Over the last few years, I’ve been working on becoming more self-aware.
I’ve read books and listened to podcasts. I’ve watched videos and made long entries in my journals. I was feeling kind of proud of myself as I learned to be more aware of my thoughts and feelings. I got a little more assertive and made sure my wants and needs were met more often.
But then two things happened this week.
First, I read an entry from My Utmost for His Highest. You can read the whole devotion at myutmost.org, but I’m going to share a few lines here:
If we try to overcome self-consciousness by any common-sense method, we will develop it tremendously. Jesus says, “Come unto Me and I will give you rest,” i.e., Christ-consciousness will take the place of self-consciousness.
(My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, August 20)
Those lines shocked me. I realized that I have been becoming much more self-conscious and much less Christ-conscious as time has gone on. I think even as I’ve been reading my Bible in the mornings, it’s been with more of a focus on myself instead of on Christ. What does this mean for me? How can this improve my life?
The second thing happened this morning. I took a long walk and listened to an episode of the Finding Something Real podcast. My friend Janell Wood was interviewing musician Josh White (Lead pastor at Door of Hope in Portland, Oregon). He shared his testimony and talked about the gospel (the good news that Jesus died for us) in such a simple, compelling way. He reminded me of the things that really matter.
The quote that hit me the hardest? “It doesn’t matter how much light you shine into the face of a person if they’re blind.” He was talking about people who don’t believe in the Lord yet, but I teared up as I thought about some of the blind spots I have in my life. I need to ask for the Holy Spirit’s revealing so I can focus completely on Christ and have him be my everything.
There’s nothing wrong with learning to be more assertive, being more in touch with our feelings, and taking control of our thoughts. (I even started a Facebook group called “Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder” to explore that and encourage people to take every thought captive.) We just need to make sure our consciousness is focused more on Christ than on self. *
Let’s go to God first and the Holy Spirit will guide us to have a healthy, balanced view of ourselves and a consciousness that focuses completely on Jesus Christ.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NIV)
Where is your consciousness focused? Is it on Christ or on self? How can focusing on God help you to rest in Christ-consciousness instead of wrestling with self-consciousness?
*I’m still pondering what all of this looks like in the life of a Christian. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!