Tag: depression book

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on What Really Matters

We’re almost two weeks into a new year and I’m realizing that my focus is all messed up. (Having a blog with mostly “Focus Friday” posts, you’d think I’d have this figured out by now, wouldn’t you?) Keep in mind that I’m not trying to shame myself (or you!) as I explore this topic. We just all need a reminder to get back on track once in a while.

My heart was stirred about this several times in the last couple of weeks, but I haven’t taken the time to write about it, or even think more deeply about it, until now.

The first time it happened was in church last Sunday. Gary preached a sermon from Matthew 6. “What Do You Treasure Most?” was the title. (You can watch it by clicking here.) As he spoke, I felt myself pondering the things I treasure. Of course I love the Lord, but lately my focus seems to be on too many earthly treasures.

Then in Sunday school we watched a video featuring J.D. Greear, talking about Romans 2. He said so many good things, but what bothered me was the idea that we can do all the “right” things, but if our hearts are far from God, it all means nothing. I wondered if my heart was really in the right place. From the outside, it probably looks like it, but I know the struggles I have with loving certain people or having the right attitude when I’m doing those “right” things.

And then I went through this week. On Sunday, I said I was going to be working on formatting my depression book, getting it ready to publish on Amazon KDP pretty soon. It’s now Friday evening, and I haven’t started yet. Why? Because I’m scared. Of what? Of the unknown.

I’ve never done something like this before, so it’s scary. I think I can figure it out, but taking that first step has felt impossible all week. So, I’ve found all sorts of ways to avoid it.

I went swimming most mornings. That was good for my physical and mental health, but I could have shortened my workouts a bit so I could get to the formatting.

I still had the afternoons free, right? Well, I managed to fill those, too. I did some good things, but I also did a fair amount of pointless stuff like watching YouTube videos and playing a blocks game on my phone (I’ve uninstalled it once again!).

By the time it got to the evenings, I felt like it was too late to start, plus I had youth group on Wednesday night.

So, what really matters? And what do I do when I realize I’m not focusing on what really matters?

What really matters is loving God and loving others. When I’m reminded that my focus is more on me (especially on my fears and insecurities), then I need to take steps to find the right balance once again.

Spending some time reading my Bible and praying each morning (and throughout the day) is a great place to start. Too often I skip that so I can exercise or do some other task around the house. Bible reading and prayer get my focus back on loving God.

Something else I can do is ask the Holy Spirit to help me balance my time between my own interests and things I can do to help others (and quite often those are the same thing). Writing blog posts, recording podcast episodes, and finishing my depression book are all things I enjoy doing (when I finally push past the fear and do them). I pray that they can also support and encourage others who might struggle with depression and anxiety. That gets my focus back on loving others.

Our hearts are fickle. Left to their own devices, they’ll try to convince us that we’ll never be happy unless we do whatever we want to do, whenever we want to do it. That’s a lie. True happiness and peace comes from focusing on what really matters. Every day.

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30–31 NIV)

Do you ever struggle and pay more attention to worldly pursuits instead of what really matters? How can focusing on God help you love God and love others well?

P. S. – I really am planning to finish my depression book in the next couple of weeks. It tells a little of my story, but it also has ideas for how we can all stay healthy emotionally when we have a mental health diagnosis. Let me know if you’d like to read a pdf of the book when I get it done. I just ask that you leave a short review on Amazon after it releases. Just send me a message at robyn@robynmulder.com.

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on More Questions Than Answers

I have good news and bad news this week.

The good news is that I’ve been writing steadily on my depression book the last couple of weeks. I’m seeing my word count go up as I put in the work.

The bad news is that I seem to be getting more confused as I write. I thought this was going to be a helpful book that would tell my own depression story and give people the tools they need to stay healthy emotionally. As I’ve been writing, I’m afraid I’m coming up with more questions than answers.

Telling my story isn’t a problem, but all of the questions come up as I’m trying to write the rest of it.

Can I really suggest solutions to people whose situations are vastly different from mine? Isn’t that arrogant?

Are there some people who can’t ever recover from a mental illness?

When I sit down to write each day, I find myself typing out these questions and others in my manuscript. All of those questions almost make me want to give up the project.

It’s not just writing. I’m hoping you can see where you might experience this in many areas of your life.

You start a new romantic relationship. (Will he/she really love me? How can I trust this person? What if this doesn’t work out?)

You and your spouse decide to have a baby. (What if I can’t handle childbirth? Should we homeschool or send him to public school? What if she ends up living with us until she’s thirty?)

You decide to change jobs. (Can I learn the new computer software they use? What if I can’t stand my coworkers? How am I going to learn all this stuff?)

You decide to start a new hobby. (Can I really learn something new at my age? Where do I get my supplies? Who can teach me to do this?)

It’s tempting to want to quit when you have more questions than answers. It feels safer to pull back to what you know, the things you’re sure about. But nothing ever gets done that way. We stay stuck in our familiar ruts and we miss out. Others may miss out on something we have to offer, too.

We have to press on in spite of the questions. Maybe even because of the questions.

Those questions may lead us to answers. Those questions may help us gain clarity and direction for the goal we’re pursuing.

It may be a little confusing and messy while we’re in the middle of that question stage of our endeavors, but if we push on through we’ll eventually find ourselves with more answers than questions. And that will feel pretty great.

“If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get his help, and won’t be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who “worry their prayers” are like wind-whipped waves. Don’t think you’re going to get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open.” (James 1:5-8 The Message)

Do you have more questions than answers in some area of life? How can focusing on God help you to move ahead anyway?