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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Three Steps Forward

Back in 1997, Chuck Swindoll published a book called Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back. I don’t know if it’s an actual saying that people use now. When I tried to look it up, the closest I got was “One step forward, two steps back.” Now that’s a discouraging thought, trying to move ahead and ending up even further behind than when you began.

What got me thinking about all of this was my scale. I had a couple of really good weeks a while back, watching what I was eating and exercising a little bit more. The scale went down two weeks in a row and I was feeling great. I was sure that I was on my way to going down a pants size and losing the rest of the pounds I had allowed to creep on over the last few years.

Then we moved Blake to Chicago.

I skipped exercising for several days.

We ate out while we were on the road.

Klondike bars were on sale at the grocery store by Blake’s apartment, so we just had to get some and eat three in one day because there was no way to take them with us on the bus and the L when we headed back to our hotel.

When we got home and I weighed myself, I found that all of the pounds I had lost were back. Bummer.

So what I want us to focus on this week is “Three steps forward.”

For a couple of weeks I made good choices and dropped some pounds. That’s good progress.

If I focus on the “Two steps back” that happened because we traveled and I made lots of poor choices, I might decide to just give up and not worry about my weight at all. But that wouldn’t be good for my physical or emotional health.

Instead, I’m going to focus on the “Three steps forward” and remind myself that better choices and hard work produce good results. It’s inevitable. I can’t give up just because I slid back a couple of steps.

We can apply that to any area of our lives.

We learn to control our temper and don’t yell at our children for two weeks straight, then we have a bad morning and totally blow it, scaring our kids with a giant temper tantrum.

Focus on the “Three steps forward.” Apologize to your children and move ahead with the resolve to do your best and be as calm as you can be. Not perfect, but better.

We decide to get our overspending under control and refuse to shop online for a whole month, then our favorite store sends out an email with an amazing sale and a super coupon, and we order enough to get free shipping.

Focus on the “Three steps forward.” Unsubscribe from the store’s email list and either enjoy your purchases or maybe return some of it next time you go to the store. Not rich, but less poor.

We go to work, clean the house, and keep on top of the bills and laundry for six months straight, then we call in sick, binge-watch Netflix all day, and let everything fall to pieces around us.

Focus on the “Three steps forward.” Go back to work, do the dishes, and save Netflix for a treat on the weekend. Not a workaholic, but a hard worker who enjoys life.

Whenever we have a setback – physically, emotionally, or spiritually – we have to focus on the “Three steps forward” we’ve made, not the “Two steps back” (or more!). Only that focus will help us to press on and not give up.

“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14 ESV)

Have you fallen “two steps back”? How can focusing on God help you to focus instead on the “three steps forward” you’ve made?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Crashing

Monday morning started out so nice. It was a beautiful morning, so I rode my bike down to the bakery and had coffee with two of my friends. After that I rode over to one of their houses to see her new puppy. Such a cutie!

I took the long way home and pedaled across town. I got a block from home, started to turn the corner, and CRASH!

All of a sudden I was lying on my side in the street, wondering what had happened. I gingerly got to my feet and lifted my bike from the ground. My entire right side was covered in mud and I realized that I had landed mostly on my shoulder.

I had tipped just a bit too far to the right while I turned the corner, going through some mud and water (it had rained the night before). Just like that, my bike had slid out from under me and I had landed – hard – on my right side.

When I got on the bike I found out that the chain had come off, so I got off and walked my bike slowly down the block back to our house.

I peeled off my muddy clothes and took a shower to get the gravel off my bloody hand (just a little scratch), my arm, and out of my hair. I found out I had a couple of bloody scrapes by my right knee and a bit of road rash on the back of my arm, but other than that, I was fine. It could have been so much worse.

As the day wore on, it was worse. It was surprising how I gradually got more stiff and sore as the hours went by.

And the next day proved to be even more painful. I was popping ibuprofen quite a bit, and I even had to ask Gary to get me some when I woke up at 5 a.m. on Wednesday and could hardly stand the pain. I developed a really pretty purple bruise on my right thigh (sorry, no picture, you’ll have to take my word for it).

