Category: Productivity and Perseverance

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Persevering

I recently discovered a new podcast called “Project Perseverance.” The host, Molly Ovenden, started it because she had lots of partially read books on her shelves and she wanted to practice perseverance and read a book from beginning to end and then share what she learned from it. Over time, she has become a writing coach for people who want to persevere and get their writing projects out into the world.

It’s been inspiring for me to listen to the episodes, especially the ones where she’s coaching someone through a specific aspect of their writing.

I’ve been listening, but I’ve also been trying to put what I’m hearing into practice as I finish my own book. (It’s so close!) I can’t procrastinate and run just because I’m nervous about some tricky aspects of formatting my book. I want to keep at it and figure those things out so I can get this project done and out into the hands of readers who need it.

If you’re new around here, let me explain. I went through a major depressive episode in 2014. It sent me to the hospital because I lost all hope. Since then I’ve been proactive about maintaining my mental health. I’ve written a book about my experience and how we can all stay healthy emotionally. I’m planning to publish it on Amazon when I finally finish.

If you aren’t new around here, I’m sure you’re tired of hearing about this book. Well, I hope you’ll indulge me as I keep talking about it. It’s been frustrating (for you and me!) to hear about the possibility of a resource like this but never see it get done. Once it is published, I’m going to keep talking about it, praying that it gets to the people who need it. I hope you’ll talk about it, too, and share it with people in your life with a mental health diagnosis. (Check back for more details once the book gets launched.)

Whatever you’re trying to accomplish, I hope you’ll decide to keep persevering. If you keep moving forward (even if you take tiny steps from time to time), eventually you’ll see the result of your hard work.

If you run from the labor because of fear and uncertainty, that project will never reach completion.

Let’s keep persevering and see what wonderful things we can do with the time and talents God has given us.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

Are you persevering or are you giving up too soon? How can focusing on God help you keep going and accomplish the tasks ahead of you?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on How Far We’ve Come

It can be hard to be content with where we’re at in life when dealing with a mental health diagnosis. Anxiety and depression tend to make us feel despair when we can’t do something as well as we’d like.

I noticed that happening lately.

For exercise, I swim at SDSU several times a week. Besides wanting to move my body and stay in shape, I also want to get faster. I’ve competed in a couple of Masters swim meets, and my times have gone down, but they are far from the record holders in my age group. Those times are about twice as fast as I can swim. That’s discouraging.

So, should I quit swimming? Should I stop competing at the swim meets? No. I need to keep going and concentrate on how much I’ve improved since I started swimming regularly in January 2022. When I first started, I couldn’t swim more than about four lengths of the pool before I had to stop and rest. Now I can sometimes swim twenty lengths without stopping. I couldn’t swim the butterfly stroke at first, but now I’ve been adding it to my workouts and I can do it. It still needs work, but my core is stronger and I can feel my butterfly getting better.

Instead of focusing on how far I have to go, it’s more encouraging to look how far I’ve come. With more time and practice, I’ll get closer to my goals. I may never set a record in swimming, but I can enjoy the progress I make as I work hard and improve.

I can also see improvements in my confidence levels. At times I get frustrated because I get scared and hold back instead of stating my opinion or offering my advice. I’d like to exude confidence and charisma, but my uncertainty wins out way too often. I can focus on that, or I can look back and see how far I’ve come in this area.

I can remember going to a prayer group at my church when I was in high school. I never dared to pray out loud, but I attended faithfully. Later, after Gary and I got married, I went to a weekly women’s Bible study and I would berate myself when I got home because I hadn’t said a single word. I don’t know what those women thought of me, but I was soaking up knowledge from the study and from the things I heard other women share.

Over the years, I’ve gradually gained more confidence. Now I can lead Bible studies, give talks at Mother’s Day programs and other events, and I can talk to people much more easily than when I was in high school and college. I may never give a TED talk, but look how far I’ve come!

