I was going to wait and make it a Super Saturday, but then I started thinking.
That happens way too often.
I don’t feel like cleaning, so I let the dust build up and the floor gets more and more full of crumbs and dirt.
I don’t feel like saying no to myself, so I eat when I’m not really hungry.
I don’t feel like figuring out what to write, so I put it off another day.
Maybe you find yourself doing that, too. Putting off the things you don’t feel like doing until they become more urgent, and usually more difficult.
So tonight I’m doing it anyway. I don’t feel like it, but I’m writing this post.
This week I started to work on overcoming that tendency to not do the things I don’t feel like doing. I wrote at least 500 words every day on my latest writing project, even when I didn’t feel like doing it. They weren’t all brilliant words and many of them may not make it to the final version of the book, but that’s okay. I did it anyway.
As we begin this new year, let’s all work on doing it anyway.
We may not feel like exercising. Let’s do it anyway.
We may not feel like being kind to our spouse, our children, or someone at work. Let’s do it anyway.
We may not feel like working on that goal we set on January 1. Let’s do it anyway.
We may not feel like reading our Bible, praying, or sharing our faith. Let’s do it anyway.
We may not feel like pressing on when our anxiety or depression gets bad. Let’s do it anyway.
Truth is, we usually aren’t going to feel like doing most of the things we do. But if we do them anyway, I can almost guarantee we’ll feel good afterward.
Well, what do you know! I finished this blog post, and that feels pretty good.
“We want each of you to show this same diligence to the very end, so that what you hope for may be fully realized.” (Hebrews 6:11 NIV)
Do you have a hard time doing something when you don’t feel like it? How can focusing on God help you to do it anyway?
She downloaded an app and chose a 1 second video snippet to represent each day. On December 31 she posted it to Facebook and all of her friends and family could watch 365 seconds of her life go by. It was so interesting!
Of course, I recognized what was happening in many of the little snippets of her life (and I even saw myself and the rest of the family a couple of times). I was inspired and immediately downloaded the “1 Second Everyday: Video Diary” app (more info at 1secondeveryday.com).
Today I watched Erin’s video again and noticed even more than I had the first time.
I was reinspired, so I opened the app on my phone and added snippets for the first two days of the year. (You’re curious? For Wednesday I added a picture of my 3 big goals for this year and said “Here we go!”; for yesterday I took a video of our cribbage board with a deck of cards spread out in front of it and said “The guys won” – because, of course, I forgot to take a video when our friends were over last night.)
As the days go by, I think I’ll get better at capturing a moment on my phone as it happens and adding it to the app so I can look back at the year and remember it in a cool way.
The exciting and the mundane.
The highs and the lows.
The little moments that make up another year of living.
Even if you don’t get the app and record your 1 second each day, I encourage you to be more aware of each second that goes by. Take notice of it. See what’s happening around you. Who are you with? What are you doing? How are you feeling? What mental snapshot can you take to make sure you remember?
The older I get, the more I realize that our years fly by faster and faster.
If we aren’t deliberate about how we’re living, we’ll look back someday and wonder what we actually did with all of those seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, and years.
I predict that if I actually use this app, I’m going to be more conscious of all the things going on as I live each day. I might even do some things I normally would be too lazy to do, just so I can add them to my app. I’m going to be more aware of what I’m doing, what others are doing, and what I want to take note of before the day is over.
I can’t wait to see what my little 365 second movie looks like on December 31, but I’m even more excited about being more deliberate about living each second of 2020.
“Teach us to number our days [and our seconds], that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12 NIV – brackets mine)
Does time seem to fly by without you taking much notice? How can focusing on God help you to be more mindful of each second that goes by this year?
If you’re like most people, you may be considering resolutions you want to make for the new year.
Or maybe you’re starting to make a list of all of the goals you want to complete in 2020.
I know. I feel it, too. I look at all of the bad habits indulged in this year and I want to resolve to eradicate every single one from my life – by March 1.
I see all of the goals I didn’t complete–and all of the time I wasted–and I want to make a detailed plan to complete every single thing on my list (and maybe add ten more, because I’m sure if I managed my time better I could do them all).
We can’t do that. If we do, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment, failure, and frustration. When we’re focusing on fixing all of our shortcomings and doing all of the things we think we need to do to have a good, successful life, we’re going to end up feeling pressured and agitated when life doesn’t go as planned.
There’s a better place to put our focus. On God.
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3 NIV)
When we start there–with our focus on God–we can feel peace as we trust Him and live our lives each day.
