Tag: Focus Friday

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Not Going Back

I slept in today.

It worried me because there was a time more than a year ago when I couldn’t seem to get up on time.

Every morning I would hit the snooze over and over or turn off the alarm and not get up. I moved my alarm clock across the room, but I would still turn it off and crawl back in bed.

That’s what happened today. I shut off the alarm and then I made the choice to get back under the covers and sleep for another hour and a half.

It felt unavoidable, but I was conscious of the moment when it could have gone either way.

I was standing up after shutting off the alarm. The next action was normally to turn on the light, head for the bathroom, then get dressed and go read my Bible for a while before exercising.

This time, my hand didn’t immediately reach out to turn on the light. I debated with myself for about five seconds and then I turned and headed for the bed.

When I woke up later, I felt so defeated. I didn’t like remembering how hard it had been to get out of bed so long ago. I feared I was going back to my old bad habit.

How silly! This was one day of sleeping in after months and months of getting up on time. I’m not going back. I know how good it feels to do the right thing.

There are areas of my life where I choose to do what God wants me to do quite easily. I’m free from those habits and sins and I’ll never go back.

There are other areas where I can’t quite seem to get free.

Overeating.

Procrastination.

Negative thinking.

As I think about those areas, I realize that I can usually notice the moment where it can go either way.

When I open the cupboard door, but before I reach for the chips.

When I think about doing some writing, but before I click to open Facebook instead.

When I notice a self-condemning thought, but before I agree with it and add a few more criticisms.

With Holy Spirit help and lots of practice, I can choose to do the right thing in each of those areas. I can get free and move ahead to better ways of eating, acting, and thinking.

Maybe you have some areas of your life that feel overwhelming and inescapable. Can you figure out the moment where things could go either way? Let’s practice noticing that moment and making the best choice right then. At first, we may only make a good choice two times out of ten. If we keep praying and practicing, eventually it will become six times out of ten…eight times out of ten…and then ten out of ten.

Once we’re free of those old habits and sins, let’s determine that we’re not going back!

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1 NIV)

Are you stuck in any bad patterns of acting or thinking? How can focusing on God help you to get free from those things and move forward in freedom?

As I was writing this week’s post, I couldn’t stop thinking about this old Keith Green song, so I thought I’d share it here. After being freed from slavery, the Israelites wanted to go back to Egypt. Let’s not be like them!

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Consciousness

Over the last few years, I’ve been working on becoming more self-aware.

I’ve read books and listened to podcasts. I’ve watched videos and made long entries in my journals. I was feeling kind of proud of myself as I learned to be more aware of my thoughts and feelings. I got a little more assertive and made sure my wants and needs were met more often.

But then two things happened this week.

First, I read an entry from My Utmost for His Highest. You can read the whole devotion at myutmost.org, but I’m going to share a few lines here:

If we try to overcome self-consciousness by any common-sense method, we will develop it tremendously. Jesus says, “Come unto Me and I will give you rest,” i.e., Christ-consciousness will take the place of self-consciousness.

(My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, August 20)

Those lines shocked me. I realized that I have been becoming much more self-conscious and much less Christ-conscious as time has gone on. I think even as I’ve been reading my Bible in the mornings, it’s been with more of a focus on myself instead of on Christ. What does this mean for me? How can this improve my life?

The second thing happened this morning. I took a long walk and listened to an episode of the Finding Something Real podcast. My friend Janell Wood was interviewing musician Josh White (Lead pastor at Door of Hope in Portland, Oregon). He shared his testimony and talked about the gospel (the good news that Jesus died for us) in such a simple, compelling way. He reminded me of the things that really matter.

The quote that hit me the hardest? “It doesn’t matter how much light you shine into the face of a person if they’re blind.” He was talking about people who don’t believe in the Lord yet, but I teared up as I thought about some of the blind spots I have in my life. I need to ask for the Holy Spirit’s revealing so I can focus completely on Christ and have him be my everything.

There’s nothing wrong with learning to be more assertive, being more in touch with our feelings, and taking control of our thoughts. (I even started a Facebook group called “Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder” to explore that and encourage people to take every thought captive.) We just need to make sure our consciousness is focused more on Christ than on self. *

Let’s go to God first and the Holy Spirit will guide us to have a healthy, balanced view of ourselves and a consciousness that focuses completely on Jesus Christ.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NIV)

Where is your consciousness focused? Is it on Christ or on self? How can focusing on God help you to rest in Christ-consciousness instead of wrestling with self-consciousness?