I’ve been thinking about how much I used to take my pain-free, healthy body for granted.

Every time I try to raise my arm to do something and my shoulder protests – loudly – I realize how much I just expected that I could work and play so easily.

I think of friends who have had shoulder surgery and think about the years of pain they had to endure before they had the surgery, and the time they spent recovering.

I’ve also been thinking metaphorically about crashes and how often we don’t feel all of the pain at the time of the “crash.” It might take a little time before the shock wears off and we feel the full effects of what has happened.

After I had my bike crash, I thought I mostly hurt my shoulder, but in the days since then I have felt more pain in my entire neck. All of those muscles were jarred, and they’re all going to complain a bit until I heal.

When we have a figurative “crash” in our lives, we may think just one problem occurred: one person’s job was lost, one person’s health suffered, one person passed away, one person made a poor choice that resulted in some sort of crash.

It doesn’t take long to realize that those crashes produce all sorts of pain in other people’s lives and other areas of our own lives. We have to be aware of where we hurt and be prepared to do something about the pain if we need to.

At this point, I’m pretty sure I just have sore muscles, but if I had had excruciating pain in my arm or shoulder I would have gone to the doctor to get checked out. I need to take some medicine for the pain and make sure I’m not overdoing it with using my right side until it heals.

If we have emotional pain from sort of crash in our lives, we also have to get it treated if it’s severe or if it lingers for a long time. We need to cut ourselves some slack and take it easy while we heal from any kind of “crash” in our lives.

We may have some visible (or invisible) scars from our crash, but with some time we’ll be able to move on and continue life’s journey.

My bike seat will never be the same after my crash.

If we live life at all, we’re probably going to experience some crashes. They’re so difficult, but they also teach us. They teach us to get back up. They teach us to empathize with others. They teach us to have compassion. They teach us to slow down and then keep going.

And they teach us to make sure we’re careful and riding straight when we go through a muddy puddle on our bike.

“My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word. ” (Psalm 119:28 NIV)

Have you experienced a “crash” in life lately? How can focusing on God help you to get through it and move on after you’ve healed?

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Splendid Sunday: Let’s Focus on Going Off Meds

I need to start this week’s post with a huge warning:

Do not ever, ever, ever go off your prescribed medication without talking to your doctor and your family members first.

There, with that said…I’m going off my medication for depression.

I wasn’t sure if I should blog about this topic already or wait until later after I see what happens. I thought it might be helpful for you to hear about how I came to this decision and what I plan to do to make sure I stay healthy in the future.

It has been almost five years since I was hospitalized for depression. Aside from some trials and tweaking in those first months of getting better, I’ve been on a 10 mg daily dose of generic Lexapro ever since September of 2014. That medicine has been so helpful in getting me to a healthy emotional place again after that very frightening time of hopelessness.

I urge people to take the medicines they’re prescribed for depression and other mental illnesses. I know how much meds can help people stabilize their emotions. So, why would I consider going off my medication?

First of all, Lexapro has a couple of minor side effects for me. Nothing too bothersome, but I’m curious to see if those would go away after I’m off the medicine.

I’m on quite a low dose. Part of me wonders if I can wean off it and still be okay.

I’m a different person emotionally now than I was four or five years ago. I know myself better and I’ve been practicing better ways of thinking and acting. I’d like to try life without the medicine and see how it goes.

I talked with my doctor about the possibility and she thought it would be fine to give it a try. She told me how to go off the medicine safely.

I talked with my husband about it before I even brought it up with the doctor. He’s a bit unsure, afraid I won’t listen to him if he thinks it would be good for me to go back on it. We had a good conversation and I promised to be willing to go back on the medicine if I start getting depressed again. (But I also explained that I don’t want to go back on it the first time I cry over something silly. It may take a few weeks to completely get out of my system. We’ll keep talking about it in the months ahead.)

