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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Getting Back to What Matters

I haven’t posted for a while. You may have noticed, or maybe you didn’t.

I know, if you’re like me, that your inbox is probably full of people telling you about their latest post, their latest product, their latest thoughts. I read some, I skim some, I delete some.

To be honest, I got into a “What’s the use?” kind of mindset after my last post.

I wondered if what I had to say really made a difference to anyone, especially with the chaos of the coronavirus situation weighing us down. There were other people posting humorous videos, providing free online concerts, and giving inspirational insights to get us all through this difficult time.

And then, about a week or so after I didn’t write, I heard someone quote Jeff Goins: “Just because something is successful doesn’t mean it has to keep going.” Now, I don’t know if I’d call my blog “successful,” but that got me thinking that maybe I had done weekly blog posts long enough. Maybe “Focus Friday” had run its course and it was time for something different.

Every week that went by just made it that much easier to not write the next week.

It’s not that I was getting depressed (although I’ve dealt with a few more ups and downs during this pandemic), but I was definitely questioning my purpose. I kept spending time every morning reading my Bible, but it felt harder to share what I was learning.

I can’t say that I’m back because I had some big epiphany. If anything, it feels a little more difficult to add my voice back into the mix right now. But this week, I have felt an urgency to get back to what matters.

God calls each person to different tasks and issues. For me, it’s writing and speaking about mental health. Even though I don’t have all the answers, I want to be someone who encourages people to hold onto hope and reach out for help so they can get (and then stay) emotionally healthy.

What matters, for me, is learning to love God, live for Jesus, and let the Holy Spirit work in me. If I focus on those things, the rest of this chaotic life will fall into place (or the unimportant things will just fall away).

It’s good to be back. If you’ve gotten off course, I pray you’ll find your way back to what matters, too.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly” (Matthew 11:28-30 The Message).

Have you strayed away from what matters? How can focusing on God help you to get back to finding your purpose in life?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Rufous-Sided Towhees

There was a bird hopping around in our garden a while back. I had no idea what it was. I combed through my bird book and tried to match up its features with the pictures I saw. I thought I was close a couple of times, but I couldn’t figure it out. I saw it often for about two weeks and not knowing was really bugging me.

Finally, I messaged a picture to my mom and texted her to ask my dad if he knew what it was. Seconds later, the reply came back: Rufous-sided towhee.

I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t even know there was such a bird!

Here’s a close-up from Google images (S.D. Stanton, 2009). Isn’t it beautiful?

After I asked my dad and got my answer, I wondered why I hadn’t done that a couple of weeks ago when I first saw it. Growing up, my dad was always getting out the bird book and using binoculars to identify the feathered friends who visited our bird feeder. Of course he would know what bird that was without even having to look it up.

He knew the answer. I just had to ask.

I often do the same thing with my heavenly Father. I stumble along in life, searching desperately for answers to my problems, looking in all the wrong places.

I forget that I have a Father who created the whole world (even the rufous-sided towhee!). He has a plan for each of his created beings (that’s you and me). As we take each step in faith, God will make that plan clear to us. We may not always understand where His plan is taking us, but we can trust Him to lead us exactly where we need to go.

I forget that He loves each of us unconditionally. He loves me, with all of my mistakes, flaws, and insecurities. He loves me, with all of my successes, talents, and accomplishments. He loves others, whether they believe in Him or not. We may not always understand each other’s beliefs and opinions, but God can show us how to love each other, too.

I forget that God cares about each detail of my life. He cares about my health, work, leisure, family, friends, and all the rest. When I get stuck with problems in one of those areas, He knows about it and He wants to help.

God knows all of the answers. I just have to ask.

“Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.” (Jeremiah 33:3 NIV)

Have you ever seen a rufous-sided towhee? Who do you go to when you have questions or problems? How can focusing on God help you to ask Him for answers first (instead of last)?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on What to Do When We’re Afraid

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise—in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” (Psalm 56:3-4 NIV)

Are you ever afraid?

I’m not just talking about the shock of adrenaline you get when you see a snake or a spider in a place you didn’t expect. Yes, there’s some fear there (for some people more than others), but I’m asking about something deeper.

