So why do we get upset when things don’t go the way we plan and we struggle?
For years, I thought something was wrong with me if I couldn’t stay “happy” all the time.
The older I get, the more I realize how idealistic that is. No one can be happy constantly. There is an ebb and flow to life. There are ups and downs. There is joy and sadness.
I’m getting more comfortable with that wavering rhythm of life.
I was reassured when I listened to an episode of Hal Elrod’s podcast this week. He talked about feeling overwhelmed and frustrated for a couple of hours one day because of all the things he had to do. He admitted that he made absolutely no progress on any of the things on his to-do list during those hours. When he finally realized what was happening, he was able to take some steps to get back to being productive. (I’ll let you listen to the podcast if you want to know what he did.)
If a famous, successful, highly productive person can have a setback every once in a while, then I shouldn’t be alarmed or ashamed when it happens to me.
The key is to not stay in that state for too long.
Recognize that you’re struggling, acknowledge the situation, take a break if you have to, and then press on.
We can’t accomplish everything on our list in one day, but if we keep pressing on, we’ll see results and be able to achieve many of our goals. Press on, my friends!
“I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14 NIV)
Do you get overwhelmed and frustrated easily? How can focusing on God help you to take a deep breath and press on through the struggle?
Last week I told you about the first part of our attempt to hike for a week in Tennessee. I didn’t count the cost, so we adjusted our plans and decided to end our trip after four days (instead of seven).
After we made the decision to quit, we still had to get through two cold nights and a day and a half of difficult hiking (mostly uphill).
On Tuesday morning we set out at daybreak. It felt like every time I looked up there was another set of stairs we had to climb. I would go for a while and then stop and lean on my hiking poles while I let my heart rate slow back down. Then I’d take a deep breath and tackle the next hill.
We were still only going an average of about a mile an hour, and my attitude soon leaned toward despair. As I hiked, I started to let out a little whimper with almost every step. I knew I was being pathetic, but I just couldn’t seem to help it.
We finally got to Derrick Knob Shelter at 1:50. We sat and rested a while, then got back on the trail. We still had six miles to go and we knew we were going to have to hike in the dark if we kept up the same pace. Gary had given me a little pep talk during our break. “You look like a really tough hiker chick,” he encouraged me. “You can do this.”
I didn’t believe that I looked like a great hiker, but I chose to think that way. I hiked to the rhythm of a short, punchy phrase for a while, but it included a naughty word and I didn’t feel right about it. (Pastors’ wives never swear, do they?) So I changed it. God’s glorious hiker chick. God’s glorious hiker chick. It was silly, but it worked. With every word I stabbed my poles down in front of me. When the trail flattened out, I tried to go as fast as I could. When it went up again, I tried to go farther before I stopped to rest.
We talked to a southbound hiker who asked where we were headed. “Silas Bald Shelter,” we answered. He looked shocked. “Some people have big, audacious goals,” he muttered as he hiked away.
I kept up my hiking mantra. My I-can’t-do-this whimper disappeared and my attitude changed. It was still hard, but I became even more determined to get to our next campsite before dark. We enjoyed a few spots with beautiful views of the Smoky Mountains, but most of the trail was surrounded by trees. We did make it to the shelter before dark!
Wednesday we hiked the last five miles, finally leaving the woods and merging with the groups of tourists walking to Clingmans Dome on the paved road. We noticed that they all kept their distance from us (even more than six feet!). Guess not showering for a few days bothers some people.
We sat at the foot of the observation tower for a while, then climbed it (leaving our packs at the bottom). We hiked down the road to the parking lot and found a spot to lie down and wait for my parents to get there and pick us up.
We were tired, but proud of ourselves for making it as far as we did. We had challenged ourselves, pushed our limits, and finished well. I hope I can do the same in the rest of life.
I want to challenge myself to do great things. Even if I have to alter my plans once in a while, I’ll keep moving forward with an I-can-do-it attitude.
I want to push my limits. I don’t do that very often because it’s uncomfortable, but I know I’ll grow physically, emotionally, and spiritually when I do something that’s outside my comfort zone.