*I’m still pondering what all of this looks like in the life of a Christian. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Seeing Things Clearly

I went to the eye doctor yesterday. It was my third visit in the last couple of months.

At my initial visit she gave me a pair of contacts to try, but they didn’t work. My backyard garden looked fuzzy from the kitchen window, and I had to squint sometimes when I was working on my computer.

At the second visit, she tried a different brand. I wasn’t happy with those either. Still a little fuzzy for distance, still a little squinty for reading.

During yesterday’s visit, she seemed perplexed about my problem. I was afraid I was going to have to go to glasses, but she tried one more thing, and I could see a noticeable difference. I left with (hopefully) my final set of sample contacts. If they continue to work, I’ll be set for this year.

Before I left, I thanked her for being patient with me. I was glad she had stuck with it until I could see clearly. I was also glad that I had gone back one more time instead of living with slightly blurry eyesight.

I think life works that way, too.

We get frustrated because we can’t see things clearly.

We can’t figure out how to look at the coronavirus, race relations, politics, and gender identity. They seem far away and blurry. For other people those things seem so clear. What are they seeing that we can’t?

So we decide to look at the things close to us instead. That should be simpler, right? But our job, our marriage, our relationship with our children, our friendships, and our daily schedules all seem out of focus, too. What is wrong with us? Should we just live with our unclear ideas about the world (far and near)?

We need to keep going back to the Lord so we can eventually see things the way he does. He’ll give us a prescription—through the Bible and the work of the Holy Spirit—that will help us perceive just how we need to see everything in our lives.

I know there are things we won’t understand completely until we get to heaven someday, but we can focus on the things that are clear right now: Love God, love others, make good use of the time you’ve been given on this planet, and never give up hope (not an exhaustive list, of course).

Don’t settle for squinting your way through life. Keep going back to God and he’ll help you improve your vision. Someday you’ll see things exactly like he does.

“We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!” (1 Corinthians 13:12 The Message)

How is your eyesight? Are you upset because so many things seem unclear? How can focusing on God help you to see things more clearly?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on the Strain

I came across these thoughts in a devotional recently:

“God does not give us overcoming life: He gives us life as we overcome. The strain is the strength. If there is no strain, there is no strength.” (My Utmost for His Highest, August 2nd)

The idea kept coming back to me. No strain, no strength.

I thought about it when I spent time exercising each morning. I used to spend a while doing strength exercises at the beginning of my workouts. I did leg lifts, pelvic thrusts, planks, pushups, and some time on the weight machine to work my arms and legs.

In recent months, I had gradually abandoned that part of my routine. It was much easier to turn on the TV, hop on the exercise bike, and pedal half-heartedly as I watched a show or movie.

I wasn’t getting stronger physically because I wasn’t adequately straining my muscles. (For info about how our muscles work, check out this article at popsci.com.)

After reading My Utmost, I got back down on the floor and moved my body in ways that were challenging and uncomfortable. I sat at the weight machine and worked my arms and legs until they hurt.

It felt bad, but it also felt good, and I know my muscles will keep getting stronger if I keep at it.

I’ve been pondering “strain” all week, wondering what other areas of my life would improve if I accepted the strain and kept working hard.

My writing?

My overeating habits?

My relationships?

The devotion in My Utmost for His Highest goes on to say, “God never gives strength for tomorrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the minute.”

We can do this, friends. Concentrate on asking for the Holy Spirit’s help to get through the strain of each minute. He will help us and we will find ourselves getting stronger and stronger with each experience of pushing ourselves.

Do you want to be strong? Accept the strain.

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed–not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence–continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” (Philippians 2:12 NIV)

Do you try to avoid any strain in your life? How can focusing on God help you to accept the strain and grow stronger?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Paddling Hard


I learned a lesson from my daughter this week.

Our kids from Lincoln, Nebraska were here visiting and we went kayaking together on Tuesday morning. We went to a new spot at Pease Creek, which flows into the Missouri River. The wind was stronger than we had anticipated, but after we braved the waves and current of the “creek,” we had an easier time paddling along the opposite shore.

We enjoyed the scenery as we went upstream. Swallows darted around us in several places. We saw a little island and made that our goal. “We’ll go around the island and then the wind will push us back to where we got in.”

Only it didn’t work quite that way. After we got around the island, the wind seemed to have died down. We had to work harder than we had planned as we went back downstream.

