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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Fighting the Panic

Gary and I spent some time in the Black Hills of South Dakota this week. We enjoyed some time away and did some hiking.

One morning we started at Mt. Moriah Cemetery and hiked to the White Rocks near Deadwood, SD. The first part of the trail wasn’t bad, but after a while we came to this fork.

Gary headed up the hill and I followed. It got more steep the further we went. I started to imagine my boot slipping and a long fall back down to the road. I went slower and slower and finally I could go no more. I couldn’t take another step and I couldn’t imagine turning around and walking down that steep incline.

Tears came and I finally just turned around and sat down. I scooted forward a few inches at a time, fighting unsuccessfully to stop crying. Gary called down from above, “Just stand up!” He could see another narrow path off to my left that I could take and it wouldn’t be as steep. I scooted a few more feet and finally was able to stand and find the other trail.

Here’s Gary on the trail I eventually took. The burned log to the right was as far as I got on the steep trail.
Here’s the top of the steep trail. We both took the more gradual path on the way down.

I really think I talked myself into a little panic attack before I had to sit down on the trail. Sure, the trail was pretty steep, but I’ve done lots of hiking. It wasn’t super dangerous and I probably wouldn’t have gotten badly hurt if I had fallen, but I kept picturing myself slipping and falling with each tentative step.

When I started crying, part of it was from fear, but a big part of it was disgust at myself for having to turn around and admit defeat.

At least there was another path, and it was only a few feet away. Once I stood up and moved forward again, I felt better.

I’m glad I pressed on. This is the view that we enjoyed at the top:

White Rocks by Deadwood, SD

This experience reminded me, once again, that how we think affects how we feel.

I couldn’t make it up the hill because I was thinking, “I’m going to fall…This is too steep…I can’t do this!”

Gary made it up that trail. Other hikers had gone before us and formed it. Even now, I wonder if I could have made it if I had fought the panic and tried thinking, “I can do this! This isn’t so bad. I’ve hiked in lots of steep places before.”

Maybe I’ll give it another shot if we ever go hiking there again, but for now I can work on fighting the panic* that threatens to derail me once in a while in my everyday life.

In those moments, I can practice saying, “God’s with me. I’m okay. I can figure this out. This isn’t the end of the world. I can handle anything that happens.”

And then I can enjoy a sense of accomplishment once I get through it.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” (Isaiah 41:10 NIV)

Have you ever fought feelings of panic? How can focusing on God help you to calm down and move forward in spite of your fears?

*Please note: I’ve never had a true panic attack, and I’m not trying to make light of them at all. If you experience the debilitating symptoms of panic attacks, you may need to talk to your doctor or a therapist and get more help than just thinking positively.

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Letting the King Order Our Days

I love it when a verse pops out at me while I’m doing devotions in the morning.

Today I was reading in Nehemiah. There are many lists of names in that Old Testament book, so it can be hard to stay focused and find something inspirational.

All of a sudden, I noticed this sentence about the musicians: “They were under royal orders, which determined their daily activities.” (Nehemiah 11:23 NLT)

That thought really hit me and I’ve been pondering it all day. Am I letting the King determine my daily activities?

Way too often I drift through my days, jumping from one activity to another and not really accomplishing anything of significance.

What if I were to let God (my King) order my days?

My day might end up being more satisfying if I woke up in the morning and asked, “God, what do you want me to do today?”

When I feel that familiar wave of boredom wash over me, I might be able to ride on top of it instead of being drowned by it if I would just ask my King what he wants me to do next.

He might prompt me to work hard on my latest writing project.

He might suggest that I write a letter to a friend.

He might tell me I need to relax and watch a movie with my husband.

The possibilities are endless, but we need to develop the habit of asking God, “What now?”

We only have a certain number of days here on this earth. Imagine all we could accomplish if we let the King order each of those days.

“The musicians were under the king’s orders, which regulated their daily activity.” (Nehemiah 11:23 NIV)

Who determines your daily activities? How can focusing on God help you to find fulfillment in every day?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on a Restart

I hate it when I have to start over.

Whether it’s a writing project, an exercise routine, or healthy eating, it stinks when I get off track and let all of my hard work go to waste.

I’ve especially been noticing it in my eating habits lately. For a long time, I was making healthier choices and cutting out between-meal snacks.

For the last week or so, I’ve found myself in the kitchen way too often, consuming handfuls of M&Ms and marshmallows at all hours of the day. Why?