I have a good support system in place. Gary and I lead a Fresh Hope support group twice a month. It’s a place where I can share what’s going on emotionally with people who understand. They’ll give me good feedback if I start back on that downhill slide and need to go back on the medication. I have other friends, too, that feel comfortable talking with me about mental health. We can all support each other.

To be honest, I haven’t specifically prayed about this decision. I know, that’s probably where I should have started, but I haven’t felt any warnings from the Holy Spirit as I’ve thought about it recently. I’ll try to be a little more deliberate in my prayers about it in the weeks ahead.

I didn’t write this post to shake people up. (She’s going off her meds, maybe I should go off mine!) I wanted to write it to remind all of us that we have to live our own lives. I want to try life without medicine, but I fully understand and support people that need to take medication all their lives. (That may even be me…I guess we’ll find out in a month or two.) We need to learn and grow and figure out how to live the best lives we can, with God’s help and the support of our family and friends.

All of us need to talk to God about what’s going on with us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. That’s the most important thing. If we just rely on our own thoughts and feelings we’ll be bouncing all over the place, unable to move ahead in healthy ways. Staying in constant communication with God will help us be wise and healthy in every possible way.

With or without medication.

“Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” (Proverbs 3:7-8 NIV)

Do you wonder about going off meds sometimes (or some other big decision)? How can focusing on God help you to make decisions with his wisdom instead of your own (sometimes) flawed thinking?

*And once again…do NOT stop taking a medication without talking to your doctor, especially quitting cold turkey. That can be so dangerous for your mental and physical health! There are safer ways to wean off a medicine if you and your doctor think you may be ready for it.

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Doing the Work

This is probably going to feel like a rerun for most of you. Taking action seems to be a frequent theme for these Focus Friday posts. I know I need constant reminders, maybe you do, too.

My mind is on “doing the work” because I attended a writers conference last weekend and pitched my book idea to agent Cynthia Ruchti. (The book is about my experience with depression and how we can all stay healthy emotionally.) She expressed an interest in seeing my book proposal when I get it finished. Exciting, right? You would think I would have rushed home, opened my computer, and finished that proposal immediately.

But no, that’s not how I roll.

I did spend one to two hours working on the proposal this week, but that’s the extent of it. There were some other things I had to work on, but I have to admit that I also wasted quite a bit of time doing things that weren’t really necessary.

If we want to get things done, we have to do the work.

If we want to clean and organize our houses, we have to schedule time to clear away the clutter, put things away, and put some elbow grease into making things shine. It won’t get done while we sit on the couch and watch Netflix.

If we want to lose some extra pounds, we need to move a little more and eat a little less. We might need to figure out why we run to food when we aren’t really hungry. We have to do the work or we’ll never see a difference in our waistline.

If we want to write a book, we need to get our bottom in the chair, open a document, and write. The words won’t magically appear just because we think about them once in a while.

If we want to improve a relationship, we need to make some choices about what we’re saying, how we’re acting, and why we love that person. We want it to be easy, but relationships take work.

Whatever you want to do in life, you might as well admit that it’s going to take work. As Proverbs 14: 23 says, “All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.” This could refer to financial profit and poverty, but I think it could also be talking about the profit of good results in our lives (a clean house, a healthier body, a book, a better relationship) as opposed to the lack of results (a pigsty, extra pounds, no book, a poor relationship).

As soon as I get this post done, I’m going to go schedule in some writing time for this weekend. That proposal is not going to get done unless I make sure I’m doing the work.

“May the favor of the Lord our God rest on us; establish the work of our hands for us— yes, establish the work of our hands. ” (Psalm 90:17 NIV)

Do you have something that’s not getting done because you just aren’t doing the work? How can focusing on God help you to take steps to do it instead of just thinking about it?

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Wonderful Wednesday: Let’s Focus on Connecting

I attended the Northwestern Christian Writers Conference last weekend in St. Paul, Minnesota. I probably could have squeezed in some time to blog on Focus Friday, but I didn’t. And, to be honest, I almost forgot that I hadn’t blogged over the weekend. I thought of it again this morning and decided to do a quick post tonight.