When we start the new year with our focus on God, He’ll give us the wisdom we need to decide what habits we need to work on changing – with His help. He’ll help us discern what our goals should be and give us the energy and drive to complete them.
Starting the new year like this will allow us to begin 2020 with joy in our hearts, excited about all of the opportunities and possibilities the year will bring, instead of weighed down with all of our own demands and expectations.
Now that’s a good way to start.
Happy New Year!
“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13 NIV)
Are you excited about the new year, or are you stressed about what you “should” do in 2020? How can focusing on God help you to begin the new year well and enjoy the inevitable ups and downs 2020 will bring?
There’s something special about designing, preparing, and assembling a handmade Christmas card for family and friends. It’s so relaxing.
Except when you start making them on December 19.
If you begin on that date, with the intention of getting them in church mailboxes by Sunday, December 22, then it’s not very relaxing at all. It’s rushed and tension builds up in your shoulders and neck. Your shoulder burns a bit as you stamp another image and you wonder if you’ll have to visit the chiropractor or physical therapist next week.
There goes anything you might have saved by making cards instead of buying them.
I bought this stamp years ago. I have no idea what my cost per card averages out to, but I have fun!
I haven’t made cards every year, but when I have, I’ve made some beauties.
These are the cards I made from 2003 to 2008. Look at all of the cutting, embossing, gluing, and coloring I did. And I had four kids at home!
This year’s card will be plain and simple. A nativity silhouette with a star above it and the caption: Silent Night, Holy Night. I think there’s a chance I’ll get them done and in the church mailboxes by Sunday morning, but I’ll have to work steadily the rest of today and much of tomorrow to get it done.
Here are my card and envelope piles, ready to be assembled and finished.
As usual, I’m wondering why I didn’t start earlier. I mean, really, I know Christmas is coming every year. There’s no reason I can’t start a few months early and make these at a more leisurely pace.
I got cards done for church last year, but I didn’t send any to family and friends. I made some cute cards during the spring and summer, but I didn’t get them sent out, and here we are back to Christmas again! (Am I a hopeless cause or what?)
I actually made 15 cards like this. So do I send them out now…or wait and send them super late so they make sense?
Maybe you struggle with doing things on time, too. If so, it might be good for all of us to spend some time planning for the new year that will begin soon. We can look at what we want to accomplish, break our goals into smaller pieces, and schedule time into each week to work on those things.
Then maybe we won’t find ourselves:
*making cards on December 20
*figuring out our finances on April 14
*cramming for a test the morning we take it
*trying to lose ten pounds the week before our class reunion
*writing something right up until the midnight deadline
*cleaning madly right before company is scheduled to arrive
The key is doing the work instead of putting it off and doing things that don’t matter as much.
I realize that all of this is subjective. For some people, Christmas cards are far down on their list of priorities. Something else probably rises to the top of their list.
Whatever it is, we need to work hard at it, remembering that God is with us and he’ll help us.
I love making Christmas cards. Next year I’m going to start making them in July.
“‘Be strong, all you people of the land,’ declares the Lord, ‘and work. For I am with you,’ declares the Lord Almighty.” (Haggai 2:4b NIV)
Are there things you feel are important, but you put them off til the last minute? How can focusing on God help you to work hard and get things done on time?
We were planning to have an Open House on Saturday for any church members who wanted to come. I had baking to do and things to clean before we welcomed guests.
But first I wanted to finish up an editing project I had been given about a week and a half before that. I finished up the main editing for the book and then I started checking scripture references. I spent a couple of hours on it, and as the clock ticked closer to noon I could feel the panic starting to well up in me. I wasn’t even halfway through the book, so I knew it was going to take me quite a while to finish.
The baking. The cleaning. The other things on my list of things to do before the Open House. Gary had offered to help with some of it if he could do it in the early afternoon.
I didn’t see how it was all going to work.
And then, all of the thoughts began:
Why didn’t I work on this editing project last week and get it done and off my plate?I’m probably missing things because I’m hurrying, and then the author won’t want to hire me for future projects. I’m a bad editor.
Why hadn’t I done a little more baking earlier in the week instead of leaving it until Friday? Also, I could have cleaned more in the last couple of weeks instead of letting it go until the last minute. You know, if I had a better schedule I could keep the whole house clean so that it was ready for someone to visit at any time. I’m a bad housewife.
I haven’t even started making Christmas cards. I didn’t get that done last year, either. I’m going to lose touch with people because I’ve been lazy. I’m a bad friend.
