Tag: Focus Friday

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Being Crucified With Christ

I’ve been reading from My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers during my devotional time in the mornings. The verse for April 10 was Romans 6:6, but I decided to read verses 1-14. How fitting that today–Good Friday–I would read about Co-Crucifixion.

That’s a gruesome thought, isn’t it? Most of us have probably seen the movies that show in graphic detail the pain and suffering Jesus went through on that cruel cross. We don’t like to imagine ourselves dying like that. And, of course, we don’t literally have to, because Jesus died for us.

But we do have to be crucified with Christ. Oswald Chambers said, “…it is the great moment in my life when I do decide that just as Jesus Christ died for the sin of the world, so sin must die out in me, not be curbed or suppressed or counteracted, but crucified.”

It reminded me of a song based on Galatians 2:20: “I am crucified with Christ, therefore I no longer live. Jesus Christ now lives in me.” (You can hear it at the beginning of Steve Green’s song Embrace the Cross on YouTube.)

The truth is, I want to live with Christ, but I don’t really want to die with him. I’d rather keep holding on to my selfish little sins and rely on his grace. But Paul asks right here in Romans 6:1, “Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?”

We can’t. I can’t. So today I’ve been pondering that thought. “I am crucified with Christ.” If I truly believe that, then I may feel some pain as I decide to let the sin in me be put to death. I may have to endure some discomfort and I may not feel very good when I deny myself something.

But it’s worth it. When I allow the Holy Spirit to help me, I can be crucified with Christ. Today I’ll think about Jesus’ suffering as he died, and I’ll grieve my own sins that put him there. But I’ll also remember that I have hope.

He didn’t stay dead. On Sunday morning, he rose! And because he lives, I can live, too. He lives in me now, and in each person that believes that he died for them.

It’s almost too much for our human brains to comprehend. Such suffering! Such sacrifice!

Such love!

“For if we have been united with [Jesus] in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his.” (Romans 6:5 NIV)

Have you ever thought about being crucified with Christ? How can focusing on God help you to decide to put the sin in you to death and let Christ live in you instead?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on What’s on Our Minds

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been finding it even harder than usual to concentrate lately.

There are so many thoughts bouncing around in my head. Some are helpful and hopeful. Others are not helpful and they lead to despair if I focus on them too much.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve been learning more and more about how important our thoughts are. I’ve been learning how to look at what I’m thinking and make sure those thoughts are true and that they’re moving me in the right direction in life. It has been interesting, enlightening, and sometimes disturbing to see what’s on my mind.

Our brains are incredibly complex. And when we deal with depression, anxiety, or other mental illnesses, it can be especially challenging to figure out how much of our thinking is under our control and how much is affected by the illness.

I’m a Christian, so I’ve always know how important it is to believe God’s truth instead of Satan’s lies. I’ve done Bible studies about it and practiced it–with varying degrees of success. I even started a Facebook group this week called “Catch Your Thoughts” (based on 2 Corinthians 10:5) because I want to help people learn about and improve their thinking.

So it surprised me when I watched a Facebook live event and heard speaker Brenda Yoder talk about our mind (intellect) being influenced by either the flesh or the Spirit. She said it in the context of how important it is for writers to ask God what they should be writing about, but I latched onto it as the missing piece of the “Thought Life” puzzle I’ve been working on for a long time.

Of course! How could I have forgotten how important the Holy Spirit is when it comes to my thoughts? I’ve learned that. I’ve known that. I’ve experienced that. But lately, I had been relying solely on my intellect (my mind, will, and emotion) to sort out what I was thinking and if it was good for me.

Worse yet, there have been many times when I’ve allowed the flesh (my sinful nature and the world) to control how I’m thinking and feeling.

If you’re a Christian, you don’t have to struggle with what’s on your mind. If you take it to the Lord, the Holy Spirit will help you sort through it and discern what is true. The Spirit will lovingly point out thoughts and feelings that have no value so you can get rid of them and focus on better things.

Our mind is important. We can decide what we choose to think and how we choose to act. But we don’t have to go it alone. We have a Helper who is always ready to guide us.

I’m still figuring all of this out, so I invite you to comment here or go over to my new Facebook group and join the discussion. Together, we can make sure we have a mind controlled by the Spirit, and that will lead to life and peace, no matter what’s going on in our lives or in the world.