We still had a ways to go when I noticed our daughter Erin getting frustrated.

Her kayak kept turning to the right for some strange reason. If she paddled, she was okay, but if she stopped for even a few seconds the front end swung off to the right and she ended up sideways in the waves.

We were close together, and I could see her getting more and more perturbed. She sighed and grumbled. She’d paddle a little and then I watched her kayak slowly turn right again. I felt sorry for her, but I couldn’t really do anything to help her.

I kept going and concentrated on getting my own arms to keep working. I was tired!

All of a sudden I looked ahead and I saw Erin digging her paddle into the water with determination. Gary was still ahead of her, but she had blown by the rest of us and she was getting close to the shore. She was mad and she wanted this kayak trip to be over as soon as possible.

She still seemed a bit ticked when the rest of us pulled up to the beach, but she didn’t take it out on anyone. She helped put the kayaks on the trailer and she was pleasant on the ride back home.

When we talked about it later, she said that was a conscious choice. She was so mad in the water, so she decided to just get to shore as fast as she could. After that she had to choose to let her anger go so she didn’t act like a jerk to the rest of us.

I was impressed and proud of her. And I was also challenged, because way too often when I get frustrated because something isn’t going my way, I just sit and complain. I get mad, but I don’t do anything about it. If the situation gets better, sometimes I still carry the anger with me and take it out on the rest of the family.

How much different life would be if I could practice what I saw Erin do the other day.

When I get angry because I’m veering off course, I can use that anger to fuel my forward motion. I can set my sights on where I want to go, dig in, and paddle hard until I arrive at my destination.

You may have an area of life where you’re frustrated, listing off to the side instead of moving closer to your goal. The Holy Spirit wants to help us, but we have to put in the work necessary to move forward. We can’t just sit still and expect to get where we want to go.

We need to sit at the computer and type if we want to write that article, devotion, or book.

We have to find something else to do when we’re tempted to eat out of boredom or stress.

We have to make time to read and study hard if we want that diploma or degree.

We need to let go of the past and focus on the plans God has for us in the future.

Get mad at the sins and distractions that are hindering your progress. Dig in and ask God to help you figure out the next steps you need to take to move forward. Paddle hard until you accomplish what God is calling you to do.

Get mad! Dig in! Paddle hard!

“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13–14 NIV).

Are you frustrated because it doesn’t seem like you’re getting any closer to your goals? How can focusing on God help you to move forward?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Editing

This week I’m attending PENCON—a virtual conference (at least this year) for Christian editors. I’m enjoying it so much. I’m learning new things about editing and being challenged to improve my skills. It has also been encouraging to hear from other editors who lament the fact that they’ll never catch every error in a client’s project, but they are determined to do the very best they can to make an author’s words shine for their readers.

Authors are constantly being mentioned in the sessions and the conversations we are having. After all, editors wouldn’t have jobs if there weren’t writers who need editing.

A writer has to be trusting and accept the changes the editor makes. If the author rejects every change and ignores every suggestion for improvement, their piece of writing will remain rough and possibly unclear.

Inexplicably, there are authors like that. They pay an editor large sums of money for their services, and then fight the changes the editor wants to make. The writer wants to hold on to the precious words they’ve crafted, unwilling to move things around, delete, or rewrite.

It’s much better when an author will agree to the changes made or suggested by a good editor. They might grieve the loss of a scene or character they’ve grown to love, but the writer will let it go because they trust that the editor has the good of their writing in mind.

The author and editor develop a mutually beneficial relationship that results in a polished project that will have the greatest impact on a reader—whether that impact is for learning, inspiration, or entertainment.

All of us have an editor in life.

It’s God, of course, working in us through the Holy Spirit. He firmly points out changes that need to be made in our lives. Some things need a little tweaking, others need to be rewritten, and many may need to be deleted.

It hurts. We love our lives. Even if we don’t love every part, we’ve at least gotten comfortable with our habits and relationships.

When the Holy Spirit points out something that needs to change, we may want to reject his suggestion, like a stubborn writer refuses to accept editing.

When we do that, we’re destined to remain rough and confused in our lives. We’ll never become the person God wants us to be. We’ll never make the greatest impact we can on the world around us.

We have to trust the editor. God has our best in mind, and he wants to make us into the image of Jesus, his son. He won’t change our personality or voice, but he’ll change us and make us the very best we can be if we work with him.

Let’s not be clueless and stubborn. Let’s be teachable and accept the changes.