Let’s focus on connecting, shall we?

On the way to St. Paul I stopped to chat and have lunch with my friend Nancy in Edgerton, MN. She likes to write, too, and we had a great time reconnecting.

I tried to stop and connect with another couple in Edgerton, but they weren’t home. I left a note under their mat and left town. Ten minutes down the road, they called me, disappointed that we hadn’t connected. We chatted for a few minutes and promised to see each other sometime soon.

When I got to St. Paul, I met my roommate at the hotel. Jenny and I had been online acquaintances in Write That Book (Tricia Goyer’s Facebook subscription group), but it was so good to meet in person and start to share about our writing journeys and experience the conference together.

At the conference, I got to meet Robin Jones Gunn in person, say hi to my friend Ann Kroeker, and pitch my book idea to agent Cynthia Ruchti (I had already told her about it two years ago, but she graciously listened to me again and invited me to send her the proposal when I finish it).

I met lots of new people and even saw a couple of friends I knew from when I attended the Cedar Falls Christian Writers Conference in years past.

At lunchtime, I sat down on a bench to eat my box lunch and was joined by another woman on the next bench. We started talking and she turned out to be from a town in South Dakota about a half hour from me. Only God could make that connection out of the hundreds of people attending the conference.

At the end of the conference, I met another Write That Book member and Jenny and I were invited out to eat with Gail and her group of writer friends. It was so good to talk shop and hear about everyone’s hopes and dreams as far as their writing goes.

(Jenny is on the far left and Gail is sitting just to my right – so nice to meet her friends, too!)

On the way home, God led me to stop and worship at New Creation Church in North Mankato, MN. I was blessed by their friendliness and the inspiring worship service (first in English, and then I stayed for the Spanish service).

I met my best friend from college at McDonald’s in Luverne, MN. Barb and I caught up on our kids, our jobs, and so much more. Then another friend from college showed up by chance and we talked for a while. When we all stood up to leave, I noticed a lady standing close to me… “Carol!” It was the friend I had tried to stop and see in Edgerton on Friday. She and her husband just happened to be there, so I hugged Barb goodbye and sat and talked with my friends while they ate their lunch.

As I drove the rest of the way home, my heart was so full. All of the connections I had made throughout the weekend–with friends old and new–reminded me of how important relationships are.

I realized, too, that I had connected more with God throughout the weekend than I had been lately at home. The speakers emphasized how much God needs to be a part of our writing process and the reason we write. My roommate and I prayed for our opportunities during the weekend. I saw God in so many ways as I met people and listened to His voice more closely.

I consider myself an introvert, and I like doing things by myself at home, but weekends like this one confirm the fact that we all need each other.

The workshops I went to at the conference gave me knowledge, hope, and inspiration for my writing. Meeting new people and realizing that they could become my friends was exciting. Renewing old friendships felt so good and prompted me to keep reaching out as God directs me, through letters, phone calls, and visits.

When I arrived home, it felt very good to hug all of my boys. They survived a weekend without me, and it was awesome to reconnect with Gary, Blake, and Dylan. Our girls are farther away, but I’m going to make sure I’m connecting with them on a regular basis, too.

Here we all are at Blake’s graduation from Northwestern College in Orange City, Iowa in May.

As all of us connect with God, I believe our connections with others will be deeper and richer. Thanks for connecting with me here, and I pray that your connections will bring you lots of joy in the days ahead.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:24-25 NIV)

Do you enjoy connecting with others, or are you more of a loner? How can focusing on God help you to connect more richly with others?

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Super Saturday: Let’s Focus on Recognizing the Caller

The other day I was out working in my garden when I got a phone call.

“I didn’t think I wanted to talk to anyone from Iowa, but it turns out I did!” she said.

I laughed and told her that happens a lot.

That’s why I leave messages when I call people here in South Dakota. I know they might not pick up when they see an Iowa number on their phone, but most of them will listen to my message and call me back after they realize I’m not a telemarketer. I suppose I should probably switch to a local number, but for now I’m sticking with my old one.