If you’re disappointed because you haven’t reached some target in life, try to slow down and focus on little improvements you’ve made over the years. You can make some plans for how you can possibly reach your goal, but show yourself lots of grace while you work hard and move forward. Don’t be dismayed at how far you have to go. Look how far you’ve come!

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” (Proverbs 16:9 NIV)

Do you look forward and feel despair about how far you have to go before you reach a certain goal? How can focusing on God help you move forward in faith, being grateful for how far you’ve come?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Decluttering

I’ve been on a decluttering mission the last couple of weeks. I emptied one of my bookshelves so I could move it across the room, and then I ruthlessly weeded out a good chunk of my collection. I love books, but I don’t have enough time to reread most of them. It’s time to pass them on to someone else.

I keep looking around our home and thinking about what can go. I’m making a big pile. We’ll see if a garage sale is in our future or if I’ll make several trips to a donation center.

When I used to look at my overstuffed bookshelf, it would make me feel stressed. I knew there were quite a few books I hadn’t read yet (I moved those to a smaller bookshelf and I’m making plans to read them in the months ahead and then pass them on). Now my bookshelf isn’t even full, and I can see the titles of books I love and want to keep (at least for now). I feel a sense of peace.

Clutter in our minds isn’t good for our mental health. It’s stressful to hold on to negative thoughts. Maybe it’s time to declutter so we can focus on more helpful, positive ideas. Write down what you’re thinking and decide what has to go. You may need a counselor to help you learn skills for doing that, but it’s worth it.

I started going back to my counselor in Sioux Falls in July to work on a few things that were bothering me. This week we talked about my tendency to seek knowledge from lots of different sources. I read books and listen to podcasts, getting lots of interesting, helpful info. The trouble is, I let all of that good stuff clutter up my mind and I often don’t take action. For me, it can be a form of avoidance.

So my counselor suggested that I go for one week without listening to podcasts. We both had to laugh as my anxiety about that was clearly visible. She could see it all over my face, and I noticed that my right hand started scratching vigorously on my left arm. She had hit a nerve. “But what would I do instead when I’m out for a walk or something?” I asked. “You could listen to music…or just be,” she said.

Just be. What a concept. I don’t do that very well. My mind is constantly analyzing and excusing and chastising and celebrating and planning and wondering.

I think this week without podcasts is going to be good for my mental clutter if I allow the extra time and space to be something healing for me. Instead of filling my brain with more thoughts and ideas from others, I can sort through what I already know and believe. Then I can make sure I’m putting it into practice as I live this beautiful life God’s given me.

I won’t give up podcasts completely after the week is over, but I might be more deliberate about balancing my time, making sure I don’t just listen to tons of episodes and let it all become clutter again.

It all comes down to catching our thoughts, doesn’t it? Learning to focus on things that are excellent and praiseworthy (and true, noble, right, pure, lovely, and admirable as it says in Philippians 4:8). We can get rid of any thoughts that don’t fit in those categories.

You can check out my free, private Facebook group: Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder (and my podcast with the same name) if you want some support and encouragement in your mental decluttering process.* You’ll feel more peace when your mind is clear.

“Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19–21 NIV)

Does clutter bother you? Which is easier for you to see…the clutter in your home or the clutter in your mind? How can focusing on God help you get rid of both types?

*If you want help with decluttering your home, I recommend watching YouTube videos by The Minimal Mom and The Life Tidy. (I’m sure there are lots of other great resources out there, but these are two that have inspired me as I’ve started decluttering.)

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on When We Can’t Make It up the Mountain

Gary and I recently attended Rocky Mountain High—a youth event out in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. For my premium rec activity, I attempted to hike Hallett Peak. The summit is 12,720 feet. I had climbed it a couple of times before, but I wasn’t sure if I could make it this time. I was nervous because I knew I wasn’t in tip-top shape, but I really wanted to experience that mountaintop view once again.