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:12–13 NIV)

Do you work with the Holy Spirit when he wants to make changes in your life? How can focusing on God help you to accept those changes and become more like Christ?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Anticipating a Fall

Remember last summer when I crashed my bike?

Well, it looks like I’m not capable of getting through a summer without some sort of accident.

This time, though, I saw it coming.

Gary and Dylan and I had just spent some time water skiing and tubing at the river. It was so much fun. We got back to the dock and pulled the boat out of the water. I put something in the back of our vehicle and then I was going to walk over the tongue of the trailer to get to my side.

I don’t even know what happened, but all of a sudden I knew I was falling. My head was on a collision course with the asphalt. Thankfully, time seemed to slow down and I had the presence of mind to turn my head and roll onto my back as I fell.

When I landed, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Our son Dylan watched it all happen, and then he had to try to explain when Gary yelled out, “What’s going on back there?” That made me laugh a little harder, and also scramble to get up before Gary decided to take off with the boat and run me over.

I got in my seat and checked for injuries. A scraped-up shin and sore shoulder seemed to be the only noticeable signs of damage (aside from my bruised pride).

I shudder to think of what could have resulted if I had plowed face-first into the parking lot. Thank goodness I could anticipate the fall and do something to soften the impact.

It got me thinking about life.

Sometimes a situation hits us out of nowhere, with little or no warning (like my bike crash last summer).

Other times, we have a little warning and we can anticipate the fall. We may even have time to do some adjustments to lessen the repercussions of the crisis. If we don’t, we’re being pretty foolish.

We feel a strange sense of attraction to someone other than our spouse? Take action to stay away from that person and do something to strengthen our marriage. Avoid the painful fall of divorce.

We see the credit card bills increase every month? Seek financial counseling to pay off those debts and start saving money instead. Avoid the painful fall of bankruptcy.

We experience heart palpitations and racing thoughts every time we get out of our comfort zone? Talk to a doctor or counselor and learn skills for facing new circumstances. Avoid the painful fall of panic attacks.

We find hopeless thoughts stealing our joy in life and paralyzing us from moving forward? Reach out to a professional who can prescribe medication or provide counseling to get you back to a more hopeful mindset. Avoid the painful fall of depression.

It’s not always possible to avoid disaster, but if we watch for danger, sometimes we can anticipate a fall and do something—anything—to avoid it.

“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.” (Proverbs 22:3 NIV)

Do you change direction when you see danger ahead? How can focusing on God help you to anticipate a fall and do something before it happens?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Accepting Loss

I lost something special this week.

My favorite Black Hills Gold earrings are no longer a pair. I wore the jewelry while I showered and caught one with the towel as I was drying off. I heard it hit the floor, and I even rescued the back of it—still behind my ear. I couldn’t see the earring on the floor, but I wasn’t too worried. This had happened countless times before and I had always managed to find the tiny piece of metal.

The earrings were special to me because they were one of the first gifts Gary ever gave me after we started dating. He gave me the heart necklace on Valentine’s Day and the heart earrings on my birthday a few weeks later.

I thought I had lost them for good once before. When the kids were quite young, we went to an event at Camp Geneva in Holland, Michigan. I thought I had lost one in their pool. We searched all over and reported it to the staff, asking them to contact us if it showed up.

I cried as we drove home because I felt so bad that I had lost something so special to me. I berated myself for my carelessness and kept rehearsing all kinds of negative thoughts about myself.

Imagine my surprise when I got undressed later that night and the earring fell to the floor as I took off my underwear. My favorite earring was back.

I was hoping for the same kind of outcome this time. A little searching and my jewelry would be found. But this time it didn’t happen. I looked all over the floor. I looked under the vanity. I checked behind the toilet. I emptied out the garbage can. I stuck my hand down the floor vent. I took the cover off the drain in the shower.

No luck. It was gone.

But this time, thirty-two years after I received those special earrings, I didn’t cry.

I felt terrible, of course. I wished I would have taken them out before I showered. But I didn’t berate and punish myself for my mistake. (It also helped that Gary didn’t do either of those things when he heard that I had dropped it. He helped look, but he didn’t get upset with me.)

I had to accept my loss and move on. It would have done me no good to cry and mope around my parents’ house for the rest of our visit. I did everything I could and then I had to let it go.

We have to learn to do that in many areas of our lives.

Life throws us all kinds of losses.