More thoughts like these were crowding into my head and I got less and less done on my editing job because I wasn’t focusing. I had flashbacks of September of 2014 when I got so depressed during the teaching job.
This time I asked for help instead of trying (and failing) to handle it myself. I told Gary how stressed I was feeling and how I didn’t know how I was going to get the editing done and have time to get ready for the Open House.
He suggested I tell the author I just couldn’t get it done today. I didn’t want to do that because I imagined my client sitting by his computer, waiting for his book to come back so he could move on and get to the publishing phase. But Gary was right, so I sent my author friend a progress report, explaining the situation and asking for a few more days.
I shut my computer and went to the kitchen. As I filled the freezer with Almond Banket and as we dipped Peanut Butter Balls in white chocolate, my stress level lowered. After we cleaned and prepared, I felt more ready for welcoming our friends into our home.
When I got back to my computer after supper, I was surprised and grateful to find an email from my editing client. He told me that he was running behind on the rough draft of the next book he was working on. It would be “a gift” to him if I would wait until later next week to get it back to him. Then he wished me well with the open house.
What a nice surprise.
And what a lesson in handling stress. (The following list is not exhaustive, but it’s a start.)
Ask for help. You can’t always get out of doing something stressful, but asking someone for help could open your eyes to a different way of doing something. Just talking to someone about your feelings can relieve some of that anxiety. (If stress is often getting in the way of “normal” life, you may want to consider going to a professional counselor for help.)
Do something. Sitting still and thinking, thinking, thinking will just add to the stress you’re feeling. Getting something–anything!–done can get you moving in the right direction and lower the stress you’re feeling.
Change your thinking. It doesn’t do you any good to ruminate on all of the things you aren’t doing right today or the things you’ve done wrong in the past. You need to catch those thoughts and focus on what you can do right now. Choose to think positively about the future, changing one thought at a time.
None of us can escape stress. It’s an inevitable part of life.
What we can do is learn coping skills and practice so we get better at handling stress.
Just think of the peace we can have if we get better at noticing stress and taking steps to relieve it right away instead of letting it turn into a crisis.
“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” (Isaiah 26:3 NIV)
Do you let stress build until it paralyzes you? How can focusing on God help you to handle stress in healthy ways?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KvSgXBfZQHM
* This feels like a good time to add a link to my “Christmas Stress Song” video on YouTube. I hope it helps you deal with some of the stress of the Christmas season.
I have no good excuses for why I’m posting late on a Tuesday night.
I’ve been busy and a little more stressed lately, but I’ve had plenty of time to write a blog post.
Maybe it boils down to self-sabotage. I’ve had so many weeks of posting on Focus Friday…maybe my brain protested in disbelief. Or, it could be something closer to what I saw on a TV show I was watching recently. One of the characters was musing about why she wasn’t doing something and she came to the conclusion that it was because “they” had told her to do it. She didn’t like being told what to do. Could I be that rebellious that I don’t even want to do something I tell myself to do?
Whatever the case, I just kept putting off writing this post.
And then I saw someone else’s blog post referring to the song “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.” They made some insightful observations about verse 3 and their tendency to wander. I’ve always loved that verse, too.
“O to grace how great a debtor…Daily I’m constrained to be…Let thy goodness like a fetter…Bind my wandering soul to Thee. Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love; Here’s my heart, O take and seal it. Seal it for thy courts above.”
I am prone to wander. Maybe you are, too.
We’re prone to wander in our bodies (to places we shouldn’t go, or to eat things we shouldn’t eat, or to do things we shouldn’t do).
We’re prone to wander in our hearts (to love certain people or things more than God).
We’re prone to wander in our minds (to thoughts that get us into trouble as we believe Satan’s lies or trust ourselves instead of God).
As soon as we become aware of our wandering ways, we need to make a conscious effort to turn back to God. By constantly giving Him our heart and renewing our resolve to live according to His word, we’ll stay close to Him and we’ll be less likely to wander.
“How can a young person [or an older woman] stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray [wander!] from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.” (Psalm 119:9-11 NIV – brackets mine)
Do you often find yourself wandering? How can focusing on God help you to stay close to Him and live with purpose?
Last Saturday night I did some shopping at our local grocery store. I got the things on my list, but then I checked out the baked goods on my way to the checkout.
There was a package of six donuts. The kind I like. Two were plain chocolate frosting with white cream filling. The other four had sprinkles with white cream.
I caved and stuck them in my cart. I almost turned around and put them back. I mean, I know that much sugar isn’t good for me or Gary. But I really wanted a donut, so I checked out and took them home.