With the recent explosion of robocalls, it’s understandable that most people don’t answer a call from a number they don’t recognize.

I usually do answer with a suspicious “Hello?”, ready to hang up on “Sarah” or “Rachel” or any other recorded voice selling who knows what.

But every once in a while I’m surprised when the call is from someone I know. I just didn’t have them in my phone as a contact, so I didn’t recognize them.

All of this phone stuff got me thinking about how sometimes we don’t recognize God when He calls us.

We hear a verse, or a sermon, or a song, and God is trying talk to us, but it’s not familiar to us so we ignore it.

Something happens to us, and God is trying speak to us, but it’s painful or difficult so we figure there’s no way it could be God.

A thought runs through our mind about something we need to change in our lives, and the Holy Spirit is trying to gently correct us, but we don’t really want to change so we shake it off and continue living the exact same way.

We don’t recognize the caller, so we don’t answer.

But God has left a message, dear friends. His message is in the Bible, it’s in the words of trusted friends, and it’s in the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit.

You may not recognize the caller at first, but if you listen to the message, you’ll hear his loving voice and you’ll realize you really do want to talk to him .

He definitely wants to talk to you! Make sure you answer next time he calls.

“The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out. When he has brought out all his own, he goes on ahead of them, and his sheep follow him because they know his voice.” (John 10:2-4 NIV)

Do you recognize God’s voice when He calls? How can focusing on God help you to recognize Him in more and more areas of your life? Will you answer next time He calls?

*By the way, did you know that God has a phone number? He does! It’s Jeremiah 33:3…

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” (Jeremiah 33:3 NIV)

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Getting Started

Getting started on something is seldom easy.

There is uncertainty, hard work, and lots of change.

Our son Blake graduated from Northwestern College in Orange City, Iowa in May. His dream is to live and work in Chicago and do some acting. And so, here we are in the Windy City, riding the “L” and city buses as we’ve looked at all sorts of apartment possibilities for him. Today he made his final choice and he was approved!

The apartment hunt has taken up most of our time, but we also have been doing a bit of sightseeing.

Here we are on Navy Pier…we were so busy looking at apartments that we didn’t take more pictures!

We’ll be back on August 1 to help him move in and get settled.

As a mom, I’m excited for him, but it’s also pretty scary to know he’ll be working and living in such a big city. I have a month to teach him everything he doesn’t know yet! (Thank goodness for Google)

Now that he has a place to live lined up, he can begin his job search in earnest. I don’t know if he’s nervous or scared, but I know he’s willing to do whatever it takes to pursue this dream and get started in Chicago. That will probably mean some kind of day job and trying to get into some acting on the side.

I’m proud of him. The safest route would be to pick a smaller city and get an easy job. Instead, he’s embarking on an uncertain and scary journey, but one that will also be exciting and hopefully rewarding.

All of us need to look at our lives once in a while and think about where we are. Have we slipped into comfortable patterns in our jobs, habits, and relationships? Do we need to get started in something new?

Is God calling us to a new job that will help us stretch and grow?

Are there new habits that will serve us better than the ones we turn to mindlessly?

Will new ways of communicating help us grow closer to our spouse or other family members?

Getting started can be hard work. It’s scary. We can’t be sure of our results. What we do know is that God is with us all the time. We can step out in faith, trusting Him to guide us and redirect us if something isn’t working.

Gary and I know that God will be with Blake as he makes this move and gets started in the next chapter of his life. How exciting!

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9 ESV)

Is it time for you to be getting started with something new in life? How can focusing on God help you to do that bravely, knowing He’s with you every step of the way?

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Spectacular Sunday: Let’s Focus on Hiking Together

I fully intended to get back to Focus Friday after my Terrific Tuesday last week, but it seems that moods don’t magically lift just because you write a blog post about them.

