse of them. I’ve taken a few minutes to admire them again and stick my nose deep into one of the roses to enjoy its aroma.

It was a wonderful gift.

Today is Good Friday. Some of us have trouble accepting God’s beautiful gift. Sometimes our brains start doing all sorts of goofy things.

Jesus endured so much pain on the cross. I can’t believe he’d do that for little old me. How can I repay him for his sacrifice?

We have to catch those thoughts that spin and cause us to focus on ourselves. Instead we can think about the love he had for us that sent him to that cross. He wanted to go through that excruciating experience so each of us could have eternal life. It’s amazing!

We can take time today to reflect on the pain he went through and the shame he bore, but we can’t stay there. We have to remember that Sunday morning came and the tomb was empty. He rose from that grave. Death couldn’t hold him! Later he went to heaven to prepare a place for us. We can smile every time we remember what he did for us.

It was a wonderful gift.

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16 NIV)

How are you at accepting gifts? How can focusing on God help you to accept Jesus’ wonderful gift ?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Saving Up Encouragement

It’s safe to say that everyone experiences highs and lows in life. There’s an ebb and flow that’s inevitable. We can count on it just like the waves that shape the shorelines of the world’s oceans and big lakes.

If you’re like me, you may be one of the many people who struggle to find hope when the lows come. The tide goes out and you feel dragged from the familiar to the uncertain.

When times like that come, it might help to have some encouragement saved up. In my own life, there are some things I cling to when I’m tempted to give up.

There’s the hug and the simple “You’re so brave” a friend said when she saw me after my bout with major depression. That gives me the will to try when things seem hopeless.

I remember an established author writing “You’re an excellent writer!” in the margin of a project I sent her to look at. That keeps me going when I’m tempted to quit writing.

I see the look of love and concern on my husband’s face when I start talking about whether life is really worth it. I borrow some of his hope and muster up the will to find my purpose again.

These are all things in my head, but I’m wondering if it might be good to write them down and put them somewhere close. I could save them in a pretty box, a file folder, or a special file on my computer. That could be the place I run to when the dark times come. Reading over reminders of people’s words of encouragement could get me through the hard days.

I could sprinkle in special verses to remind me of God’s love and care, too:

Deuteronomy 31:6, Psalm 27:12, Proverbs 3:5–6, Isaiah 40:31, Isaiah 41:10, Lamentations 3:22–23, John 4:18, Romans 8:38–39, Romans 15:13, Philippians 4:13.

Saving up encouragement for the hard times just might be the thing that keeps me from drowning when the undertow of life threatens to drag me under.

I hope you’ll find a way to save up encouragement, too. Here’s one to get you started:

Life is hard sometimes, but you can do this! Don’t give up. You are loved!

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:16–18)

Do you have a special place where you can save up encouragement? How can focusing on God help you to hang on during the hard times?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Getting Away

Gary and I just got back from some time away. We went down to Tennessee to visit my parents and then we attended a conference at the Billy Graham Training Center at The Cove (the picture in this week’s graphic shows the view from the training center).

Just a week away from the pressures and responsibilities of life was so refreshing. I went away feeling tired and maybe even a bit cynical. By the end of the conference I felt inspired and ready to get back to my tasks and projects. I simply had to get away.

Jesus did that. Matthew 14:23 (NASB) says: “After He had sent the crowds away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray; and when it was evening, He was there alone.” If Jesus had to get away from the crowds and be by himself for a while, it must be important for us, too.

But it’s not just getting away that renews us. We can take a break from the everyday pressures of life and still feel tension and anxiety. Connecting with God is what really makes a difference.

“Come Away” is a beautiful song by the group FFH (I’m posting it below). I love the whole Voice From Home CD because all of the songs are written as if God were speaking. Here’s part of “Come Away”:

Come away with me
To the mountain of your dreams
Come away with me
There’s something you’ve got to see
Come away with me,
Come away with me
I will show you who I am
And who one day you will be
Come away, come away with me

If you’re feeling overwhelmed with life, you may need to get away. If you can’t arrange an actual trip somewhere, you may be able to at least schedule some time to get away mentally and meet with God.

He says, “Come away with me.” Spending time with God just might renew your perspective and refresh you for what God has in store for you.

The key to getting ahead may be as simple as getting away.

“Come near to God and he will come near to you.” (James 4:8 NIV)

Are you getting burned out from life’s responsibilities? Can you get away (physically or mentally)? How can focusing on God help you to connect with him and feel renewed?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Peace

Peace.

How can I write about peace when there is so little peace in the world, our countries, our states, our cities, our churches, and our homes?