Is it stress? Is it boredom? It’s certainly not hunger. I guess I have some work to do as I look at what’s sending me to the kitchen.

But that’s not what I want to focus on right now. What I want us to consider is the fact that we can always start over, even if we do it fifty times in one day.

I don’t have to throw in the towel and pig out this weekend, telling myself I’ll start again on Monday. I can declare a restart right now and get back to making smart decisions about what I’m eating and when I eat.

If you’ve gotten into the habit of hitting the snooze five times in the mornings, you can declare a restart and get up the first time your alarm rings tomorrow morning.

If you’ve quit going to the gym or taking your daily run, you can declare a restart and do some kind of exercise tomorrow.

If you’ve fallen into the miserable habit of complaining about everything that happens to you during a typical day, you can declare a restart and start noticing things to be thankful for instead.

We don’t have to wait until next week, next month, or next year. Let’s declare a restart and get back on track!

“Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” (Romans 12:1–2 NIV)

Have you gotten off track in any area of your life? How can focusing on God help you to declare a restart and get back to better ways of doing things?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Freedom

I write about my struggles and failures quite often for Focus Friday. I don’t mind doing that because I figure it just may help someone else who is going through a similar situation.

But the other day, I was reminded that people don’t constantly want to see that in other people’s lives. They want to see victory, too.

Here’s the quote I heard in episode five (“Anger Must Fall”) of Goliath Must Fall by Louie Giglio (it’s available on RightNow Media if you want to watch it yourself):

“God doesn’t get glory from our lives when there’s a giant with its foot on our neck….When we’re always talking about the downside of life, the weakness of life, the thing we wish we could change about life. We’re not giving God glory as an ultimate savior, a defender, and a fighter and a champion in our lives.”

So I thought I’d brag on God a little bit this week and tell you a few good things happening in my life.

My emotional health keeps improving. Sure, there are ups and downs, but the general trajectory is upward. When I have a bad day I don’t turn it into a bad week. God has been teaching me all kinds of things about myself and about life. I give him all the glory when I am able to catch negative thoughts and emotions. He gives me the ability to find the distortions in some of my thoughts and turn them around. He helps me really feel the negative emotions that bubble up at times, spending an appropriate amount of time with them and then choosing thoughts that will lead to more positive emotions.

My physical health is better. I’ve been experimenting with what I’m eating and how I’m moving in recent months, and I’m seeing changes in the right direction. Slow, steady growth in this area is important as I make little changes that will last. I don’t want to get bogged down in what the scale says, so I’m focusing on how much God loves me just the way I am right now. That said, I feel like he’s helping me choose better things to do with my urges to overeat. That feels good, even if the scale doesn’t reflect huge changes.

I’m making progress on my book. Most of you know that I’ve been working on a book about my experience with depression and how we can all stay healthy emotionally. I’ve been putting in a little more time on it lately and I’m seeing the word count go up (funny how that works!). The giant of fear has been standing with its foot on my neck in this area for a long time, but I am finally allowing God to be my champion. He has the power to keep that giant at bay.

I’m not saying that life is perfect all the time. I’m finally realizing that life is a mixture of good and bad, positive and negative. That’s okay. God is with us through all of it. We can lean on him during the hard times and praise him in the good times. (We can also praise him during the hard times and lean on him in the good times.)

I’ll keep sharing inspiration and ideas for getting through the difficult parts of life, but never forget that we are all free because of what Jesus Christ did for us. Isn’t that awesome?

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1 NIV)

Are you bogged down by life’s problems? How can focusing on God help you to live in freedom, even in the midst of hard times?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Too Many Choices

I’ve never liked making choices.

I’m usually afraid I’ll make the wrong decision and end up regretting something.

I thought I was making progress in this area, getting a little more confident at making choices, but I found out that I still have some work to do.

Our son is moving soon and I’m planning to make his room into my office. Right now my desk is in the living room. It works, but I’m sure I would get so much more writing done if I had my own room.

I started to dream about what I could do with my own space. A comfy chair? A new bookshelf? Inspiring artwork on the walls?

What about a new color for those walls? My friend said she’d help with the project if I picked up some paint, so I stopped by the store the other day, thinking it wouldn’t take long to grab a gallon.

I thought maybe I’d pick out a color to match the graphic for my online Facebook group.

I made my way to the paint section, pulled up the graphic on my phone, and started to look at the color samples from several brands of paint. Nothing looked even close to my color and it only took about two minutes for me to feel anxious and overwhelmed.