Friday was a rough day. I had trouble focusing and I felt like I was going to the cupboard constantly even though I wasn’t hungry. When our daughter Erin called, I got a little weepy for no reason, and I thought about just going to bed at about seven o’clock instead of going over to practice for praise team at church. We were supposed to go play cards with our friends after that and I was afraid I would be too down and weepy to have any fun.

I gave myself a little pep talk and went over to church. Amazingly, I felt much better by the time we got done practicing. The words of the songs went right to my heart and I remembered how much God loves me and how much I need to “Trust and Obey,” even when I don’t feel like it.

The card playing went well. Us girls beat the guys in two out of three games of cribbage. I don’t know, maybe I would have cried if we had lost all three, but spending time with our friends got me out of my head and into a better place emotionally.

That’s what I want us to focus on this week. Doing life together, not staying isolated and just thinking of ourselves, and helping each other along life’s way.

I got to experience some of that recently when Gary and I took a couple of days to visit the Black Hills.

We had to begin our time visiting some famous faces, of course. We hiked around the little loop trail that lets you get close enough to look up into the presidents’ noses. We talked to a few people from other parts of the country, visiting Mount Rushmore for the first time.

We pitched our little tent at a primitive campground and got up the next morning ready to do some serious hiking. We got our poles, hats, and packs ready and headed out to hike to Black Elk Peak (formerly Harney Peak).

On the way up I thought about how much better it is when we hike with others. I mean, hiking alone is fine, but there’s something about sharing the experience with someone special that makes it even better.

Part way up Gary and I saw a squirrel carrying something. We looked closer and saw a tail. She scampered up a tree and set the strange bundle down and we were surprised to see the lump begin to move and turn into a baby squirrel. The mom ran back down the tree and we watched the baby walk around unsteadily, almost falling off the branch a couple of times. Some hikers came up behind us and we were able to point out the little creature to them. Mama squirrel didn’t come right back with another baby, so we pushed on.

At another spot we stopped at a point where two trails merged. A hiker coming behind us pointed to the path we should take to the peak. We thanked her and said we were just resting. She explained that the other path was a different route we could take to get back to Sylvan Lake, and there was a cool spur we could take that would go to Little Devil’s Tower if we wanted to. It was obvious this lady had hiked this route many times and we were glad to have some ideas for other trails to take instead of just going down the same way we had come up.

At one point a man pointed out a deer he had just seen cross the trail. We peered into the trees along the trail and could see the deer, something we would have missed if the guy hadn’t seen it first.

It felt good to meet people on the trail every once in a while, reassuring us that we were going the right way and also that someone would find us if we got hurt along the way. (It didn’t feel as good to be passed by hikers coming from behind. Man, I’m out of shape!)

See the little white dot in the center of this picture? There are rock climbers up there!

It might help all of us to think about “hiking together” through life.

We can point out things we’ve seen and lessons we’ve learned on our journeys. We can appreciate the insights and experiences of others who are farther along on life’s trail. We can point others in the right direction when they seem lost, and we can find exciting new adventures as we listen to advice from seasoned travelers.

We can be inspired by the “life hikers” who choose to do amazing things (Like the rock climbers we saw while hiking. It seemed like every time I looked up I saw someone standing on top of a high peak). We can encourage our fellow travelers who are too afraid to even get on the main path.

We can take time to see the beauty in life, sometimes hidden in the unlikeliest of places.

Beautiful little blue flowers in the crack of a rock close to a high peak.

Whether hiking in the Black Hills of South Dakota or journeying through life, the climb is worth it. The views will be spectacular and we can grow and learn from every step we take.

Keep going, everyone. Let’s keep hiking together!

“Blessed are those whose strength is in you, whose hearts are set on pilgrimage.” (Psalm 84:5 NIV)

How are you hiking lately? Alone or with others? How can focusing on God help you to enjoy the journey more and keep going?

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Terrific Tuesday: Let’s Focus on Perseverance

I’m so sorry, dear readers.

I couldn’t seem to get myself to write on Focus Friday.

And then I missed Super Saturday.