We can lose easy things like earrings, car keys, and remotes.

We can lose harder things like money, time, and job opportunities.

We can lose unthinkable things like health, friendships, and family members.

In all of those things, we have to get to a place of acceptance before we can find contentment. Of course, we’ll grieve some losses more than others. The pain of the loss may never completely go away, but God can give us the strength we need to get to a place of acceptance and the ability to keep living in spite of the loss.

I’ve accepted this loss, but I think I’ll go check my underwear one more time.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” (Philippians 4:12–13 NIV)

Do you handle losses well? How can focusing on God help you to accept a loss—whether it’s big or small—and move on in life?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Getting Back to What Matters

I haven’t posted for a while. You may have noticed, or maybe you didn’t.

I know, if you’re like me, that your inbox is probably full of people telling you about their latest post, their latest product, their latest thoughts. I read some, I skim some, I delete some.

To be honest, I got into a “What’s the use?” kind of mindset after my last post.

I wondered if what I had to say really made a difference to anyone, especially with the chaos of the coronavirus situation weighing us down. There were other people posting humorous videos, providing free online concerts, and giving inspirational insights to get us all through this difficult time.

And then, about a week or so after I didn’t write, I heard someone quote Jeff Goins: “Just because something is successful doesn’t mean it has to keep going.” Now, I don’t know if I’d call my blog “successful,” but that got me thinking that maybe I had done weekly blog posts long enough. Maybe “Focus Friday” had run its course and it was time for something different.

Every week that went by just made it that much easier to not write the next week.

It’s not that I was getting depressed (although I’ve dealt with a few more ups and downs during this pandemic), but I was definitely questioning my purpose. I kept spending time every morning reading my Bible, but it felt harder to share what I was learning.

I can’t say that I’m back because I had some big epiphany. If anything, it feels a little more difficult to add my voice back into the mix right now. But this week, I have felt an urgency to get back to what matters.

God calls each person to different tasks and issues. For me, it’s writing and speaking about mental health. Even though I don’t have all the answers, I want to be someone who encourages people to hold onto hope and reach out for help so they can get (and then stay) emotionally healthy.

What matters, for me, is learning to love God, live for Jesus, and let the Holy Spirit work in me. If I focus on those things, the rest of this chaotic life will fall into place (or the unimportant things will just fall away).

It’s good to be back. If you’ve gotten off course, I pray you’ll find your way back to what matters, too.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matthew 11:28-30 The Message).

Have you strayed away from what matters? How can focusing on God help you to get back to finding your purpose in life?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Rufous-Sided Towhees

There was a bird hopping around in our garden a while back. I had no idea what it was. I combed through my bird book and tried to match up its features with the pictures I saw. I thought I was close a couple of times, but I couldn’t figure it out. I saw it often for about two weeks and not knowing was really bugging me.

Finally, I messaged a picture to my mom and texted her to ask my dad if he knew what it was. Seconds later, the reply came back: Rufous-sided towhee.

I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even know there was such a bird!

Here’s a close-up from Google images (S.D. Stanton, 2009). Isn’t it beautiful?

After I asked my dad and got my answer, I wondered why I hadn’t done that a couple of weeks ago when I first saw it. Growing up, my dad was always getting out the bird book and using binoculars to identify the feathered friends who visited our bird feeder. Of course he would know what bird that was without even having to look it up.

He knew the answer. I just had to ask.

I often do the same thing with my heavenly Father. I stumble along in life, searching desperately for answers to my problems, looking in all the wrong places.

I forget that I have a Father who created the whole world (even the rufous-sided towhee!). He has a plan for each of his created beings (that’s you and me). As we take each step in faith, God will make that plan clear to us. We may not always understand where His plan is taking us, but we can trust Him to lead us exactly where we need to go.

I forget that He loves each of us unconditionally. He loves me, with all of my mistakes, flaws, and insecurities. He loves me, with all of my successes, talents, and accomplishments. He loves others, whether they believe in Him or not. We may not always understand each other’s beliefs and opinions, but God can show us how to love each other, too.

I forget that God cares about each detail of my life. He cares about my health, work, leisure, family, friends, and all the rest. When I get stuck with problems in one of those areas, He knows about it and He wants to help.

God knows all of the answers. I just have to ask.

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” (Jeremiah 33:3 NIV)

Have you ever seen a rufous-sided towhee? Who do you go to when you have questions or problems? How can focusing on God help you to ask Him for answers first (instead of last)?