I want to finish well. I don’t want to get to the end of my life and wish I had accomplished more, loved better, and enjoyed life more. I’m God’s glorious hiker chick and I’m going to finish the race, giving glory to the God who loves me and is with me every step of the way!
“However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.” (Acts 20:24 NIV)
How are you traveling through life? Do you think “I can’t do this”? How can focusing on God help you to finish life well, whatever lies ahead?
Here are some more pictures of our Appalachian Trail adventure:
A nice view of the Smoky Mountains (Tennessee) Rockytop – we enjoyed a good break here.Good to see the white blaze and know we were still on the right trail. Another view of the Smokies.We made it to our destination – but we didn’t dare ask anyone to take our picture together. Gary made it, too! (A scruffy husband is a happy husband.)Clingmans Dome is the highest point on the AT (6643 feet)
“Let’s hike on the Appalachian Trail when we go to Tennessee in September!”
That was my suggestion earlier this summer. My husband was a bit skeptical, but I was excited. We made our plans, filled our backpacks, and told all our friends and family about our plan to hike seventy miles through the Great Smoky Mountains National Park on the Appalachian Trail.
Never mind the fact that we had never hiked more than two or three days before, and this would be six nights in a tent in the mountains. I was sure it would be fun to camp out.
Never mind the fact that I wasn’t in peak physical shape. I started walking up and down our basement stairs and I strapped on my pack the week before we left and walked five miles with it one day.
Never mind the fact that there are lots of black bears in the Smoky Mountains and we heard disturbing stories about some bear encounters. We picked up a can of bear spray on the way to Tennessee.
We spent a day with my parents, and then my dad drove us over to Fontana Dam where we would start our adventure.
Don’t we look excited? What could possibly go wrong?
Gary had wisely suggested we start our first day with six miles.
It took us six hours to get to Birch Spring Tentsite. We set up camp, hung our food bag on the bear cable, then set up camp again after we found a better spot. We got all snug in our sleeping bags…
And then we froze!
It was the oddest sensation. First I got sweaty and then I would start to shiver violently. I lay on one side for a while, then I would turn to my back, then I would wiggle onto my other side. We had condensation on the inside of the tent, so every time I got close to the wall I would get a little water on my face or in my hair. It was so annoying!
We got up before dawn and packed up our things so we were ready to start hiking when it got light.
It took us from 7:15 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. to go the 11.4 miles to the Spence Field Trail Shelter. We were averaging about one mile per hour.
As we hiked, I was thinking about the rest of our week. The daily miles for the remainder of our hike were 11.8 on Tuesday, 15.3 on Wednesday, 12.6 on Thursday, and 14.6 on Friday (and then just a couple of miles to the pick up point on Saturday).
I couldn’t do it! One mile an hour meant we’d have to hike in the dark part of the time. And five more nights of freezing cold misery? No way! If we could have, we would have gotten off the trail right then and there, but we figured out that we had to either go back twelve miles or forge ahead seventeen miles to a good pickup spot.
We called my parents after we got our tent set up. “Umm, Dad, do you think you could pick us up at Clingman’s Dome on Wednesday?”
Mom and Dad laughed. They had been expecting a call because they had heard it was going to rain on Thursday and Friday (something we hadn’t realized). They also knew it had gotten down into the thirties on Sunday night. They agreed to pick us up.
I hadn’t truly counted the cost of hiking in the mountains. I had thought I was prepared, but I was miserably unprepared for the ups and downs of the trail. I thought I was in good enough shape, but I should have been training harder for our experience.
I think we do this with our faith at times. My Life Application Study Bible has a challenging note about Luke 14:28–30: We must carefully count the cost of becoming Christ’s disciples so that we will know what we are getting into and won’t be tempted later to turn back.
We have to count the cost and be all in as we follow the Lord. No turning back.
I’m glad we had the option of getting off the trail after we figured out that we weren’t ready for an entire week in the Smokies.