Tears threatened as I pulled a couple of sample cards from the racks. My mind began to spin as I was faced with too many choices. Thankfully, Gary joined me at about that time and suggested I wait until after we moved Blake. Then I could get the paint and do the project right away. I was relieved that I didn’t have to decide, but I was also a bit shaken.

Something I thought would be fun and easy had turned into something stressful and difficult.

I could see some parallels to other situations in my life. As I looked at the paint samples, one of the loudest thoughts in my brain was, “I can’t do this.” I wanted to scrap the whole idea of painting the room just because I couldn’t decide on a color and I was afraid I’d pick the wrong one.

I can think of more than one area of life where I’m tempted to say, “I can’t do this” and I avoid the project because I’m afraid I won’t do it right.

On the way out to the car the other day, I could feel a part of my brain trying to reason with the part that was panicking. “It’s just a color. You can pick anything. It doesn’t have to be perfect.” That’s so true.

I could stick with the neutral color that’s already in the room, but now I think I have to paint it. Going into my robin’s egg blue office (or whatever shade of blue I end up with) will remind me that I dared to make a decision, and I think that will bring me lots of joy.

Maybe it will even inspire me to make decisions in other areas of life where there are too many choices.

“In that day you will no longer ask me anything. Very truly I tell you, my Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.” (John 16:23–24 NIV)

Do you have trouble making choices? How can focusing on God help you to ask him for wisdom as you choose?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on the Right Perspective

Sometimes we don’t see things from the right perspective.

The other day we drove past a church. I looked at the sign, looked at the building, and thought to myself, “That’s a pretty small church.”

Driving on, I looked over my shoulder and saw it from a different perspective. It actually was a very big church.

I marveled at how wrong I was, all because I judged that place of worship from the wrong perspective.

When I saw it as small, I was tempted to dismiss it as less important and lacking somehow.

When I saw how big it actually was, I was impressed and assumed they were effective in ministry.

The truth is, no matter how I was looking at it, I had no idea what that church was actually like. Big or small, from the outside looking in I could only make assumptions. To really know what that church was like I would have to go inside, meet the people, and experience a worship service.

Don’t we do the same thing with people?

We look at someone from one perspective and they seem to be lacking. We dismiss them after a quick, judgmental glance.

Then we see them from another angle and we’re more impressed. They have so much going for them, so they must be worth knowing. The truth is, we really don’t know what that person is like until we get to know them better.

We can despise someone just because we don’t like the way they look or how they talk. We may admire someone else because they’re good-looking and say all the right things.

But the person we consider plain may have a heart of gold. They may end up being the most fiercely loyal friend we’ve ever had.

The attractive person may be so toxic we can’t stand to be around them. Their smooth talk may cover up a mountain of insecurities.

Or vice versa. We just won’t know until we spend time with that person and experience life with them.

The Holy Spirit will guide us as we deepen some relationships and terminate others.

No matter what someone looks like or how they act, we can try to see them as someone God loves. (Because he does!)

It all comes down to seeing others from the right perspective.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8–9 NIV)

Do you see others from the wrong perspective? Are you dismissive and judgmental, or do you see people as loved and full of potential? How can focusing on God help you to see them as he sees them?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Life, Unedited

Today I edited some video clips into a two-minute movie to show our church members how to install our online church directory on their phones. Our administrative assistant, Melissa, and I had recorded about six parts that had to be pieced together to produce a coherent message.

She did a great job explaining, but at one point we had to switch from my son’s phone to another friend’s phone because he didn’t have space available for the app. The first part of one clip was good, but there was a little goof toward the end. We stopped and started that part over. I clipped and moved and added titles to clarify a couple of steps.

I watched and tweaked it about ten times before I was satisfied that it would sound and look good on Sunday morning. Done!

Do you ever wish you could edit your life?

I sure do.

It would be nice to always have people see me at my best.

When I stumble over my words or say something hurtful, it would be awesome if I could move the marker back in time, cut out my blunder, and start over.

I could scrub broken ankles, bouts with depression, and car accidents from my timeline.

Hours and hours of time frittered away scrolling social media could be deleted and only the productive moments would remain.

We all know that’s not how life works. We’re stuck living out every second of the life we’ve been given—the good, the bad, the exciting, and the boring.

Living life unedited can inspire others. Not trying to hide our failures and setbacks can encourage people to keep going when they have similar experiences.