I offered one to Gary and then I returned to the kitchen for my treat.
Here’s where my reasoning went totally haywire. I realized these weren’t quite as fresh as the ones I’ve gotten early in the morning. No, these were just a little dry, and they wouldn’t get any better by the next day, so I decided to put two on my plate and go watch a Christmas movie.
The first donut was delicious, but by the time I got to the end of the second donut I was almost sick. (Don’t worry, I suffered through and finished it.) And then the guilt and self-condemnation poured in…
Why did I buy six donuts when I want to lose weight? Why did I eat two donuts in one sitting instead of waiting until I was hungry again? Why did I give in to temptation like that? Should I just forget about eating better? No. I finally came to my senses.
I had to start over.
Earlier this week I decided to try a new company for my email list. I had paid quite a bit last year for a system that I didn’t learn how to use very well and I hadn’t grown my list much at all. I decided to go to the free level of a quality company and see if I can put more work into using it well as I grow my email list. So I spent quite a bit of time figuring out how to move my precious group of subscribers to the new system and set up new forms for my website.
I had to start over.
Later in the week, my thinking started to get a little messed up. The normal stresses of the holidays, plus some stresses from our specific life started to get to me. Instead of catching those thoughts and turning them into something more positive and hopeful, I started to roll with the negative ideas bouncing around in my brain. It wasn’t good, because all it did was keep me from getting anything done on my list of things to do. I was paralyzed by my negative thoughts and I procrastinated until I finally picked one thing on my list and did it.
I had to start over.
Starting over is not easy. We don’t want to admit that we blew it in some area of our life. We don’t want to spend the time it takes to learn a new program or figure out how to produce something we haven’t done before. We get tired of fighting the negative thoughts in our brains, so we would rather just ignore them or hide from them or, even worse, believe them.
But we must start over. It’s the only way we’ll ever accomplish our goals. It’s the only way we’ll ever learn to do something new. It’s the only way we’ll get better at catching our thoughts and turning them around to something helpful and positive.
I think the more we practice starting over as soon as possible, the better we’ll get at it and the less often we’ll have to do it. But even if we have to start over a hundred times a day, let’s do it. It’s the only way we’ll make it through the marathon of life that we’re on.
Move ahead, fall down, start over. Repeat as needed. (And stay out of the bakery aisle.)
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.” (Hebrews 12:1-2a NIV)
Do you get tired of starting over? How can focusing on God help you to keep moving ahead with perseverance as you live your life?
When you deal with mental illness, it can feel pretty hard to be grateful.
Symptoms, situations, and stuff can try to squash any desire we may have to be grateful. The easiest thing to do is to roll with whatever emotion bubbles to the surface.
Anger? Sure, let’s make sure everyone we meet knows how we’re feeling today.
Sadness? You bet, let’s stay in bed and cry.
Fear? Well, of course. No one can expect us to try new things when we’re feeling this way.
Boredom? Ho hum. Let’s see what’s in the fridge to snack on.
None of these emotions are wrong. As humans, we experience a vast array of emotions. (Check out Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions at sixseconds.org) They’re normal, but we can’t stay stuck in any of them. Choosing to be thankful just may get us past the negative emotions and move us closer to maturity and health.
Even without an illness like depression or anxiety, it can be hard to be grateful sometimes. When a mental illness affects someone’s life, it might feel almost impossible to be grateful.
Being grateful is a choice we have to make – whether we’re healthy or sick.
Being deliberate about giving thanks for the things we have can be part of the recovery process for those who are mentally ill, and once we’re healthy it can be one of the things that keeps us well.
Anger? Thank you, Lord, that I care enough about this person or this situation to get upset.
Sadness? Thank you, God, that my heart is tender enough to feel sad.
Fear? Thank you, Father, that you’re always with me and I don’t have to be afraid.
Boredom? Thank you, God, that you gave me a brain that can think of something to do instead of running to food when I’m not hungry.
We might need help processing the emotions we’re feeling. We might need to talk to a professional counselor about the things that are contributing to our anger, sadness, fear, and boredom.
But a good place to start is to get back to being grateful.
“Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.” (Psalm 107:8-9 NIV)
Are your emotions all over the place? How can focusing on God help you to be grateful, even in the midst of the negative emotions of mental illness?
Now, in case you haven’t read that earlier post, I feel the need to emphasize again that I believe in taking medications for depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses. They can be vital in getting a person to a healthy place emotionally after their brain chemistry gets all messed up.