Do you ever feel afraid down to the core of your soul about some threat to your physical, emotional, or spiritual well-being?

Maybe the doctor has some bad news for you, or you’re worried about what someone thinks of you, or you did something sinful and you’re afraid you’ll never be the same again.

If you’re human, you will be afraid from time to time. The psalmist David says it in Psalm 56:3. “When I am afraid.” Not “if” I am afraid. “When” I am afraid. That means it’s inevitable for the rest of us, too.

It’s not just during a pandemic that we’ll be afraid. That situation has come and it will go, but the things that make us afraid will persist in our lives, paralyzing us if we don’t know how to handle them.

David shows us what to do: “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.”

Can we do that? It’s not something that happens automatically. It’s a choice we have to make. The fear wells up inside, and we have to say, “God, I trust you. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I trust you.”

When we do that, the fear goes away. We still don’t know the outcome of the situation, but we can face it without fear.

I think it’s interesting that David writes those thoughts in two ways: “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you” and then “in God I trust and am not afraid.” Afraid, trust, not afraid.

We will have to repeat that cycle over and over as we go through all of the trials that come up in life. That’s okay. As long as we don’t get stuck in the “afraid” phase of the sequence, we’ll keep moving forward in faith.

If we use this time during the pandemic to practice, maybe it will be a little easier to live in trust instead of fear once life gets back to “normal.”

“When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise—in God I trust and am not afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” (Psalm 56:3-4 NIV)

What are you afraid of? How can focusing on God help you to choose to trust Him and not be afraid?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on What’s to Come

When I thought about what to write this week, Jeremiah 29:11 came to mind. Yes, that would be a good reminder, I thought. God has good plans for us. We can look forward to the future, even though we don’t understand what’s happening right now.

I decided to look at that verse in The Message version: “I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out – plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.”

The end of that verse threw me when I read it. God’s going to give me the future I hope for? So if I just hope that the world is going to go back to normal and that none of my friends and family die from the coronavirus, He’ll give me that? If I just hope for a future with good health and material blessings, I’ll get that?

I realized I needed to look at the verses around Jeremiah 29:11 to make sense of that phrase.

“This is what the Lord says: ‘When seventy years are completed for Babylon, I will come to you and fulfill my good promise to bring you back to this place. For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.'” (Jeremiah 29:10-12 NIV)

Oh! So Israel was in captivity in Babylon. The future they hoped for was to come back to Jerusalem. That was God’s plan for them, too, so He was going to make it happen.

It might look like verse 12 says they’ll call on God and pray to Him after they get back to Jerusalem, but verses 13 & 14 make that more clear: “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.”

The calling on God and praying to Him and seeking Him all would happen while they were still in captivity. They were living as slaves in a foreign land, but Jeremiah gives them the promise that eventually (after 70 years!) they’ll be able to go back to life as normal in Jerusalem. They’re encouraged to settle into Babylon and actually enjoy life there. Verses 5-7 urge them to build houses, plant gardens, eat, marry, have children, and seek the peace and prosperity of Babylon.

The note in my Bible for Jeremiah 29:4-7 includes these interesting thoughts: “Life cannot grind to a halt during troubled times. In an unpleasant or distressing situation, we must adjust and keep moving.” (NIV Life Application Study Bible, Zondervan, 2011)

We are certainly in troubled times right now. We don’t know exactly what’s going to happen, but we can have hope. God knows what He’s doing. He’s got it all planned out. He will take care of us and He won’t abandon us.

We have to adjust and keep moving as we call on Him, pray to Him, and seek Him each and every day. We can even look forward to what’s to come, because we know it’s in His plan.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)

Does your future seem hopeless right now? How can focusing on God help you to pray continuously and move ahead in faith instead of fear?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Being Crucified With Christ

I’ve been reading from My Utmost For His Highest by Oswald Chambers during my devotional time in the mornings. The verse for April 10 was Romans 6:6, but I decided to read verses 1-14. How fitting that today–Good Friday–I would read about Co-Crucifixion.