We still had to endure two cold nights and a day and a half of tough hiking before we finished. I’ll tell you more about that next week.
“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’
In the same way, those of you who do not give up everything you have cannot be my disciples.” (Luke 14:28–30, 33 NIV)
Have you ever neglected to count the cost before you attempted something? How did it turn out? How can focusing on God help you to keep going as you follow him?
Here are a few pictures of our first day on the trail:
I’m pointing out the white blazes we would follow along the AT. A timber rattler. We never would have seen it if some other hikers hadn’t told us to watch for it. The view from Shuckstack fire tower. Worth the climb! Almost to our first campsite.
Gary and I spent some time this week getting ready for a trip that seemed far off on Monday.
At first, my attitude was pretty noncommital (dare I say even a bit annoyed?).
My husband wanted me to look into distances, shelters, and more of the details for our trip in a few weeks. We’re going to hike about seventy miles of the Appalachian Trail through the Great Smoky Mountains National Park in Tennessee. We love hiking, but we’ve never hiked for a whole week. He was right, we needed to figure things out, but I didn’t want to do it yet.
We sat down one night and mapped out how far we plan to hike each day and where we can stay each night. We called my parents to make sure they could drop us off and pick us up at the end. We started making a list of things we need to buy.
This afternoon Gary made me dig out my hiking pants and other gear. We spent some time trying things on and figuring out what we needed to wear. Our extra bedroom now has two neat piles of clothes next to the rest of the supplies we have so far.
It suddenly dawned on me today that we have just a little over two weeks before we hit the trail. That’s not much time! I’m so glad my husband is a planner and he talked me into doing some planning and preparation as we’re looking forward to this adventure.
Left on my own, my tendency is to put things off until the last minute, rush around in a frenzy trying to get something done, and inevitably forget something in my haste. That’s not good when you’re going to be miles from civilization.
I want to practice living more like Gary in other areas of my life, too. Keeping track of what’s ahead on my schedule and doing a little bit at a time to get ready for those events and projects will help me feel more peace.
It’s stressful to put things off. Deadlines get missed, late fees get added, pressure builds up, and anxiety skyrockets.
I think our spiritual lives suffer, too, when we don’t use our time wisely. We can feel guilt and shame because we’re wasting time instead of working on something important.
We can’t be working every minute of every day, but we do need to think about how we’re spending our time. The Holy Spirit will help us find balance and show us how to make the very best use of the time we have.
That’s the way I want to live, even if I fail sometimes. We can start over whenever we want to and determine to use our time wisely.
“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:15–16 ESV)
Do you waste too much time? How can focusing on God help you to work hard and use your time wisely?
It worried me because there was a time more than a year ago when I couldn’t seem to get up on time.
Every morning I would hit the snooze over and over or turn off the alarm and not get up. I moved my alarm clock across the room, but I would still turn it off and crawl back in bed.
That’s what happened today. I shut off the alarm and then I made the choice to get back under the covers and sleep for another hour and a half.
It felt unavoidable, but I was conscious of the moment when it could have gone either way.
I was standing up after shutting off the alarm. The next action was normally to turn on the light, head for the bathroom, then get dressed and go read my Bible for a while before exercising.
This time, my hand didn’t immediately reach out to turn on the light. I debated with myself for about five seconds and then I turned and headed for the bed.
When I woke up later, I felt so defeated. I didn’t like remembering how hard it had been to get out of bed so long ago. I feared I was going back to my old bad habit.
How silly! This was one day of sleeping in after months and months of getting up on time. I’m not going back. I know how good it feels to do the right thing.
There are areas of my life where I choose to do what God wants me to do quite easily. I’m free from those habits and sins and I’ll never go back.
There are other areas where I can’t quite seem to get free.
Overeating.
Procrastination.
Negative thinking.
As I think about those areas, I realize that I can usually notice the moment where it can go either way.
When I open the cupboard door, but before I reach for the chips.
When I think about doing some writing, but before I click to open Facebook instead.
When I notice a self-condemning thought, but before I agree with it and add a few more criticisms.