The first couple of miles went okay, but I began to struggle. It felt like I was going in slow motion and I started to feel sick. The last people in our group caught up to me and I expressed my desire to make it to the top. “No problem,” they said. “If you keep up this pace, you’ll make it!” I fell in behind them and kept up for several steps, but then I watched them quickly widen the gap between us. I kept plugging away, but when I got to the snow I decided to turn around. I didn’t have the time or energy to make it.

So, I sat on a rock and ate my lunch, gazing longingly at the summit. I could see lots of people from our group moving around up there. It was so tempting to try to push on and make it, but I just had someone take my picture before I headed back down the trail.

My long walk gave me lots of time to think about how I was going to handle this “failure.” Was I going to cry all the way down? Was I going to beat myself up for even attempting it?

I didn’t do either of those things. Sure, I was disappointed that I hadn’t made it to the top, but I tried to be proud of how far I went. With a little more time, I’m sure I would have made it. I got to see some beautiful scenery. I did the best I could, and that was good.

I can’t help but compare my hike to how we can handle our mental health journeys. We might have a goal in mind. Under the right circumstances, we can achieve it. Sometimes we need to be happy with something that falls short of our goal. As long as we’re doing our best, we can feel proud of ourselves and everything we accomplish.

After my hike, I talked to my husband. We figured out that I still had lots of water in my backpack. I hadn’t been drinking nearly enough on my hike, which may have contributed to my slow pace and feeling sick. He wished he could have hiked with me and reminded me to drink more.

We need friends and family to walk along with us when it comes to our mental health, too. They can support us and remind us to take care of ourselves. The journey can be amazing, even if you don’t make it to the top of the mountain.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” (Proverbs 3:5–6 NIV)

Are you enjoying your journey through life, or are you frustrated because you haven’t reached the “summit” yet? How can focusing on God help you try your best and be content with how far you’ve come?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Just Keep Swimming

I competed in a Masters swim meet last Saturday. I wrote about it in last week’s post (click here to read it). Masters swimming is for adults who enjoy swimming and want to stay active. At 57 years old, it can be scary to race alongside people half my age. Luckily, I don’t have to worry about beating them in a race. Ribbons are awarded based on how well you do against swimmers in your age bracket.

I’m happy to report that I didn’t struggle with my thoughts too much during the meet. I was pretty nervous on the way there and during the time for warming up, but once I finished my first race I felt more calm and I really enjoyed myself.

I got a first-place ribbon in each of the three events I swam. Before you get too impressed, I have to tell you that I was the only swimmer my age in two of the events. In the third event, I did swim faster than another woman my age.

Swimming gives me lots of opportunities to work on my thought life and improve my mental health. Exercise in general is good for our brains, but the mental gymnastics I have to do every week is also good for me. Do I drive to the pool today, or do I skip it and stay home? (I always feel better when I decide to go.) Shall I swim 500 yards today, or should I push through and do 1000? (I’m always glad when I go for the longer workout, and I’m hoping to get back to swimming more like 2000 yards every time I practice.) Can I make it to the wall and do a flip turn, or should I stop and rest instead? (I surprise myself when I flip and keep swimming. I can do it!)

If I compared myself to the twenty-year-old swimmers at Masters swim meets, I would give up in despair. I’ll never swim as fast as they do! But if I remind myself that exercise is good for me and I can set small goals for myself as I improve, then I’ll be able to enjoy swimming for years and years.

When it comes to our mental health, we must be careful not to compare ourselves with others. Each of our situations is different. We need to be aware of our own thoughts and feelings and make small goals as we improve our mental health. There will be ups and downs, but we’ll see improvement as we practice.

Just “keep swimming,” and you’ll enjoy life for years and years.

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 1:6 NIV)

Are you ever tempted to quit because you get tired or you compare yourself to others? How can focusing on God help you to “just keep swimming” and persevere through whatever situation you face?

© 2023 Robyn Mulder

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Honoring Our Intentions

I was going to call this week’s post “Let’s Focus on Following Through,” but then I did a search and realized that I used that for a title in April of 2022 when I was feeling nervous about my first Masters swim meet. (You can read that post if you click here.)