Let’s do our best and enjoy the life we’re living—in all its unedited glory.

“We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way.” (Colossians 1:9–10 NIV)

Do you ever wish you could edit your life? How can focusing on God help you to do your best and live life unedited?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Comparison

Comparison never ends well.

Either we feel terrible because we feel like we don’t measure up, or we feel pride because we think we’re so much better than someone else.

If you’re anything like me, you’ve probably been tempted to compare yourself to others in so many areas of life:

Physical appearance.

Intelligence.

Ambition.

Accomplishments.

Talents.

Personality.

When I’m comparing, the focus is all on me.

Author Shannon Popkin says that measuring yourself against others isn’t healthy and it isn’t God’s plan. Instead, we can choose Jesus’s me-free way of living: lifting others up and pouring ourselves out. Doesn’t that sound like a more peaceful way to live?

With that in mind, I’d like to invite you to join me in a seven week study of Comparison Girl: Lessons from Jesus on Me-Free Living in a Measure-Up World by Shannon Popkin. We’ll begin on Tuesday, July 6 at 6:30 p.m. Central and end on August 17. We’ll meet together on Zoom. (The link will be posted in my free Facebook group: Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder or you can message me and I’ll email you the link.)

If you can’t join us for this study, I hope you’ll check out Shannon’s book and go through it by yourself or with a friend.

My ten-day-old grandson, Halston, helped me make a little invitation video with a couple more thoughts about comparison. You can check it out below. (I know I just said we’re not supposed to compare, but I think Halston may just be the cutest baby ever!)

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Philippians 2:3–4 NIV)

Are you tempted to compare yourself to others? How can focusing on God help you to do your best and look for ways you can pour yourself out for others instead?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on New Life

Gary and I became grandparents this week. Halston James Hodge was born on Tuesday. He’s healthy and precious and so very cute. Our daughter Erin and her husband, Ayden, are thrilled. So are we.

I’ve been marveling at it all week. A brand new human has entered this wonderful, chaotic world. He’s innocent and blissfully unaware of the negative aspects of life on this planet. He just enjoys the love and care of his parents. When he cries, they feed him, or change him, or comfort him.

I can’t wait to see how his personality develops as he grows up. I’m amazed that I can love someone I haven’t even met yet (but I will very soon!).

His future is full of amazing possibilities.

I can’t help but think about the new life we have when we make Jesus our Lord. His sacrifice on the cross took away the penalty for all of our sins—past, present, and future. Even though we’re aware of the negative aspects of this world and the problems that can plague us, we don’t have to be afraid. We can grow up in our faith, knowing that nothing can separate us from our Father’s love for us.

Our future is full of amazing possibilities.

Congratulations, Erin and Ayden, as you welcome Halston into your family. We’ll be praying for all of you!

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)

Aren’t babies amazing? How can focusing on God help you to remember the new life you have in Christ and live into the possibilities God has for you?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Enjoying Time Away

(This is the view from my parents’ house in Tennessee.)

I’m on vacation this week.

It’s strange, though, because I’m by myself.

Gary and I usually take trips together, but we decided I could just book a flight and go visit my parents and sister in Tennessee this week. Flying for the first time in about eighteen months was fun, but I missed sharing the experience with my husband.

Visiting my parents is nice, but I find myself fighting feelings of guilt for going off for a week and leaving my hubby to work and take care of things at home while I’m gone.

He’s not helpless and I know he’ll do fine, so I’m trying to just enjoy my time away. I’m taking long walks and spending time talking with my mom and dad and helping them do a few things around the house while I’m here.

As I’ve wrestled with my thoughts, I’m realizing that we often do this (or is it just me?).

When we’re working, we wish we could be playing.

When we’re playing, we feel guilty about the work we should be doing.

When we’re at home, we put off the tasks and responsibilities we have and fill our time with activities that can often be meaningless.

And when we’re taking time away, we too often think about all of the projects we left undone back at home.

If only we could focus completely on whatever we’re doing, balancing our work and play so that our tasks get done and we also enjoy our free time.

When I get back home, I’ll practice working hard when it’s time to work and enjoying my time off when it’s time to relax.

For now, I’m going to make sure I enjoy the rest of my time away.

“I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.” (Ecclesiastes 3:12–13 NIV)

Do you enjoy your time away, or are you distracted by the work you left behind? How can focusing on God help you to work when it’s time to work and relax when it’s time to relax?