Sensational Sunday slipped by with no desire to write.

I almost gave up when I got to Marvelous Monday, but here I am.

It’s Terrific Tuesday and I’m taking a few moments to write, even though I’m terribly late.

Why? Because I want all of us to think about perseverance.

Truth is, I’ve been struggling a bit these last few days. I stayed in bed until 9:00 today, something I haven’t done for many months. I’ve been feeling kind of blah and lazy in general lately. It’s discouraging because I had been feeling very good for quite a long time. When you deal with depression, a few down days can lead to feelings of panic if you’re not careful. “Oh no, it’s coming back!”

But I don’t have to panic. I know what to do to stay healthy emotionally, and I know who to reach out to if things don’t get better.

First, I need to think about what may be contributing to my low mood.

I realize there are several things: I missed a couple of days of exercise; I’m stuck back at June 1 in my One-Year Bible; I’ve been going to bed a little later than I should; my thoughts are leaning toward the negative too often; and someone in our community died by suicide recently.

No wonder I’m not feeling the best!

Next, I need to make plans to turn things around.

I’m going to get back to my morning exercise routine; I’ll take the time to read my Bible each morning; bedtime will be close to ten again; I’m going to catch my thoughts and make sure I’m focused on what is true and good; and I’m going to persevere, even when I hear about yet another person who tragically couldn’t do that.

Finally, I’m going to make sure I’m living a focused life.

Letting everything in life push and pull me around so that I don’t focus on one thing will only bog me down in confusion and despair. Focusing on God first, and then the things He leads me to will keep me purposeful and hopeful.

I need to remember that my faith and perseverance may help someone else who is struggling. Sure, it’s not a big deal if I write my blog on Tuesday instead of Friday, but I’m going to do my best to stick as close to that schedule as possible.

Thanks for being patient with me, friends. I’m going to persevere, and I’m praying that you will, too.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12 NIV)

Do you get tired of trying sometimes? How can focusing on God help you to turn your thoughts around and decide to persevere?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Speaking Up

When I was very depressed* back in September of 2014, I made lots of mistakes in how I was thinking and acting.

One of my biggest blunders was failing to speak up. Gary knew how much I was struggling, but I said very little at the high school where I was getting more and more stressed and upset about the teaching job I couldn’t seem to handle.

Looking back (and isn’t it always easier to see what we could have done in hindsight?), I might have been able to handle things better if I had spoken up and talked to the other teachers about my worries and frustrations.

I could have gotten more help with the technology problems with the online textbook, instead of being determined that I should be able to figure it out myself.

I could have asked how the other teachers handled disruptive students, instead of just heaping more shame on myself because I couldn’t keep everyone happy and attentive every day.

I could have been more open with people at church and asked them to pray for me as I adjusted, instead of keeping it all to myself and slipping more and more into that dark place.

I learned from the mistakes I made back then when I got so sick.

Now I’m much more willing to speak up when I’m going through something difficult. I talk to God about it, and I talk to other people who can help.

I was reminded of speaking up earlier this week at VBS. In the midst of a busy day of herding a group of 3rd and 4th graders through their various activities at Vacation Bible School, I heard one of the other volunteers admit that she had a meltdown one evening as she thought about a commitment she had made for later this summer. She had doubts about whether her faith was strong enough and if she was the right person for the job she had signed up for.

How brave of her to voice that doubt in a group of peers. We could encourage her and now we know how we can pray for her as that commitment approaches.

We all need to get more comfortable speaking up. Let’s not keep our troubled thoughts to ourselves. Let’s talk to God about them and practice speaking up to people in our lives who can pray for us and give us help and encouragement for whatever we’re going through.

God knows our thoughts, but people aren’t mind readers. We have to speak up.

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” (1 John 5:14-15 NIV)

Do you feel comfortable speaking up, or do you keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself? How can focusing on God help you to be more willing to talk to God and others about your troubles?

*You can read more of my posts about depression over at robynmulder.blogspot.com (search for “depression” or “mental health” to find more posts)