How funny that I thought about using that title today, because I’m psyching myself up for my second Masters swim meet tomorrow in Sioux Falls.

I’m not quite as nervous this time. I haven’t shed a single tear about it, but I did experience some normal signs of stress when I read through the list of events and checked out my competition on Thursday. Seeing everyone’s ages and times made my heart race and caused my stomach to do a few flip-flops.

I’m trying to think positively. I want to enjoy the day as I spend time with other adults who love to swim. But I have to admit that I did wish for a couple of minutes that I hadn’t signed up for the meet.

I entertained several of the negative thoughts that kept me waffling about whether to sign up until the very last day:

I could be in better shape.

I’m not sure if I can swim any faster than I did at the first meet.

Maybe I should just wait until next spring and make sure I train harder so I’m really ready.

Thankfully, I didn’t let myself ruminate on any of those thoughts for very long. Instead, I reminded myself of the reasons I finally signed up:

I love to swim.

I want to talk to other swimmers and find out how they stay motivated as they train.

I want to challenge myself and see if I’ve improved since April 2022.

I’m kind of proud of myself already, even if I don’t win a single race. I can see improvements in the way I catch my thoughts. That’s something I try to practice (and encourage others to do it, too) in my free private Facebook group: Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder.

Most of all, I want to show up for this swim meet because I want to honor my intentions. I haven’t always done that, but I’m trying to be more consistent in that area.

I don’t want to miss all of the exciting opportunities in this world just because I’m scared. I found a quote a while back by author Katherine Center:

You have to be brave with your life so that others can be brave with theirs.*

That’s the way I want to live my life. Brave. Hopeful. Honoring my intentions and commitments. That’s why I’m going to go swim my heart out tomorrow.

I’ll report back next week.

“Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” (James 1:22 NIV)

Do you honor your intentions? How can focusing on God help you follow through when you say you’re going to do something?

*(Check out her quote in this video: https://katherinecenter.com/defining-a-movement/)

© 2023 Robyn Mulder

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Being Glad You Did It

Gary and I just got back late Tuesday night from a vacation to Greece.

It was wonderful to get away from our normal routine and explore a different country. We spent a few days in Athens, and then we rented a car and visited lots of cities on the mainland.

In quite a few places, we had to hike up to the monastery or archeological site or fortress or castle. It seems like I reached a point in each hike where I questioned myself.

Can I really do this? Is it even worth it? Maybe I should just sit down and let Gary tell me about it when he comes back down.

I got tired, but I took a little break and pressed on.

And every single time, I was glad I did it.

The views from the top were magnificent and I felt a sense of accomplishment because I had kept plugging away and made it to the end of the hike.

At the beginning of our vacation, I had more energy and enthusiasm. It didn’t bother me too much to make the long climbs to see the sites.

When we got toward the end of our time in Greece, it got harder. We decided to pass up the chance to climb 999 steps to see a fortress in Napflio. And when we explored a fortress overlooking ancient Corinth, I started crying when I saw yet another building high on a hill. I was sure I couldn’t make it there (it was getting close to closing time) and I was just so tired.

But I walked as I cried, and I was surprised to find that it only took us fifteen minutes to get to the top of the building. The wind blew my hair all over the place as I cried grateful tears that I had made it to the top.

Once again, I was glad I did it.

As we travel this road of life, there are going to be ups and downs. We may wonder if we have the strength to make it when it feels like a long uphill climb.

Take a break if you have to, but keep going. You’ll feel that sense of accomplishment when you get through a hard season, knowing that you didn’t give up.

As I was hiking, I was always glad I had kept going and made it to the top of whatever we happened to be climbing on a given day. There were little joys that we experienced on the way up and down: poppies and other wildflowers blooming along the path, the ruins we passed on the way up, hearing various languages spoken by other travelers (I love foreign languages), stopping to take in the views as we got higher and higher on the trail, finally reaching the top, and enjoying the easier trip back down to our starting place.