That’s a gruesome thought, isn’t it? Most of us have probably seen the movies that show in graphic detail the pain and suffering Jesus went through on that cruel cross. We don’t like to imagine ourselves dying like that. And, of course, we don’t literally have to, because Jesus died for us.

But we do have to be crucified with Christ. Oswald Chambers said, “…it is the great moment in my life when I do decide that just as Jesus Christ died for the sin of the world, so sin must die out in me, not be curbed or suppressed or counteracted, but crucified.”

It reminded me of a song based on Galatians 2:20: “I am crucified with Christ, therefore I no longer live. Jesus Christ now lives in me.” (You can hear it at the beginning of Steve Green’s song Embrace the Cross on YouTube.)

The truth is, I want to live with Christ, but I don’t really want to die with him. I’d rather keep holding on to my selfish little sins and rely on his grace. But Paul asks right here in Romans 6:1, “Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?”

We can’t. I can’t. So today I’ve been pondering that thought. “I am crucified with Christ.” If I truly believe that, then I may feel some pain as I decide to let the sin in me be put to death. I may have to endure some discomfort and I may not feel very good when I deny myself something.

But it’s worth it. When I allow the Holy Spirit to help me, I can be crucified with Christ. Today I’ll think about Jesus’ suffering as he died, and I’ll grieve my own sins that put him there. But I’ll also remember that I have hope.

He didn’t stay dead. On Sunday morning, he rose! And because he lives, I can live, too. He lives in me now, and in each person that believes that he died for them.

It’s almost too much for our human brains to comprehend. Such suffering! Such sacrifice!

Such love!

“For if we have been united with [Jesus] in a death like his, we will certainly also be united with him in a resurrection like his.” (Romans 6:5 NIV)

Have you ever thought about being crucified with Christ? How can focusing on God help you to decide to put the sin in you to death and let Christ live in you instead?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Little Victories

I love Wheel of Fortune.

I can solve most of the puzzles pretty quickly.

I yell at the screen when someone wastes money buying a vowel.

When Gary’s around, I say, “I should be on that show!” He always agrees.

Trouble is, I’ve been saying that for years. And I never took the time to fill out an application online and make a little audition video.

I’m sure it was fear (it usually is). What if I actually go on the show and make a fool of myself? What if I get nervous and can’t solve a single puzzle? What if I say “and” when it’s a crossword puzzle?

So I didn’t apply. That was safer. That was more comfortable. Until it wasn’t.

Lately it started to bother me that I hadn’t applied. After I watched every show, I felt a strange sensation inside. What if they stop asking for contestants? What if Pat and Vanna decide to retire? What if I never even try?

I finally decided I’d waited long enough. I didn’t want to have any regrets about not doing my part to try to get on the show. So last Sunday I had Gary record me doing my little one minute audition and I filled out the online application. (See the video here or down below.)

It’s a little victory!

In this uncertain time, it may seem silly to try out for Wheel of Fortune, but maybe there’s something you’ve been putting off for a long, long time.

Instead of binging on Netflix and scrolling your Facebook feed, maybe you can do something to get a little closer to one of your dreams.

You want to write a book? Take a blank sheet of paper and brainstorm all the ideas you can about your topic.

You dream of visiting a foreign country? Well, that one may have to wait a while, but for now you could take a half hour and research the country’s most popular attractions.

You want to lose some weight? Write down what you’re going to do for exercise every day this week.

You want to get more organized? Set a timer for fifteen minutes and clean out one drawer.

When you get those things done, you can celebrate your little victories. And lots of little victories will eventually lead to some giant wins.

At least that’s what I’m hoping for when I get to the Bonus Round.

“Hard work always pays off; mere talk puts no bread on the table.” (Proverbs 14:23 The Message)

Do you feel defeated right now? How can focusing on God help you to celebrate some little victories and get closer to accomplishing your goals?

What do you think? Do I have a shot?
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Super Saturday: Let’s Focus on Something Other Than the Coronavirus

Wow. I haven’t had a Super Saturday post in a long time. I blame the coronavirus.

Oh, don’t worry. I don’t have it, but I have been dealing with the stress of bouncing from thinking “it’s not a big deal” to the extreme of “we’re all going to die.” I’ve been listening to the news and reading most of the posts people are putting on their Facebook feeds.