“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” (Romans 8:6 NIV)

What’s on your mind right now? How can focusing on God help you to take everything to Him and let the Spirit help you sort out your thoughts?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Little Victories

I love Wheel of Fortune.

I can solve most of the puzzles pretty quickly.

I yell at the screen when someone wastes money buying a vowel.

When Gary’s around, I say, “I should be on that show!” He always agrees.

Trouble is, I’ve been saying that for years. And I never took the time to fill out an application online and make a little audition video.

I’m sure it was fear (it usually is). What if I actually go on the show and make a fool of myself? What if I get nervous and can’t solve a single puzzle? What if I say “and” when it’s a crossword puzzle?

So I didn’t apply. That was safer. That was more comfortable. Until it wasn’t.

Lately it started to bother me that I hadn’t applied. After I watched every show, I felt a strange sensation inside. What if they stop asking for contestants? What if Pat and Vanna decide to retire? What if I never even try?

I finally decided I’d waited long enough. I didn’t want to have any regrets about not doing my part to try to get on the show. So last Sunday I had Gary record me doing my little one minute audition and I filled out the online application. (See the video here or down below.)

It’s a little victory!

In this uncertain time, it may seem silly to try out for Wheel of Fortune, but maybe there’s something you’ve been putting off for a long, long time.

Instead of binging on Netflix and scrolling your Facebook feed, maybe you can do something to get a little closer to one of your dreams.

You want to write a book? Take a blank sheet of paper and brainstorm all the ideas you can about your topic.

You dream of visiting a foreign country? Well, that one may have to wait a while, but for now you could take a half hour and research the country’s most popular attractions.

You want to lose some weight? Write down what you’re going to do for exercise every day this week.

You want to get more organized? Set a timer for fifteen minutes and clean out one drawer.

When you get those things done, you can celebrate your little victories. And lots of little victories will eventually lead to some giant wins.

At least that’s what I’m hoping for when I get to the Bonus Round.

“Hard work always pays off; mere talk puts no bread on the table.” (Proverbs 14:23 The Message)

Do you feel defeated right now? How can focusing on God help you to celebrate some little victories and get closer to accomplishing your goals?

What do you think? Do I have a shot?
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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Our New Normal

Well, it’s been quite a week, hasn’t it?

I think we’re all trying to get used to our new normal.

I’ve heard several friends say it feels like such a long time that we’ve been dealing with this. We have been watching the situation unfold around the world for quite a while, but it has actually only been about a week that it really started to affect us.

Sporting events, conferences, and vacations started getting cancelled. Schools have been closed and online classes are beginning.

Grocery store shelves are sometimes bare as people stock up for the unknown.

We’re washing our hands and dumping on hand sanitizer and trying to stay six feet away from everyone we see when we do venture out of the house.

I’ve been handling it as well as I can, just like everyone else. I have noticed that I’m stress eating way too much (like that helps at all) and I’ve had more trouble concentrating when I’m trying to write or edit.

I’ll get involved in something for a while and kind of forget about what’s happening, and then the realization floods back over me that life is not the same as it was.

There’s a danger out there. We don’t know how bad it’s going to get before it’s over – or even when it will be over. I teared up tonight while watching the news and seeing the emergency room filled with people wearing ventilators over in Italy.

We won’t gather for church this Sunday. Instead, Gary will record a message and we’ll post it on our church website for people to watch. Who knows when we’ll be able to meet together again?

It’s our new normal.

We don’t like it. We don’t understand it. We don’t want to get used to it.

But we will.

We’ll find ways to connect, even if it can’t be in person. We’ll find ways to reach out, even if we need to leave six feet between us. We’ll find ways to help each other, even if we’re not quite sure how to help ourselves.

Hang on to hope, my friends, even when everything seems hopeless. God is in control. Because of that, we can keep choosing peace, even in the midst of chaos.

May that become our new normal, even after this virus is long gone.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV)

Are you getting used to our new normal? How can focusing on God help you to keep choosing peace in the middle of the chaos and uncertainty?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Birthdays

Today is my birthday.

I wasn’t planning to write about it. It’s not a “special” birthday. Almost halfway between 50 and 60, I always have to do the math when someone asks me how old I am (I know I’m 54 today, but I’ll probably forget by next week).

Gary and the kids (near and far) wished me a happy birthday this morning. We didn’t go anywhere special (but we’re planning to go out for supper next week). I cleaned a little, did an editing job, and had a pretty normal day.

