I’ve never liked making choices.
I’m usually afraid I’ll make the wrong decision and end up regretting something.
I thought I was making progress in this area, getting a little more confident at making choices, but I found out that I still have some work to do.
Our son is moving soon and I’m planning to make his room into my office. Right now my desk is in the living room. It works, but I’m sure I would get so much more writing done if I had my own room.
I started to dream about what I could do with my own space. A comfy chair? A new bookshelf? Inspiring artwork on the walls?
What about a new color for those walls? My friend said she’d help with the project if I picked up some paint, so I stopped by the store the other day, thinking it wouldn’t take long to grab a gallon.
I thought maybe I’d pick out a color to match the graphic for my online Facebook group.
I made my way to the paint section, pulled up the graphic on my phone, and started to look at the color samples from several brands of paint. Nothing looked even close to my color and it only took about two minutes for me to feel anxious and overwhelmed.
Tears threatened as I pulled a couple of sample cards from the racks. My mind began to spin as I was faced with too many choices. Thankfully, Gary joined me at about that time and suggested I wait until after we moved Blake. Then I could get the paint and do the project right away. I was relieved that I didn’t have to decide, but I was also a bit shaken.
Something I thought would be fun and easy had turned into something stressful and difficult.
I could see some parallels to other situations in my life. As I looked at the paint samples, one of the loudest thoughts in my brain was, “I can’t do this.” I wanted to scrap the whole idea of painting the room just because I couldn’t decide on a color and I was afraid I’d pick the wrong one.
I can think of more than one area of life where I’m tempted to say, “I can’t do this” and I avoid the project because I’m afraid I won’t do it right.
On the way out to the car the other day, I could feel a part of my brain trying to reason with the part that was panicking. “It’s just a color. You can pick anything. It doesn’t have to be perfect.” That’s so true.
I could stick with the neutral color that’s already in the room, but now I think I have to paint it. Going into my robin’s egg blue office (or whatever shade of blue I end up with) will remind me that I dared to make a decision, and I think that will bring me lots of joy.
Maybe it will even inspire me to make decisions in other areas of life where there are too many choices.
“In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” (John 16:23–24 NIV)
Do you have trouble making choices? How can focusing on God help you to ask him for wisdom as you choose?