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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Beginning the Year Well

Happy New Year!

It’s the first day of January. We want to eat right, exercise, read the Bible in a year, keep our finances in order, never lose our temper with our kids, have the perfect marriage, and be the best friend anyone has ever had. Everyone’s social media posts inspire us (or depress us) as we see what they plan to do this year.

May I humbly suggest a few ideas that could help us begin the year well?

  1. Live your own life. It can be tempting to compare our own plans to those of our friends, neighbors, and relatives. If we think someone else’s lofty goals seem better than ours it could lead to confusion, desperation, and despair. Pray about what God wants you to tackle, then move ahead, being willing to adjust as he leads you.
  2. Live for others. Make sure to include some ways to help others in the coming year. Self-centered lives seldom bring much joy, but reaching out to others will improve our own emotional well-being and theirs.
  3. Live for God. As a Christian, this is of utmost importance to me. (If you want to know more, go to The Robyn’s Nest and click on “About Me.”) If you are a person of faith, try to set some time aside each day to read the Bible and pray. It can make a world of difference in how we interact with others and react to the circumstances that come up daily.

The first day of the year is exciting, but too often we feel pressure to do everything “just right.” Let’s push aside that pressure, friends, and begin the year well.

“Look to the Lord and his strength; seek his face always. Remember the wonders he has done, his miracles, and the judgments he pronounced.” (1 Chronicles 16:11–12 NIV)

Are you feeling lots of pressure to do “all the things” in 2021? How can focusing on God help you to begin the year well and feel more relaxed as you do it?

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Meaningful Monday: Let’s Focus on Ending the Year Well

Graphic with calendars and the blog post title by robynmulder.com

Over the last few days, I’ve been starting to reflect on the highs and lows of 2020. Of course, many of those (especially the lows) are common to all of us, but I’ve been thinking about my specific successes and failures.

Because of my temperament and personality, I noticed the failures first.

The stack of Christmas cards from family and friends brought joy as I read each one (and also guilt because I didn’t do cards this year).

Cleaning up my inbox, I came across some emails reminding me of courses I had signed up to take (and haven’t finished yet).

Looking over some credit card statements, I noticed several books I purchased (and haven’t read yet).

It was tempting to get down on myself for these little failures (and I did for a while), but this morning I woke up with a new attitude. I was almost giddy as I thought about possibilities for the new year. It would have been so easy to make a list of all the things I want to accomplish in 2021 and jump into the new year with idealistic goals and plans.

But as the day went on, I sensed the Holy Spirit inviting me to slow down a bit and finish the year well before I begin a new one.

I’m not exactly sure what that looks like, but I’m going to spend some time pondering it in the remaining days of 2020.

I want to look at why I didn’t get to creative projects like Christmas cards, a possible podcast, and completing a book on depression.

I’ll take a look at my plan calendar and see how I spent my time, tweaking it (actually it needs an overhaul) for 2021.

I’ll think about why I still weigh the same, even though I’ve been saying for months and months that I want to get healthier.

And I’ll make my mind acknowledge the successes of the year, even though it wants to belittle everything good I’ve done. I’ll rack my brain and make a list (a long list) of all of the good things that happened this year.

If I go into the new year regretting my mistakes and failures, it will only stifle the potential for future growth and joy. If I can make peace with the things about this year that disappointed me, I can end the year well in spite of them.

“I have considered my ways and have turned my steps to your statutes. I will hasten and not delay to obey your commands.” (Psalm 119:59–60 NIV)

How do you feel about this past year? Are there things you need to do so you can end the year well? How can focusing on God help you to make peace with 2020 before you move on to 2021?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Watching Out for the Shift

I made a mess in the Dollar General parking lot the other night. All because I wasn’t watching out for the shift.

I was coming home from picking up our son Dylan from college and we decided to stop and say hi to Blake (our other son) while he was working. Dylan got out and opened the back door to grab his coat and…smash!

I was so confused at first. What could have broken? He didn’t have any lamps or vases he was bringing home for Christmas break. I rounded the back of the Mariner and saw a jar of spaghetti sauce—in many, many pieces. Oops!

It seems I had thrown some groceries in on the back seat and they had shifted as we covered the miles between Orange City, Iowa and home. When the door opened, the jar fell.

So, instead of a happy reunion between brothers, our stop at Dollar General turned into, “Blake, do you have a dustpan and something I can use to scoop up a jar of spaghetti sauce in the parking lot?”

I hadn’t been watching out for the shift, and I wasted time and money because of it.