A friend dropped off a card and a plate of goodies when I wasn’t looking. Another friend dropped off a chicken (for the freezer – not a live one!) and stayed to chat for a while. All day long I heard little pings coming from my phone and I knew birthday messages were coming in on Facebook.

I saw a few of them earlier in the day, but I finally sat down to “like” each of them tonight. So many messages from so many friends and family members. As I tapped and scrolled through all of them, I was overwhelmed by how rich my life is.

There were greetings from people in Michigan (where I grew up), and then from Rock Rapids, Iowa (where we lived after we got married); Orange City, IA (my college years and later, Gary’s); Holland, Michigan (seminary years); Chandler, Minnesota (our first church); Allison, Iowa (our second church); and Platte, South Dakota (where we are now).

I had messages from childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, lots of family members, church and community friends from all over, and so many writer friends.

I needed that reminder of all of the people God has brought into my life over the years.

They have each made my life better in some way, and I hope I’ve added to their lives as well.

Facebook showed me greetings from a small percentage of all of the people I actually know and love in my life. A birthday is a good day to remember, to give thanks, and to look forward to all of the people God will bring into my life in the year ahead.

Thank you for your friendship, whether you wrote on my wall or not. If we haven’t actually met yet, I hope we do that very soon. Oh, and in case I missed yours: Happy Birthday!

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.” (Proverbs 9:10-11 NIV)

Do you ever take time to think about all of the people God has brought into your life? How can focusing on God help you to be grateful for each birthday you celebrate?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Stress Tests

I saw a cardiologist today.

Nothing serious is going on (I hope), but at my doctor’s appointment on Monday I mentioned a few minor symptoms I’d been having, and it was enough to get her attention and suggest doing some tests.

The cardiologist suggested doing a stress test with imaging in a couple of weeks just to rule out any heart problems causing my occasional shortness of breath and a little pain (I tend to think it’s mostly some extra pounds I’m dragging around and a bit of anxiety).

I’ll follow the doctor’s advice because I know my heart is important. A physical stress test will show how well my heart is working and point out any problems.

Later today I had a spiritual stress test.

I guess maybe I was a little more nervous about my heart stuff than I originally thought. And then I started thinking about some projects I wasn’t getting done. And then I worried about one of my kids as they struggled with some problems today. And then I took on the heavy weight of worrying about someone else’s relationship issues. And then I found a task I hadn’t gotten done on time. And then I bought the wrong brand of something at the grocery store and had to go back to return it.

And then I had a meltdown while we ate our supper. Poor Gary had to try to enjoy his meal while tears were rolling down my cheeks and I had to keep wiping my eyes and nose. He thought it was about my grocery store mistake, but it was so much more than that.

I had failed my spiritual stress test.

When the pressures and concerns of life came my way today, my spiritual heart was weak and it couldn’t take the stress. No wonder I became a puddle of tears!

After I had a good cry, I took a closer look at my thoughts and what led up to my meltdown. I realized I had not been opening my Bible very often lately and I had been letting my thoughts run wild instead of catching them and making sure they were true (and everything else in Philippians 4:8).

So I spent a little time in the Word before I started writing this post. God led me to the verse below, a reminder to put on faith, love, and hope as we live each day. I definitely didn’t do that when I went through my spiritual stress test today. That test pointed out a big problem with my spiritual heart. It’s gotten weak and I need to let the Holy Spirit work on it so I’m stronger next time those tests come.

I’m quite confident my physical heart is just fine, and hopefully the stress test will confirm that.

I’m going to try to look at the trials that come my way as a spiritual stress test, and hopefully my spiritual heart will be just fine, too.

“But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, putting on faith and love as a breastplate, and the hope of salvation as a helmet.” (1 Thessalonians 5:8 NIV)

How’s your heart doing? How can focusing on God help you to pass any spiritual stress tests that come your way?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Losing Well

I like to play games. Especially when I’m winning.

Truth be told, I can get just a bit cocky when I’m in the middle of a game and my score keeps getting better. I’m smiling and laughing and teasing my family or friends about how they’re doing.

It’s much harder to stay positive when I get behind and my opponent seems to have all the luck. All of a sudden I get more quiet and the game isn’t quite as fun.