With Holy Spirit help and lots of practice, I can choose to do the right thing in each of those areas. I can get free and move ahead to better ways of eating, acting, and thinking.
Maybe you have some areas of your life that feel overwhelming and inescapable. Can you figure out the moment where things could go either way? Let’s practice noticing that moment and making the best choice right then. At first, we may only make a good choice two times out of ten. If we keep praying and practicing, eventually it will become six times out of ten…eight times out of ten…and then ten out of ten.
Once we’re free of those old habits and sins, let’s determine that we’re not going back!
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” (Galatians 5:1 NIV)
Are you stuck in any bad patterns of acting or thinking? How can focusing on God help you to get free from those things and move forward in freedom?
As I was writing this week’s post, I couldn’t stop thinking about this old Keith Green song, so I thought I’d share it here. After being freed from slavery, the Israelites wanted to go back to Egypt. Let’s not be like them!
Over the last few years, I’ve been working on becoming more self-aware.
I’ve read books and listened to podcasts. I’ve watched videos and made long entries in my journals. I was feeling kind of proud of myself as I learned to be more aware of my thoughts and feelings. I got a little more assertive and made sure my wants and needs were met more often.
But then two things happened this week.
First, I read an entry from My Utmost for His Highest. You can read the whole devotion at myutmost.org, but I’m going to share a few lines here:
If we try to overcome self-consciousness by any common-sense method, we will develop it tremendously. Jesus says, “Come unto Me and I will give you rest,” i.e., Christ-consciousness will take the place of self-consciousness.
(My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers, August 20)
Those lines shocked me. I realized that I have been becoming much more self-conscious and much less Christ-conscious as time has gone on. I think even as I’ve been reading my Bible in the mornings, it’s been with more of a focus on myself instead of on Christ. What does this mean for me? How can this improve my life?
The second thing happened this morning. I took a long walk and listened to an episode of the Finding Something Real podcast. My friend Janell Wood was interviewing musician Josh White (Lead pastor at Door of Hope in Portland, Oregon). He shared his testimony and talked about the gospel (the good news that Jesus died for us) in such a simple, compelling way. He reminded me of the things that really matter.
The quote that hit me the hardest? “It doesn’t matter how much light you shine into the face of a person if they’re blind.” He was talking about people who don’t believe in the Lord yet, but I teared up as I thought about some of the blind spots I have in my life. I need to ask for the Holy Spirit’s revealing so I can focus completely on Christ and have him be my everything.
There’s nothing wrong with learning to be more assertive, being more in touch with our feelings, and taking control of our thoughts. (I even started a Facebook group called “Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder” to explore that and encourage people to take every thought captive.) We just need to make sure our consciousness is focused more on Christ than on self. *
Let’s go to God first and the Holy Spirit will guide us to have a healthy, balanced view of ourselves and a consciousness that focuses completely on Jesus Christ.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28 NIV)
Where is your consciousness focused? Is it on Christ or on self? How can focusing on God help you to rest in Christ-consciousness instead of wrestling with self-consciousness?
*I’m still pondering what all of this looks like in the life of a Christian. I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments!
I went to the eye doctor yesterday. It was my third visit in the last couple of months.
At my initial visit she gave me a pair of contacts to try, but they didn’t work. My backyard garden looked fuzzy from the kitchen window, and I had to squint sometimes when I was working on my computer.
At the second visit, she tried a different brand. I wasn’t happy with those either. Still a little fuzzy for distance, still a little squinty for reading.
During yesterday’s visit, she seemed perplexed about my problem. I was afraid I was going to have to go to glasses, but she tried one more thing, and I could see a noticeable difference. I left with (hopefully) my final set of sample contacts. If they continue to work, I’ll be set for this year.
Before I left, I thanked her for being patient with me. I was glad she had stuck with it until I could see clearly. I was also glad that I had gone back one more time instead of living with slightly blurry eyesight.
I think life works that way, too.
We get frustrated because we can’t see things clearly.