I thought about how that compares to going through our lives. I sometimes get overwhelmed and want to quit, but I want to push past those feelings and live my entire life. The ups and downs…all of it. I know there are going to be hard times, but I also know there are going to be thousands of joyful moments along the way. When I get to the end of my life, I just know I’m going to be glad I did it.

Keep going, friends, you’ll be glad you did it, too.

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7 NIV)

Do you ever get tired of life’s ups and downs? How can focusing on God help you keep going so you can be “glad you did it” someday?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Being Kind

I don’t have time to write this week’s blog post.

But I’m going to write it anyway because I’m hoping it will help me feel better.

See, I’ve worked myself into a state of overwhelm once again.

I’m leaving this afternoon to go help with a youth retreat that lasts until Sunday evening. I have a few things to do in preparation for that, but I also have some things that must get done here at home. And then next weekend I’m going to a writers conference out in California and there are things I want to get done before I leave for that.

I feel a bit shaky, and I can get close to tears when I think about everything all at once. (Oh, let’s be honest, I have cried several times this week!) Even more frustrating is my tendency to spin in procrastination and stress when I feel this way, and then nothing gets done.

Cue the negative self-talk: You always do this! You’ve known about both of these events (and everything else you have to do) for months…why didn’t you work on them when you had more time? I’m never going to amount to anything if I can’t get things done.

So it’s Thursday morning as I write this, and I’m hoping that if I focus on being kind it might change my mindset and my ambition.

I’ve been thinking about the students who are coming to participate in the retreat this weekend. Many of them may be feeling like me. The ones who are attending have no idea what’s going to happen and there may be lots of anxiety there as they wonder what they’ll experience during the weekend. The ones who are helping behind the scenes may have tons of stuff they need to get done before they leave for the retreat tonight and they may be stressed out about how the weekend will go for them and their teams.

If one of them showed up tonight all shaky and teary, I’d want to pull them aside and reassure them. “Hey, it’s going to be okay! You did what you could before you got here. You can relax now and enjoy the weekend. Trust that God will be working in your life and in the lives of everyone involved. You’re going to see some great things happen! Take a deep breath, do the next thing, and don’t focus on everything all at once. One step at a time, you’ll make it through the weekend and look back on another amazing encounter with God.”

I’d be kind and loving toward that overwhelmed teenager. And it would make a difference.

So that’s what I’m going to do this morning.

I’m going to be kind to myself. I’m going to write down the things that can wait until next week (so this old brain doesn’t forget them) and work on them after the retreat.

I’m going to be compassionate to myself. I’m going to congratulate myself on all of the many things I did get done already this week, and then keep working on the things that are left.

I’m going to forgive myself for not doing all the things earlier. I did what I could when I could. All I can do is move forward from here. Beating myself up over and over won’t get anything done now.

I feel better already. Calmer. More peaceful. Ready to tackle the next thing on my list so I can check it off and not stress about it anymore.

If I can keep reminding myself to be kind, this is going to be a great weekend!

“Be kind and compassionate to one another [and yourself], forgiving each other [and yourself], just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32 NIV, brackets mine)

Are you kind to yourself when you get overwhelmed? How can focusing on God help you show yourself love and compassion, even in the midst of overwhelm?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on One Thing at a Time

Some people thrive on having lots of irons in the fire.

Apparently, I am not one of them.

In my younger years I could juggle tons of activities and responsibilities. I look back at all of the things I did when our children were little, and I can hardly recognize myself. How did I get it all done?

The kids are all grown and out of the house now, and I can’t seem to handle much of anything. The more things I add to my calendar, the more anxious I feel. I end up not doing much of anything because I get overwhelmed when I think of everything all at once.

I’ve been feeling that way for several weeks now. All of my tasks and future activities are spinning around in my brain. I get things done when the deadline gets close enough, but I live with way too much stress when I think about everything I “should” be doing and shut down mentally for much of the day.