I definitely should have put the bag with the jars on the floor instead of on the seat. On the floor they would have stayed in the vehicle, even if they had moved around a little with all of the stops and starts and twists and turns of the drive.

Up on the seat was a precarious place for breakable things.

I’ve been thinking ever since that little mishap. There are parts of us that can get broken if we aren’t careful. Emotions and feelings that are much more precious than a jar of sauce.

When we let our thoughts and emotions go wherever they want, there’s a high probability that they will shift during all of the stops and starts and twists and turns of life. We might end up hurting ourselves or others when that shift leads to brokenness.

If we keep our thoughts set on the foundation (for me, that’s the Bible), then there’s little risk of damage, even if they move around a bit. When we’re focused on what God says, we have a greater chance of staying safe and whole.

Watch out for the shift, my friends, especially if you’ve wandered far from that firm foundation.

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock [or a wise woman who puts her spaghetti sauce on the floor].” (Matthew 7:24 NIV, brackets mine)

Are your thoughts resting on a firm foundation, or are they in danger of shifting? How can focusing on God help you to think wisely and stay safe and whole?

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Meaningful Monday: Let’s Focus on What to Do When We Feel Wobbly

When I was admitted to the behavioral health unit of our regional hospital back in September of 2014, my husband, Gary, and one of my friends each gave me a copy of Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. The first devotion I read included these words: “You are feeling wobbly this morning….”

That was an understatement. Complete hopelessness had led to my stay in the hospital, so I certainly resonated with the idea of being “wobbly.”

That word has been coming to mind in recent weeks. I’m not hopeless, but something is off. There’s a wobble in my daily life that needs to be addressed.

It’s taking me a bit longer to fall asleep at night, and there have been a few mornings when I have gone back to sleep after the alarm went off.

I’ve been reaching for snacks, games on my ipad, and other distractions when stress levels rise, instead of digging into all of the projects I say I’d like to complete.

My thoughts are spinning a little too much, keeping me from focusing on the important things in life. That’s why I missed a Focus Friday post a few weeks ago and this week I’m writing a Meaningful Monday post.

I’m not sharing this to alarm anyone or to get sympathy. I’m writing it because I know others are going through a similar season of “wobble.” I can see it in their Facebook posts and comments. I can see it on the faces of people around town and at church. I can hear it in the voices of family, friends, and people I listen to on social media. Many of us are getting quite wobbly.

So what are we supposed to do? Let me suggest a few ideas:

  1. Talk about it. Don’t struggle in silence. Just admitting that we’re a little wobbly to those closest to us can help us to find our footing in these crazy times. You may feel better and you just might help someone else by voicing your feelings.
  2. Do something. Figure out what helps you to stop wobbling and do those things. It’s going to be different for every person, so try some things and keep a list of what helps so you can go to it when you feel that wobble happening. (If the wobble has gotten too bad, you may need professional help. Don’t be afraid to talk to your doctor or counselor and take their advice so you can get back to a more healthy place.)
  3. Remember the truth. Often when we get wobbly, it’s because we’re believing lies about our situation, the people around us, or ourselves. Write down what you’re thinking and see if it matches up with what the Bible says. God’s words are trustworthy; our thoughts usually are not.

I’m not too worried about being wobbly, but I am taking notice of it. I know it will probably get worse if I ignore it. Living wobbly will keep me frustrated and sidetracked (and could lead to depression). Doing something as soon as I notice the wobble will get me back to moving steadily ahead.

“So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the teachings we passed on to you, whether by word of mouth or by letter.” (2 Thessalonians 2:15 NIV)

Are you a little wobbly lately? What helps you stop wobbling? How can focusing on God help you to live more steady?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Seizing the Day

Last Saturday was a beautiful day here in South Dakota.

Gary suggested that we go kayaking on the Missouri River.

Now, it would have been easy to push that idea aside and just do our normal Saturday stuff. It takes some work to get the kayaks ready and gather the paddles and life jackets. It takes time to drive to the river. But we decided to go for it.

After we decided to kayak, we ran into another obstacle. The Missouri River was so low that our normal spot to get in was impossible. There wasn’t enough water to float in the little bay leading to the big river. We drove around and checked out other spots, walking from parking lots and figuring we’d get stuck in the mud if we attempted to get in the river there.

We finally parked by the little wayside chapel right by the Platte-Winner bridge and carried the kayaks down a hill. My flip-flops seemed like a poor choice on the steepest part of the route to the water. But we made it.

