Tag: church

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on the Right Perspective

Sometimes we don’t see things from the right perspective.

The other day we drove past a church. I looked at the sign, looked at the building, and thought to myself, “That’s a pretty small church.”

Driving on, I looked over my shoulder and saw it from a different perspective. It actually was a very big church.

I marveled at how wrong I was, all because I judged that place of worship from the wrong perspective.

When I saw it as small, I was tempted to dismiss it as less important and lacking somehow.

When I saw how big it actually was, I was impressed and assumed they were effective in ministry.

The truth is, no matter how I was looking at it, I had no idea what that church was actually like. Big or small, from the outside looking in I could only make assumptions. To really know what that church was like I would have to go inside, meet the people, and experience a worship service.

Don’t we do the same thing with people?

We look at someone from one perspective and they seem to be lacking. We dismiss them after a quick, judgmental glance.

Then we see them from another angle and we’re more impressed. They have so much going for them, so they must be worth knowing. The truth is, we really don’t know what that person is like until we get to know them better.

We can despise someone just because we don’t like the way they look or how they talk. We may admire someone else because they’re good-looking and say all the right things.

But the person we consider plain may have a heart of gold. They may end up being the most fiercely loyal friend we’ve ever had.

The attractive person may be so toxic we can’t stand to be around them. Their smooth talk may cover up a mountain of insecurities.

Or vice versa. We just won’t know until we spend time with that person and experience life with them.

The Holy Spirit will guide us as we deepen some relationships and terminate others.

No matter what someone looks like or how they act, we can try to see them as someone God loves. (Because he does!)

It all comes down to seeing others from the right perspective.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8–9 NIV)

Do you see others from the wrong perspective? Are you dismissive and judgmental, or do you see people as loved and full of potential? How can focusing on God help you to see them as he sees them?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Fellowship Anxiety

Do you ever feel uncomfortable during fellowship time after church? I sometimes do.

I look around the room at all of these people – people I’ve grown to know and love over this past year – and I get a bit anxious. Who do I talk to? If I go up and start talking with that group of people over there, will that other group of people think I’m snubbing them? If I stand alone, will everyone pity me? If I go up and join a group that’s already talking, will they have to change what they’re talking about to include me?

It’s silly, but it happens. And I’m guessing it’s not just me.

Sure, there are extroverts that thrive on connecting with as many people as they can talk to on a Sunday morning.

But then there are the introverts. We thrive on time alone, even if we enjoy talking with others sometimes. So some Sundays will be fine and we’ll chat with quite a few people during fellowship time. And there will be some Sundays when we look around and decide to head for the door.

Maybe just talking about it here will make it a bit easier.

After all, even Paul felt anxiety: “Besides everything else, I have a daily burden because of my anxiety about all the churches. ” (2 Corinthians 11:28 International Standard Version)

We can cut ourselves some slack and realize there will be times when we feel anxious.

We can show others lots of grace when we see them heading for the door instead of staying to talk during fellowship time. Some weeks, they just might not be able to handle the uncertainty of being in the crowd.

So, should we do away with fellowship time after church? Should we all just head for the comforts of home and bypass the possibly awkward interactions with others?

I think not, because there are many good things that happen during fellowship time.

Visitors are greeted (hopefully!) and introduced to people during this time.

Children play with their friends right by the oldest members of the church, and they are blessed just by seeing each other in this special place.

Often, hugs or tears are shared as people talk about something they’re going through, and they are encouraged and strengthened as they realize someone cares.

If you sometimes feel a bit anxious during fellowship time, here are a few things you can try:

Look around and find someone who is standing alone. They may be feeling a little of the anxiety you’re experiencing and will welcome having someone to talk to.

Try to develop a “There you are!” attitude, instead of a “Here I am!” mindset. “Here I am!” begs for people to notice us. We get upset and offended when they don’t go out of their way to connect with us. A “There you are!” attitude looks for someone who needs some love, encouragement, and connection.

Pray for the people you see all around you. Maybe you won’t even mind standing alone if you can learn to just enjoy watching others interacting while you silently pray for them by name.

Remember that everyone feels a little social anxiety at times. Take a deep breath, smile, and start talking to someone. You just might feel your anxiety disappear as you get to know your fellow church members better.

(And if none of those ideas work, you can always just head for the door and see if next week feels better!)

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV)

Do you ever feel anxious during fellowship time at church? How can focusing on God help you to see the great benefits of spending time with other believers after the worship service?