In some cases, people need to take medications indefinitely to make sure they remain stable and healthy. Sometimes people can go off their medicine once they get to a healthy place and have the tools and skills necessary to stay healthy. (Always check with your doctor and your family before you make a change to your meds, and be sure to wean off your medication over time. Going off cold turkey can be extremely dangerous.)
I’d like to be able to tell you that I’m doing wonderfully without medicine and I’ll never need it again, but the truth is that I’m not sure yet.
I keep seeing this picture in my mind: A tightrope stretches out in front of me and I’m moving slowly along, but I’m scared that at any moment the rope will begin to sway crazily, I’ll lose my balance, and I’ll come crashing down to the ground far below.
The more I focus on that image, the more wobbly I become.
Coming off the medicine back in September, I noticed some changes right away. I cried a bit more easily, but it wasn’t out of nowhere like it seemed to be when I was depressed. I had cried once in a while when I was on the medicine, but I usually had to be very stressed or upset about something before the tears came.
I also realized that my mood got quite a bit higher sometimes than it did when I was on the medicine. (I especially remember laughing hard about something when our daughter was around and she commented on it. It was fun to laugh, but I was a little embarrassed at the time.)
I think I’m still trying to figure out how much crying is “normal.” It feels pretty good to be moved to tears when I watch YouTube videos of servicemen and women coming home and surprising their families. I like tearing up when I watch a sad movie or hear about a sad situation on the news. What I don’t like is getting weepy when I’m frustrated or angry about something. That may be “normal,” too, but I don’t like it.
The jury is still out on whether I’ll need to go back on medication in the future. For now, I’m trying to enjoy both the laughter and the tears as I continue to practice the thinking skills I need so that I don’t get depressed again.
One thing I can do is tear down the tightrope in my mind. That image won’t do me any good if I continue to think about it. It will just set me up for failure as I analyze every little wobble in my life, sure that it will send me careening to the depths of despair.
Instead, I can replace the tightrope image with a picture of me with my feet firmly planted on solid ground, putting one foot in front of the other, and moving forward. If I get off balance a bit I may move a little bit sideways or I might even fall down, but it’s not going to be the catastrophic plunge I would have taken from high above the ground. It will just be a short fall that will be easy to recover from.
What about you? Do you take a medication for depression or anxiety? Have you taken one in the past, but now you don’t? Are you experiencing lots of symptoms and wonder if you should be taking a medication?
Remember, everyone’s experience with mental illness is different. Talk to your family about how you’re feeling. Discuss medications with your doctor. Keep your feet firmly on the ground and make sure you’re learning good skills for dealing with depression and anxiety – whether you take medicine or not.
And, most of all, remember that God loves you and knows exactly what you’re going through. He doesn’t love you more if you don’t take medicine, and he doesn’t love you less if you do. You can trust him to help you work with your family and doctors and do whatever keeps you healthy emotionally.
I’m staying off the tightrope, walking on solid ground, and trusting him to keep me moving in the right direction – with or without medicine.
“For we live [walk] by faith, not by sight.” (2 Corinthians 5:7 NIV)
What do you think about taking medicines for mental illness? How can focusing on God help you to move ahead in faith, with or without the help of medications?
We have not been home much in the last month or so.
We took a two-week vacation.
After that, I was home for one day before I headed off to a writers conference.
Then I was home for almost a week, but we left for another week to visit family and attend a pastors retreat.
We got home late Thursday night.
All of the things we went to were fun, and I’m glad we could go, but I’m so glad we get to stay home for a while. (Poor Gary had to leave to go out of town today and tomorrow, but soon he’ll be able to stay home, too.)
Today I’ve been slowly getting things back to normal. Doing a big load of wash, putting away suitcases, sorting through the week’s accumulated mail, making sure there’s nothing we missed doing while we were gone.
It feels good to just be home.
Looking at the pictures on the walls, the knick-knacks on the shelves, and the familiar foods in the cupboards does something good to my heart. I’ve missed this place.
I’m anxious to dive back into more of a regular routine.
All of the traveling and visiting was great, but there’s a lot to be said for just staying home.
Staying home gives us the time and energy to work on our goals.
Staying home lets us settle into the waking, eating, working, playing, and sleeping routines that are best for us.
Staying home helps us connect with our families, friends, and neighbors in all of the activities that are part of our normal weeks.
I wouldn’t give up anything I experienced in the last month or so, but let’s thank the Lord for the blessing of staying home.
“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ” (Proverbs 31:26-28 NIV)
Do you enjoy staying home, or do you prefer the excitement of being on the go? How can focusing on God help you to find contentment and purpose – wherever you may be?