During the summer, I had begged Gary to let me kayak under the bridge to the other side of the river, but he had (wisely) refused to allow it. The wind, waves, and lots of boats on the water would have made it pretty tough to paddle the mile across the Missouri.

But last Saturday was perfect. No wind, no waves, and no boats. We got in, shoved off, and peacefully paddled under the huge cement supports of the bridge.

It was just as cool as I’d imagined it would be when I begged to do it this summer. So peaceful and so neat to go under the bridge and hear the cars passing by overhead.

We made it to the other side without any problems.

We turned around to go back and decided to go south of the bridge so the trucks could see us as they crossed. It was rewarding to hear a couple of them honk when they saw us.

It was so much fun to cross the mile-wide Missouri River on November 28.

We could have missed it if Gary hadn’t recognized how perfect the day was for making my wish come true.

We could have missed it if we had decided it wasn’t worth the effort and stayed home.

We could have missed it if we had given up trying to find a good place to get in the water.

I’m glad we seized the day and pushed through the obstacles so we could enjoy our little adventure.

I wonder how many things we miss out on because we don’t always seize the day. Let’s keep our eyes, minds, and hearts open to all of the opportunities around us. Just think of all the adventures we’ll have if we do that!

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.” (Ephesians 5:15–17 NIV)

Do you make sure to seize the day, or do you miss out because you get stuck in your normal patterns of life? How can focusing on God help you to make the most of every opportunity that comes up?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Soft Hearts

The world is a crazy place right now.

I know, there have always been scary, evil, violent things happening, but it feels like it’s gotten worse this year.

If we aren’t careful, we might find ourselves hardening our hearts just to get through it.

It’s understandable. It’s human nature to draw back when we’re confused, frightened, or overwhelmed. And I’m sure most of us are feeling all of those emotions lately.

There’s just one problem, though. Hardening our hearts puts a divide between us and everyone else. Especially when we think differently than other people. We need to have a soft heart if we’re going to interact well with the world around us.

A hard heart keeps us suspicious, cynical, and angry. A soft heart allows us to be trusting, understanding, and compassionate.

We have to keep going to the Lord if we want to have soft hearts. Reading his promises to us in the Bible, thanking him for the blessings in our lives, and praying for the Holy Spirit to work in us are all ways we can get rid of that heart of stone and have soft hearts once again.

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.” (Ezekiel 36:26 NIV)

How’s your heart lately? Is it hard because of all of the chaos in the world right now? How can focusing on God help you to have a soft heart instead?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Being Satisfied

On Wednesday at youth group, we talked about the traps and snares the devil sets for us and how we can get free from them.

In our discussion time with the eighth grade girls I help mentor, I shared that I really felt that I fell into the trap of overeating way too often. Just that day I had gone to the cupboard in search of a candy bar leftover from Halloween, but I told the girls that I felt like God was saying, “No, you don’t have to eat that right now. You’re not hungry.” So I obeyed and put it back.

At one point in this conversation, one of the girls exclaimed in surprise, “Wait! It’s a sin to eat too much?”

I tried to explain that it can be a sin without heaping shame on these junior high girls who are just starting to think more deeply about what sin is and how they can live for the Lord. I’m not sure I succeeded in getting my point across.

The thing is, we need to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s promptings in all areas of life. Eating is the area where God is working in me right now. Over the years, I’ve put on extra pounds because I have run to the fridge or cupboard when I’m bored or stressed, and often I’ve continued eating way past the feeling of full signaling that it’s time to stop.

Is that sin? Yes.

Is it hard to see it as sin? Yes.

James 1:14 says, “Each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed.” I’m caught in the trap Satan set up for me because he knows my weakness for candy, ice cream, and chips.

The only way out of the trap I’m in is repentance. Being truly sorry when I eat when I’m not hungry or eat past that feeling of full. So far, I’ve said I’m sorry, but my actions prove that I’m not completely honest (with myself or God).

God loves me unconditionally. He loves every single pound of me. He’ll keep loving me no matter what pants size I wear.

But he wants my heart. When I feel unsatisfied, he doesn’t want me running to the cupboard, he wants me to run to him.

I can eat whatever I want when I’m hungry, but the Spirit gently nudges me when I sin by overeating. He points out that a bowl of ice cream (when I’m already full from lunch) will not satisfy me. It will just taste good for a few bites and then it might taste like regret.

Hopefully I’ve given you some things to chew on this week. If overeating isn’t a sin you struggle with, maybe you can think of something that has been a trap for you and apply the same principles:

Your desire leads to temptation and sin. You give in and get caught in the trap. You can stay there, or you can repent and get free.

