In the last couple of weeks we’ve explored how we need to notice our mental health and how important it is to talk about it with friends, family members, and professionals.
Now it’s time to do the work.
It would be nice if we could just take a nap or watch a little TV as our brains heal, but the reality is that we also need to do some hard things to get to better emotional health.
It’s going to look different for each individual, but here are some things we could work on:
Fight to counter any negative thinking with more positive thoughts. (2 Corinthians 10:5 says to “take every thought captive.”) Be realistic about the difficult aspects of life, but try to find ways to think about them that are more hopeful and productive.
Be sure to take prescribed medications on time, making sure not to skip any doses.
Attend a support group where we can talk to others who know what it’s like to have a mental illness. (Fresh Hope is a peer-led group with online resources at freshhope.us.)
Talk to a therapist and learn skills for dealing with stress and anxiety in healthy ways. Work on any homework the counselor gives us so we can apply the skills and maintain good mental health.
Don’t isolate. We need to reach out if our symptoms are getting worse. The sooner we can stop that downward spiral, the better off we’ll be.
Never give up hope! This will be harder some days than others, but we need to remember that our emotions ebb and flow. We can hold on until the dark times pass.
Living with a mental illness like anxiety or depression means we have to work harder at regulating our emotions than other people.
With practice and perseverance, it can get easier. It’s worth every ounce of effort we give it.
Keep working.
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Philippians 4:13 NKJV)
Do you find it hard to take actions as you deal with a mental illness? How can focusing on God help you keep working and get more healthy?
Now, in case you haven’t read that earlier post, I feel the need to emphasize again that I believe in taking medications for depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses. They can be vital in getting a person to a healthy place emotionally after their brain chemistry gets all messed up.
In some cases, people need to take medications indefinitely to make sure they remain stable and healthy. Sometimes people can go off their medicine once they get to a healthy place and have the tools and skills necessary to stay healthy. (Always check with your doctor and your family before you make a change to your meds, and be sure to wean off your medication over time. Going off cold turkey can be extremely dangerous.)
I’d like to be able to tell you that I’m doing wonderfully without medicine and I’ll never need it again, but the truth is that I’m not sure yet.
I keep seeing this picture in my mind: A tightrope stretches out in front of me and I’m moving slowly along, but I’m scared that at any moment the rope will begin to sway crazily, I’ll lose my balance, and I’ll come crashing down to the ground far below.
The more I focus on that image, the more wobbly I become.
Coming off the medicine back in September, I noticed some changes right away. I cried a bit more easily, but it wasn’t out of nowhere like it seemed to be when I was depressed. I had cried once in a while when I was on the medicine, but I usually had to be very stressed or upset about something before the tears came.
I also realized that my mood got quite a bit higher sometimes than it did when I was on the medicine. (I especially remember laughing hard about something when our daughter was around and she commented on it. It was fun to laugh, but I was a little embarrassed at the time.)
I think I’m still trying to figure out how much crying is “normal.” It feels pretty good to be moved to tears when I watch YouTube videos of servicemen and women coming home and surprising their families. I like tearing up when I watch a sad movie or hear about a sad situation on the news. What I don’t like is getting weepy when I’m frustrated or angry about something. That may be “normal,” too, but I don’t like it.
The jury is still out on whether I’ll need to go back on medication in the future. For now, I’m trying to enjoy both the laughter and the tears as I continue to practice the thinking skills I need so that I don’t get depressed again.
One thing I can do is tear down the tightrope in my mind. That image won’t do me any good if I continue to think about it. It will just set me up for failure as I analyze every little wobble in my life, sure that it will send me careening to the depths of despair.
Instead, I can replace the tightrope image with a picture of me with my feet firmly planted on solid ground, putting one foot in front of the other, and moving forward. If I get off balance a bit I may move a little bit sideways or I might even fall down, but it’s not going to be the catastrophic plunge I would have taken from high above the ground. It will just be a short fall that will be easy to recover from.
What about you? Do you take a medication for depression or anxiety? Have you taken one in the past, but now you don’t? Are you experiencing lots of symptoms and wonder if you should be taking a medication?
Remember, everyone’s experience with mental illness is different. Talk to your family about how you’re feeling. Discuss medications with your doctor. Keep your feet firmly on the ground and make sure you’re learning good skills for dealing with depression and anxiety – whether you take medicine or not.
And, most of all, remember that God loves you and knows exactly what you’re going through. He doesn’t love you more if you don’t take medicine, and he doesn’t love you less if you do. You can trust him to help you work with your family and doctors and do whatever keeps you healthy emotionally.
I’m staying off the tightrope, walking on solid ground, and trusting him to keep me moving in the right direction – with or without medicine.
“For we live [walk] by faith, not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7 NIV)
What do you think about taking medicines for mental illness? How can focusing on God help you to move ahead in faith, with or without the help of medications?
Do you ever feel uncomfortable during fellowship time after church? I sometimes do.
I look around the room at all of these people – people I’ve grown to know and love over this past year – and I get a bit anxious. Who do I talk to? If I go up and start talking with that group of people over there, will that other group of people think I’m snubbing them? If I stand alone, will everyone pity me? If I go up and join a group that’s already talking, will they have to change what they’re talking about to include me?
It’s silly, but it happens. And I’m guessing it’s not just me.
Sure, there are extroverts that thrive on connecting with as many people as they can talk to on a Sunday morning.
But then there are the introverts. We thrive on time alone, even if we enjoy talking with others sometimes. So some Sundays will be fine and we’ll chat with quite a few people during fellowship time. And there will be some Sundays when we look around and decide to head for the door.
Maybe just talking about it here will make it a bit easier.
After all, even Paul felt anxiety: “Besides everything else, I have a daily burden because of my anxiety about all the churches. ” (2 Corinthians 11:28 International Standard Version)
We can cut ourselves some slack and realize there will be times when we feel anxious.
We can show others lots of grace when we see them heading for the door instead of staying to talk during fellowship time. Some weeks, they just might not be able to handle the uncertainty of being in the crowd.
So, should we do away with fellowship time after church? Should we all just head for the comforts of home and bypass the possibly awkward interactions with others?
I think not, because there are many good things that happen during fellowship time.
Visitors are greeted (hopefully!) and introduced to people during this time.
Children play with their friends right by the oldest members of the church, and they are blessed just by seeing each other in this special place.
Often, hugs or tears are shared as people talk about something they’re going through, and they are encouraged and strengthened as they realize someone cares.
If you sometimes feel a bit anxious during fellowship time, here are a few things you can try:
Look around and find someone who is standing alone. They may be feeling a little of the anxiety you’re experiencing and will welcome having someone to talk to.
Try to develop a “There you are!” attitude, instead of a “Here I am!” mindset. “Here I am!” begs for people to notice us. We get upset and offended when they don’t go out of their way to connect with us. A “There you are!” attitude looks for someone who needs some love, encouragement, and connection.
Pray for the people you see all around you. Maybe you won’t even mind standing alone if you can learn to just enjoy watching others interacting while you silently pray for them by name.
Remember that everyone feels a little social anxiety at times. Take a deep breath, smile, and start talking to someone. You just might feel your anxiety disappear as you get to know your fellow church members better.
(And if none of those ideas work, you can always just head for the door and see if next week feels better!)
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV)
Do you ever feel anxious during fellowship time at church? How can focusing on God help you to see the great benefits of spending time with other believers after the worship service?