On Friday we found out that our son’s college is sending everyone home by Wednesday and they’ll complete the school year with online classes. (Just when we were getting used to the empty nest!)

I’m not going to recap the situation or speculate about all that is happening around the world in regards to this pandemic. I’m sure most of you have heard more than enough about all of this.

Instead, I want us to take some time to focus on something other than the coronavirus.

When fear wants to control our thoughts and actions, let’s focus instead on the fact that God has everything under control and we can move ahead with confidence–no matter what happens.

When Satan whispers that everything is meaningless, let’s focus instead on all that is still right and beautiful and good in this big, wide world.

When anxiety tries to hold us hostage and keep us from getting things done, let’s focus instead on the peace we can choose (over and over again) and the confidence we can gain as we do things in spite of feeling anxious.

When we’re tempted to sit all alone and worry, let’s focus instead on who we can reach out to and encourage. We can do that through a phone call, a handwritten card or letter (remember those?), or even a timely Facebook post.

When it feels like everything is falling apart, let’s focus instead on how God keeps everything together. We may not understand it all right now, but we can trust Him and move forward in faith.

There’s so much more to focus on than . . . wait – what was that thing we were so worried about?

“Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together [except during the coronavirus pandemic], as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:23-25 NIV – brackets mine)

Are you dealing with extra stress during these uncertain times? How can focusing on God help you to keep living well each day – in spite of the questions you may have?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Birthdays

Today is my birthday.

I wasn’t planning to write about it. It’s not a “special” birthday. Almost halfway between 50 and 60, I always have to do the math when someone asks me how old I am (I know I’m 54 today, but I’ll probably forget by next week).

Gary and the kids (near and far) wished me a happy birthday this morning. We didn’t go anywhere special (but we’re planning to go out for supper next week). I cleaned a little, did an editing job, and had a pretty normal day.

A friend dropped off a card and a plate of goodies when I wasn’t looking. Another friend dropped off a chicken (for the freezer – not a live one!) and stayed to chat for a while. All day long I heard little pings coming from my phone and I knew birthday messages were coming in on Facebook.

I saw a few of them earlier in the day, but I finally sat down to “like” each of them tonight. So many messages from so many friends and family members. As I tapped and scrolled through all of them, I was overwhelmed by how rich my life is.

There were greetings from people in Michigan (where I grew up), and then from Rock Rapids, Iowa (where we lived after we got married); Orange City, IA (my college years and later, Gary’s); Holland, Michigan (seminary years); Chandler, Minnesota (our first church); Allison, Iowa (our second church); and Platte, South Dakota (where we are now).

I had messages from childhood friends, high school friends, college friends, lots of family members, church and community friends from all over, and so many writer friends.

I needed that reminder of all of the people God has brought into my life over the years.

They have each made my life better in some way, and I hope I’ve added to their lives as well.

Facebook showed me greetings from a small percentage of all of the people I actually know and love in my life. A birthday is a good day to remember, to give thanks, and to look forward to all of the people God will bring into my life in the year ahead.

Thank you for your friendship, whether you wrote on my wall or not. If we haven’t actually met yet, I hope we do that very soon. Oh, and in case I missed yours: Happy Birthday!

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.” (Proverbs 9:10-11 NIV)

Do you ever take time to think about all of the people God has brought into your life? How can focusing on God help you to be grateful for each birthday you celebrate?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Losing Well

I like to play games. Especially when I’m winning.

Truth be told, I can get just a bit cocky when I’m in the middle of a game and my score keeps getting better. I’m smiling and laughing and teasing my family or friends about how they’re doing.

It’s much harder to stay positive when I get behind and my opponent seems to have all the luck. All of a sudden I get more quiet and the game isn’t quite as fun.

I can remember playing different games with our kids over the years. It seems like quite often we had to talk one of them into continuing to play even though they were losing. They just couldn’t see the point of playing if they couldn’t win. They’d start to pout and storm off to their room.