If we focus on the chaos, all we’ll feel is stress. Broken relationships, political differences, job pressures, and our own sins and failures can build up and create a hum of doubt and insecurity that buzzes in our minds all day, every day.

I know I’ve tried to silence the hum in different ways: grabbing a snack, scrolling Facebook, watching a movie, reading a book. Those aren’t bad things, but I can’t do them just because I feel the stress of life. When the activity is done, the numbing “peace” is gone and the stress comes back.

I’m going to try some different things when the pressures of life start to overwhelm me.

Spending time in my craft room and creating a card for someone relaxes me and brings joy to someone else.

Getting out my guitar and singing some praise and worship songs brings peace to my soul as I turn my thoughts to God instead of the things that are stressing me out.

And, most of all, opening my Bible and reading God’s promises for me reminds me that there is someone who controls all of the chaos. I may not understand what’s happening, but I can trust that everything will turn out okay in the end.

It’s not easy. I know that.

The easy thing is to just keep fretting about all of the upsetting things happening in our lives.

The more difficult thing is to notice the hum of stress and do something healthy and productive to get back to a place of peace.

It takes practice and persistence, but the end result will be so worth it.

“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” (Isaiah 26:3 Modern English Version)

What things are keeping you from feeling peace right now? What activities help you feel more peace? How can focusing on God help you to experience peace even while distressing things are happening?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on What We Think about Throwing Bowls

Some days are more challenging than others. On those days, you just might have a near-miss when the bright early morning sun gets in your eyes at the 4-way stop in town. You might text the wrong person to reschedule when your husband sets a meeting that begins during your online Bible study (and you’ll get a few texts in before you realize the mistake and have to apologize and say “Sorry, we’re not visiting you today”). You might throw a bowl at a gym full of children.

Maybe I better back up.

I went to Dakota Christian School this morning to do part of chapel. The lesson was from Judges 6:17 and the focus was on Gideon asking God for signs. I put a white towel (I misplaced my fleece) down and explained that Gideon asked God to make the fleece wet with dew and keep the ground dry around it. Then I picked up the “fleece” and placed a bowl under it. I pretended to wring the towel out, and then I picked up the bowl and announced that the fleece was so wet it produced a whole…BOWL FULL OF WATER!

I dramatically thrust the bowl into the air, releasing a shower of little blue pieces of paper to represent the water, and throwing the bowl about fifty feet away from us—where it landed with a clatter.

I laughed nervously and ran to pick it up while the kids erupted in excited chatter. I heard several calls of “Encore! Encore!” We went on with Gideon’s story and they hopefully will remember to talk to God and look for signs from him in the Bible when he calls them to do whatever he has planned for them (and not just think of the silly woman throwing a bowl at them).

I’m not just telling you all this to make you laugh and be glad you’re not me.

I’m sharing it so you can take a look at your own embarrassing moments and make a choice when you decide how to think about them. What’s that? You don’t think you have a choice? I beg to differ with you.

In all three of my situations today, I could have chosen to think negatively about myself.

“I almost had a car accident. I should have put my visor down. I’m so stupid. I shouldn’t be driving.” (I would have been stressed and all shook up on my way to Dakota Christian.)

“I texted the wrong person. She’s going to think I’m an idiot. I should have listened better when Gary told me who we were meeting. I’m so dumb.” (I could have worked myself into a state of shame and embarrassment if I kept replaying my mistake.)

“I just threw a bowl during chapel. I’m so foolish. I thought about that possibility this morning, but I was sure I’d never let go of it. Someone could have gotten hurt!” (I could have gotten so embarrassed that I started crying and ran out of chapel without finishing.)

Instead, I caught my thoughts and decided to laugh about my mistakes. It was a choice.

“Thank you, God, that I didn’t have an accident. I’ll be more careful next time.”

“Our friend said ‘No problem’ when I explained my mix-up. I can laugh and move on.”

“I threw the bowl off to the side. It didn’t break. Nobody got hurt and the kids thought it was great. Next time I’ll use a styrofoam bowl, but for today I can laugh and let it go.”

I know some circumstances and mistakes are more serious than what happened to me today, but we still have a choice. With practice, we can choose true, uplifting thoughts instead of the negative, hopeless ideas we often rehearse over and over.

Catch your thoughts, friend. Take a good look at them. Get rid of the ones that keep you guilty, ashamed, and negative. Keep thinking the ones that help you be more free, confident, and positive.

You may even be able to laugh at something more serious than throwing a bowl.

“A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22 NIV)

What thoughts do you have when you make a mistake? How can focusing on God help you to think differently and laugh at your errors?

*By the way, did you know I have a little private Facebook group called “Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder“? I try to share resources and ideas to help us all catch our thoughts over there. Check it out!