Being satisfied with the relationship we have with Jesus can keep us from falling into the traps of sin that are set for us.

“Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.” (Matthew 5:6 ESV)

Is it hard to see some of the things you do as sin? How can focusing on God help you to be honest with yourself and turn away from those things, choosing to be satisfied with God instead?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Believing in What Matters

Is anyone else tired of words lately?

They come at us from every direction. Everyone wants to tell us something, or warn us about something, or sell us something.

It’s exhausting after a while. That’s why I’ve been scrolling faster through my Facebook feed. That’s why I’m sending more and more emails directly to the trash instead of taking the time to do much more than skim them. That’s why I’m avoiding the news on television. Too much of all of those things suck the life right out of me.

It seems like there’s only one time and place where words give me energy and hope. It’s in the mornings when I read my Bible.

This morning a passage from John reminded me that believing in Jesus is the only thing that really matters. If we believe in him, then we’ll live (even after we die physically). And if we live for him, we’ll never die.

You won’t hear that from the words of the world. Those voices want you to believe in yourself, the government, the economy, the entertainment industry, and everything but Jesus.

Those things don’t bring life. They all fall short and fail us sooner or later. Jesus is the only one who will never fail us.

It sounds too good to be true for people who hang on every word the world utters. But it’s not too good to be true. It’s the only thing that is true.

That’s enough of my words for today. Check out God’s words in the Bible and you’ll see how they bring you back to believing in what really matters.

“I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.” (John 11:25–26 NIV)

Are you tired of all the words you hear and read each day? How can focusing on God help you sift through those words and believe what matters?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Self-Promotion

Something exciting happened this week.

I’m on a podcast! My friend Janell Wood interviewed me back in September about my experience with depression, and “my” episode of the Finding Something Real podcast went live on Wednesday.

My first thought was to share it everywhere, but then my brain started to protest.

You can’t do that! That’s self-promoting! Christians are supposed to be humble and that’s definitely not humble to tell everyone you’re on a podcast.

Thankfully, I decided to catch those thoughts and take a closer look at them. Is it bad to tell others about something that could be helpful? Is it prideful to share a resource that could encourage or inspire lots of people?

I did a quick Google search about self-promotion and found an interview from 2008 with John Piper: What Is the Difference Between Good and Bad Self-Promotion?

In it, he asks: Is it right for a Christian to want to be influential?

His answer: If what is influencing people is the truth, the beauty of Christ, the glory of God—”Yes, it’s right and good.”

How reassuring!

When we create something—an article, a work of art, a book, a song, a poem—we can share it with confidence if it’s true and if our desire is to glorify God (not ourselves).

People will get turned off pretty quickly if they see us saying, “Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!” But they’ll appreciate what we’re sharing when we say, “Look at what God has done for me! I want to tell you about this so God can work in your life, too!”

Matthew 6:1 warns: “Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.”

That’s bad self-promotion, but we can confidently practice good self-promotion because we know people will see God in the things we share.

As for me, God brought me through a terrible time of depression. If my story can help others, I’ll gladly risk being misunderstood as I do a bit of self-promotion. (And if you think it might help someone you know, please consider telling them about the podcast or this blog. Thanks!)

“So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31 NIV)

Does self-promotion make you uncomfortable? How can focusing on God help you to confidently share things that will help others?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Forgetting the Past

Thinking too much about our past can really mess up how we’re living in the present and stifle our possibilities for the future.

I’m not saying we should completely wipe out all memories of the past. Reliving good times and successes can bring us joy and boost our confidence. Remembering mistakes and failures can keep us from making the same errors all over again.

We get into trouble when we rehearse the past (especially the negatives) over and over again in our minds. I don’t think it does us any good to dwell on what we could have done differently, how we should have responded, or what we would have done if we could go back and relive those moments.

We did something. We made the best (or worst) choice we could have made at the time. Now we have to live with it and move on.

We remember, but we choose to forget the past so that we can move forward. (If that’s extremely difficult to do, it may help to talk to a professional counselor so you can get unstuck.)

Let’s spend the majority of our time taking advantage of the present so we can look forward to an even better future.

“One thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13–14 NIV)

Do you spend way too much time thinking about the past? How can focusing on God help you to live well right now?

I did a short video on this topic tonight over in my “Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder” Facebook group. Check it out…and if you want to see more videos that might help you catch your thoughts, I invite you to join the group.