I can remember playing different games with our kids over the years. It seems like quite often we had to talk one of them into continuing to play even though they were losing. They just couldn’t see the point of playing if they couldn’t win. They’d start to pout and storm off to their room.

We spent time trying to teach our kids to lose well. We coached them to keep playing even though they might be losing, because “you never know when the score might turn around!” We even tried to get them to actually cheer for their brother or sister when they won. “Next time it might be you,” we encouraged.

I’d like to think they learned from those games when they were young (although we’ve had a few family fights over the game of Risk when one of us achieved world domination).

I had to practice losing well a couple of times this week.

We went to Rock Rapids, Iowa and stayed with Gary’s mom. The three of us played Rummikub (a tile game) a couple of times and it about killed me when Gary won first, then my mother-in-law, then Gary won again. “It was my turn to win!” I whined. But I got no sympathy from my normally loving husband.

The next day we played again with the same results for the first three games: Gary, Mom, Gary. There may have been just a little too much grumbling and complaining from me as I lost game after game. Finally, I won when we played a seventh round (I wonder if they let me win just so they wouldn’t have to see me pout anymore).

Tonight we played cards with some friends. I did fine on Canadian Salad (Gary was the one who had to lose well on that game), but we ended the night with a game of cribbage. I was giddy and sure of myself while my team was ahead, even pouncing on some points the guys missed while they were counting their hand.

Then, in the final stretch, the guys pulled ahead and I was shocked to find that I missed seeing some points – not once, but twice! What was wrong with me? That never happens!

It was a week of practicing losing well.

It’s kind of fun to trash talk our friends when we’re in the middle of the games we play together, knowing that someone has to win and someone has to lose. Hopefully, we’re not too annoyingly happy when we win and we’re not too pathetically sad when we lose.

We can work on that in other areas of life, too. When things aren’t going our way, it can be tempting to just withdraw and give up trying. We want to stomp off to our room and pout if we can’t win.

Instead, let’s stay in the game. Let’s keep trying and applaud the successes of those around us. Life is more than just a game, and if we believe in Jesus we know that ultimately we’re going to win. We really can’t lose at life, but we do need to practice the same skills we learn by “losing well.”

Perseverance, cheerfulness, kindness, and grace all serve us well as we live our lives. Especially when a 95-year-old woman beats the pants off you in Rummikub.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12 NIV)

How do you feel about losing? How can focusing on God help you to persevere and have a good attitude, even when things aren’t going your way?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Love

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I’m writing this (as I often do) late on a Friday evening, realizing that not everyone celebrates this holiday.

For some, it’s just too painful. They wish they could spend the day with someone special to love, but they’re alone.

For others, it’s hard because they’re either physically or emotionally far away from the one they love.

We didn’t really do anything special today, but we probably should have. Monday was our 30th anniversary, today is Valentine’s Day, and it’s Gary’s birthday today.

It’s not that we didn’t do anything. We went out to eat on Monday night and I made Blueberry Coffeecake tonight. Boy, does that sound lame, even to me. Truth is, we’re just not big celebrators. We really never have been.

We may not go all out on this holiday, but the love is definitely there.

We’ve enjoyed over thirty years of all of the little things that show we love each other:

Washing the cars, baking the cherry pies, changing the diapers, going to work, taking out the garbage, washing the dishes, taking care of the kids, washing the clothes, paying the bills, taking the dishes to the kitchen, changing the batteries in the smoke detectors, picking up the mail, getting groceries, taking care of each other when we’re sick, driving the rental car on vacation, and yes, even buying each other a few gifts, cards, and flowers along the way.

Of course, that list is not exhaustive. How can you list all of the love shown in thirty years?

We’ve made each other laugh – and we’ve made each other cry – but love always reminds us of what’s important.

I don’t know where you’re at today as you read this, but I hope you have people in your life that you love. I hope there are people who love you. I hope you know God’s great love for you and that you love Him with all your heart.

John 3:16 tells us that God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son. If we believe in Jesus we will have eternal life. He died so we could have that life.

That is love. Sacrifice, selflessness, and giving.

We can’t do it perfectly. We’re only human. But we can sure try to show more love to everyone in our lives. Not just on Valentine’s Day, but all year long.

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” (1 John 3:16 NIV)

How are you at showing love? How can focusing on God help you to lay down your life in lots of little ways as you love God and the people He’s put in your life?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on More Questions Than Answers

I have good news and bad news this week.