We spent time trying to teach our kids to lose well. We coached them to keep playing even though they might be losing, because “you never know when the score might turn around!” We even tried to get them to actually cheer for their brother or sister when they won. “Next time it might be you,” we encouraged.

I’d like to think they learned from those games when they were young (although we’ve had a few family fights over the game of Risk when one of us achieved world domination).

I had to practice losing well a couple of times this week.

We went to Rock Rapids, Iowa and stayed with Gary’s mom. The three of us played Rummikub (a tile game) a couple of times and it about killed me when Gary won first, then my mother-in-law, then Gary won again. “It was my turn to win!” I whined. But I got no sympathy from my normally loving husband.

The next day we played again with the same results for the first three games: Gary, Mom, Gary. There may have been just a little too much grumbling and complaining from me as I lost game after game. Finally, I won when we played a seventh round (I wonder if they let me win just so they wouldn’t have to see me pout anymore).

Tonight we played cards with some friends. I did fine on Canadian Salad (Gary was the one who had to lose well on that game), but we ended the night with a game of cribbage. I was giddy and sure of myself while my team was ahead, even pouncing on some points the guys missed while they were counting their hand.

Then, in the final stretch, the guys pulled ahead and I was shocked to find that I missed seeing some points – not once, but twice! What was wrong with me? That never happens!

It was a week of practicing losing well.

It’s kind of fun to trash talk our friends when we’re in the middle of the games we play together, knowing that someone has to win and someone has to lose. Hopefully, we’re not too annoyingly happy when we win and we’re not too pathetically sad when we lose.

We can work on that in other areas of life, too. When things aren’t going our way, it can be tempting to just withdraw and give up trying. We want to stomp off to our room and pout if we can’t win.

Instead, let’s stay in the game. Let’s keep trying and applaud the successes of those around us. Life is more than just a game, and if we believe in Jesus we know that ultimately we’re going to win. We really can’t lose at life, but we do need to practice the same skills we learn by “losing well.”

Perseverance, cheerfulness, kindness, and grace all serve us well as we live our lives. Especially when a 95-year-old woman beats the pants off you in Rummikub.

“Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12 NIV)

How do you feel about losing? How can focusing on God help you to persevere and have a good attitude, even when things aren’t going your way?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Love

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I’m writing this (as I often do) late on a Friday evening, realizing that not everyone celebrates this holiday.

For some, it’s just too painful. They wish they could spend the day with someone special to love, but they’re alone.

For others, it’s hard because they’re either physically or emotionally far away from the one they love.

We didn’t really do anything special today, but we probably should have. Monday was our 30th anniversary, today is Valentine’s Day, and it’s Gary’s birthday today.

It’s not that we didn’t do anything. We went out to eat on Monday night and I made Blueberry Coffeecake tonight. Boy, does that sound lame, even to me. Truth is, we’re just not big celebrators. We really never have been.

We may not go all out on this holiday, but the love is definitely there.

We’ve enjoyed over thirty years of all of the little things that show we love each other:

Washing the cars, baking the cherry pies, changing the diapers, going to work, taking out the garbage, washing the dishes, taking care of the kids, washing the clothes, paying the bills, taking the dishes to the kitchen, changing the batteries in the smoke detectors, picking up the mail, getting groceries, taking care of each other when we’re sick, driving the rental car on vacation, and yes, even buying each other a few gifts, cards, and flowers along the way.

Of course, that list is not exhaustive. How can you list all of the love shown in thirty years?

We’ve made each other laugh – and we’ve made each other cry – but love always reminds us of what’s important.

I don’t know where you’re at today as you read this, but I hope you have people in your life that you love. I hope there are people who love you. I hope you know God’s great love for you and that you love Him with all your heart.

John 3:16 tells us that God loved the world so much that He gave His only Son. If we believe in Jesus we will have eternal life. He died so we could have that life.

That is love. Sacrifice, selflessness, and giving.

We can’t do it perfectly. We’re only human. But we can sure try to show more love to everyone in our lives. Not just on Valentine’s Day, but all year long.

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” (1 John 3:16 NIV)

How are you at showing love? How can focusing on God help you to lay down your life in lots of little ways as you love God and the people He’s put in your life?