We can’t figure out how to look at the coronavirus, race relations, politics, and gender identity. They seem far away and blurry. For other people those things seem so clear. What are they seeing that we can’t?
So we decide to look at the things close to us instead. That should be simpler, right? But our job, our marriage, our relationship with our children, our friendships, and our daily schedules all seem out of focus, too. What is wrong with us? Should we just live with our unclear ideas about the world (far and near)?
We need to keep going back to the Lord so we can eventually see things the way he does. He’ll give us a prescription—through the Bible and the work of the Holy Spirit—that will help us perceive just how we need to see everything in our lives.
I know there are things we won’t understand completely until we get to heaven someday, but we can focus on the things that are clear right now: Love God, love others, make good use of the time you’ve been given on this planet, and never give up hope (not an exhaustive list, of course).
Don’t settle for squinting your way through life. Keep going back to God and he’ll help you improve your vision. Someday you’ll see things exactly like he does.
“We don’t yet see things clearly. We’re squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won’t be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We’ll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us!” (1 Corinthians 13:12 The Message)
How is your eyesight? Are you upset because so many things seem unclear? How can focusing on God help you to see things more clearly?
I came across these thoughts in a devotional recently:
“God does not give us overcoming life: He gives us life as we overcome. The strain is the strength. If there is no strain, there is no strength.” (My Utmost for His Highest, August 2nd)
The idea kept coming back to me. No strain, no strength.
I thought about it when I spent time exercising each morning. I used to spend a while doing strength exercises at the beginning of my workouts. I did leg lifts, pelvic thrusts, planks, pushups, and some time on the weight machine to work my arms and legs.
In recent months, I had gradually abandoned that part of my routine. It was much easier to turn on the TV, hop on the exercise bike, and pedal half-heartedly as I watched a show or movie.
I wasn’t getting stronger physically because I wasn’t adequately straining my muscles. (For info about how our muscles work, check out this article at popsci.com.)
After reading My Utmost, I got back down on the floor and moved my body in ways that were challenging and uncomfortable. I sat at the weight machine and worked my arms and legs until they hurt.
It felt bad, but it also felt good, and I know my muscles will keep getting stronger if I keep at it.
I’ve been pondering “strain” all week, wondering what other areas of my life would improve if I accepted the strain and kept working hard.
My writing?
My overeating habits?
My relationships?
The devotion in My Utmost for His Highest goes on to say, “God never gives strength for tomorrow, or for the next hour, but only for the strain of the minute.”
We can do this, friends. Concentrate on asking for the Holy Spirit’s help to get through the strain of each minute. He will help us and we will find ourselves getting stronger and stronger with each experience of pushing ourselves.
Do you want to be strong? Accept the strain.
“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed–not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence–continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.” (Philippians 2:12 NIV)
Do you try to avoid any strain in your life? How can focusing on God help you to accept the strain and grow stronger?
Our kids from Lincoln, Nebraska were here visiting and we went kayaking together on Tuesday morning. We went to a new spot at Pease Creek, which flows into the Missouri River. The wind was stronger than we had anticipated, but after we braved the waves and current of the “creek,” we had an easier time paddling along the opposite shore.
We enjoyed the scenery as we went upstream. Swallows darted around us in several places. We saw a little island and made that our goal. “We’ll go around the island and then the wind will push us back to where we got in.”
Only it didn’t work quite that way. After we got around the island, the wind seemed to have died down. We had to work harder than we had planned as we went back downstream.
We still had a ways to go when I noticed our daughter Erin getting frustrated.
Her kayak kept turning to the right for some strange reason. If she paddled, she was okay, but if she stopped for even a few seconds the front end swung off to the right and she ended up sideways in the waves.
We were close together, and I could see her getting more and more perturbed. She sighed and grumbled. She’d paddle a little and then I watched her kayak slowly turn right again. I felt sorry for her, but I couldn’t really do anything to help her.
I kept going and concentrated on getting my own arms to keep working. I was tired!