The good news is that I’ve been writing steadily on my depression book the last couple of weeks. I’m seeing my word count go up as I put in the work.

The bad news is that I seem to be getting more confused as I write. I thought this was going to be a helpful book that would tell my own depression story and give people the tools they need to stay healthy emotionally. As I’ve been writing, I’m afraid I’m coming up with more questions than answers.

Telling my story isn’t a problem, but all of the questions come up as I’m trying to write the rest of it.

Can I really suggest solutions to people whose situations are vastly different from mine? Isn’t that arrogant?

Are there some people who can’t ever recover from a mental illness?

When I sit down to write each day, I find myself typing out these questions and others in my manuscript. All of those questions almost make me want to give up the project.

It’s not just writing. I’m hoping you can see where you might experience this in many areas of your life.

You start a new romantic relationship. (Will he/she really love me? How can I trust this person? What if this doesn’t work out?)

You and your spouse decide to have a baby. (What if I can’t handle childbirth? Should we homeschool or send him to public school? What if she ends up living with us until she’s thirty?)

You decide to change jobs. (Can I learn the new computer software they use? What if I can’t stand my coworkers? How am I going to learn all this stuff?)

You decide to start a new hobby. (Can I really learn something new at my age? Where do I get my supplies? Who can teach me to do this?)

It’s tempting to want to quit when you have more questions than answers. It feels safer to pull back to what you know, the things you’re sure about. But nothing ever gets done that way. We stay stuck in our familiar ruts and we miss out. Others may miss out on something we have to offer, too.

We have to press on in spite of the questions. Maybe even because of the questions.

Those questions may lead us to answers. Those questions may help us gain clarity and direction for the goal we’re pursuing.

It may be a little confusing and messy while we’re in the middle of that question stage of our endeavors, but if we push on through we’ll eventually find ourselves with more answers than questions. And that will feel pretty great.

“If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.” (James 1:5-8 The Message)

Do you have more questions than answers in some area of life? How can focusing on God help you to move ahead anyway?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Self-Sabotage

It happens all the time.

I make a plan, set a goal, or say I’m going to do something and it goes well for a while. I see progress and feel great as I see success in sight.

But then, I do something to sabotage myself.

I stay away from snacks for a few days and my pants start to feel a little looser…and then I feed my face constantly for a day – just because I can.

I open up my laptop and work daily on my book…and then I get scared and stop writing.

I start to feel confident about editing and take on new clients…and then I entertain thoughts of quitting just because I’m scared I’ll miss something.

That’s what happened yesterday as I finished up an editing project. I started crying and blurted out all of my fears to Gary (my patient, wise husband who has had many similar conversations with me over the years). He talked me down and reminded me that feeling that anxiety is pretty normal.

Almost everyone deals with it to some extent. He reminded me that perfect is not possible, and the people who think they’re perfect are the ones we usually can’t stand to be around. They’re full of arrogance.

Feeling that tension about doing our best keeps us humble. Pushing on through those fears gets us to where we want to go.

He’s right (he almost always is!).

God says in His word that He wants us to live an abundant life. He wants us to follow Him and love Him with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. He tells us to love others. We can’t do any of those things well if we keep practicing self-sabotage.

John 10:10 in the ESV says, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.”

Satan loves it when we panic and pull away from something good just because we’re scared. He’ll do anything to keep us stuck in our self-sabotaging ruts because he knows how damaging it would be for him if we actually accomplished our goals.

So let’s get to the bottom of why we’re doing these things. Let’s get to the root of it and learn ways to fight past those feelings and stay on the path to success.

It takes hard work to stop self-sabotaging, but it’s worth it. Hopefully we can do it less and less as the years go by and we’ll see more of the successful outcomes we dream about.

“ ‘But my righteous one will live by faith. And I take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back [self-sabotages?].’ But we do not belong to those who shrink back and are destroyed, but to those who have faith and are saved.” (Hebrews 10:38-39 NIV – brackets mine)

Do you often self-sabotage? How can focusing on God help you to stop this and live more abundantly?

*If you struggle with this problem, here are a couple of great resources with more insights and suggestions for combating self-sabotage:

6 Reasons Why We Self-Sabotage (article on thriveglobal.com)

Quick Win: Stop Self-Sabotaging (on the Do It Scared Podcast with Ruth Soukup)