All of a sudden I looked ahead and I saw Erin digging her paddle into the water with determination. Gary was still ahead of her, but she had blown by the rest of us and she was getting close to the shore. She was mad and she wanted this kayak trip to be over as soon as possible.
She still seemed a bit ticked when the rest of us pulled up to the beach, but she didn’t take it out on anyone. She helped put the kayaks on the trailer and she was pleasant on the ride back home.
When we talked about it later, she said that was a conscious choice. She was so mad in the water, so she decided to just get to shore as fast as she could. After that she had to choose to let her anger go so she didn’t act like a jerk to the rest of us.
I was impressed and proud of her. And I was also challenged, because way too often when I get frustrated because something isn’t going my way, I just sit and complain. I get mad, but I don’t do anything about it. If the situation gets better, sometimes I still carry the anger with me and take it out on the rest of the family.
How much different life would be if I could practice what I saw Erin do the other day.
When I get angry because I’m veering off course, I can use that anger to fuel my forward motion. I can set my sights on where I want to go, dig in, and paddle hard until I arrive at my destination.
You may have an area of life where you’re frustrated, listing off to the side instead of moving closer to your goal. The Holy Spirit wants to help us, but we have to put in the work necessary to move forward. We can’t just sit still and expect to get where we want to go.
We need to sit at the computer and type if we want to write that article, devotion, or book.
We have to find something else to do when we’re tempted to eat out of boredom or stress.
We have to make time to read and study hard if we want that diploma or degree.
We need to let go of the past and focus on the plans God has for us in the future.
Get mad at the sins and distractions that are hindering your progress. Dig in and ask God to help you figure out the next steps you need to take to move forward. Paddle hard until you accomplish what God is calling you to do.
Get mad! Dig in! Paddle hard!
“But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13–14 NIV).
Are you frustrated because it doesn’t seem like you’re getting any closer to your goals? How can focusing on God help you to move forward?
This week I’m attending PENCON—a virtual conference (at least this year) for Christian editors. I’m enjoying it so much. I’m learning new things about editing and being challenged to improve my skills. It has also been encouraging to hear from other editors who lament the fact that they’ll never catch every error in a client’s project, but they are determined to do the very best they can to make an author’s words shine for their readers.
Authors are constantly being mentioned in the sessions and the conversations we are having. After all, editors wouldn’t have jobs if there weren’t writers who need editing.
A writer has to be trusting and accept the changes the editor makes. If the author rejects every change and ignores every suggestion for improvement, their piece of writing will remain rough and possibly unclear.
Inexplicably, there are authors like that. They pay an editor large sums of money for their services, and then fight the changes the editor wants to make. The writer wants to hold on to the precious words they’ve crafted, unwilling to move things around, delete, or rewrite.
It’s much better when an author will agree to the changes made or suggested by a good editor. They might grieve the loss of a scene or character they’ve grown to love, but the writer will let it go because they trust that the editor has the good of their writing in mind.
The author and editor develop a mutually beneficial relationship that results in a polished project that will have the greatest impact on a reader—whether that impact is for learning, inspiration, or entertainment.
All of us have an editor in life.
It’s God, of course, working in us through the Holy Spirit. He firmly points out changes that need to be made in our lives. Some things need a little tweaking, others need to be rewritten, and many may need to be deleted.
It hurts. We love our lives. Even if we don’t love every part, we’ve at least gotten comfortable with our habits and relationships.
When the Holy Spirit points out something that needs to change, we may want to reject his suggestion, like a stubborn writer refuses to accept editing.
When we do that, we’re destined to remain rough and confused in our lives. We’ll never become the person God wants us to be. We’ll never make the greatest impact we can on the world around us.
We have to trust the editor. God has our best in mind, and he wants to make us into the image of Jesus, his son. He won’t change our personality or voice, but he’ll change us and make us the very best we can be if we work with him.
Let’s not be clueless and stubborn. Let’s be teachable and accept the changes.
“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” (Philippians 2:12–13 NIV)
Do you work with the Holy Spirit when he wants to make changes in your life? How can focusing on God help you to accept those changes and become more like Christ?