I know I’ll feel better if I work ahead and make progress on long-term projects and goals.

I’m sure my stress levels will fall if I work hard for a set amount of time and then enjoy some time for relaxation (instead of dreading the work, putting it off, and worrying about it during moments when I’m supposed to be having fun).

Like Mary and Martha in the Bible, I need to focus on one thing at a time. Martha was worried and upset about all of the work she had to do, but Mary recognized that sitting at Jesus’ feet was the best thing to do in that moment.

That will help me as I move forward. I do take time for reading the Bible each day, but figuratively sitting at Jesus’ feet as I go through the rest of the day might help me focus on one thing at a time instead of dreading all of it at once.

Going through my days asking the Holy Spirit to show me what I need to work on might help me get some things done instead of having everything continue to swirl around in my brain and doing nothing.

It’s time to write some things down, schedule time to work on them in my planner, and focus on one thing at a time.

Getting overwhelmed by everything I want to/need to get done will just lead to more angst and procrastination.

Tackling projects one at a time will bring them to completion.

Especially if I keep God first as I go through each day.

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41–42 NIV)

Are you overwhelmed by everything you need to do? How can focusing on God help you work on one thing at a time and enjoy life more as you get things done?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Rejecting Too Much of a Good Thing

I love to swim.

I started swimming regularly about a year ago when we finally lived close to a pool again. I had fun competing in a Masters Swim Meet last April, and I have continued to swim about three times a week. That’s a good thing.

Last week I signed up for the “100 Mile Swim Challenge.” It wasn’t on my radar until I talked to the guy swimming in the next lane. He was excited about the challenge and was already making sure he swam an entire mile each time he was there (that’s 72 lengths of a 25-yard pool).

I signed up for the challenge. This was going to be great! I would get so much faster and stronger if I swam 100 miles by May 5.

But then I started to do some calculating. In all of my training since last January, I had only been able to swim 72 lengths (1800 yards) one time. Normally I swim about 1300 yards. Oh well, I reasoned, I’m sure I’ll get in better shape and I’ll be able to do more than that as I go along.

Then I remembered that we were tentatively planning a vacation in April. That would take at least ten possible days out. And our daughter is expecting a baby in February so that will take out a few more days. And you never know what South Dakota weather will do, so that might keep me from working out some more days.

I felt panicky all of a sudden. I don’t think I can do this! I wondered if I should quit the challenge right away, so I didn’t feel the pressure to do whatever it took to “win.” Or maybe I should really commit and make it happen. I fought that feeling for several days, going back and forth between despair and determination. I talked it over with Gary (who wisely pointed out the possibility of this becoming an obsession instead of just good exercise).

I think I’m finally to a place of acceptance. I’ll continue to swim a few times a week and log my miles, but I’m not figuring I’ll get the T-shirt unless some miracle happens.

Too much of a good thing can become a bad thing. Swimming was good for some shoulder pain I had over a year ago, but too much might irritate my shoulder again. Swimming three days a week is good for my physical and mental health, but five or six days a week (with the pressure to swim at least 1800 yards each time) might be too much for me, both physically and mentally. I could already see how it affected my mental health this week. I started to feel jittery and anxious whenever I thought about the challenge.

This translates to other areas of my life as well.

Candy and desserts are good, but they aren’t good for me if I eat too much of them.

Playing games on my phone can be fun, but it’s a waste of time if I play them too much.

Watching TV is entertaining, but I lose time for other things if I watch too much.

Almost any good thing can become bad for us if we do it too much.

Let’s try to find more balance in life. Let’s reject too much of a good thing and enjoy healthy amounts of the activities and objects in our lives. Now that’s a challenge we can all win!

“Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil [when you have too much of a good thing].” (Ephesians 5:15 NIV, plus my thought in the brackets)

Do you ever indulge in too much of a good thing? How can focusing on God help you find more balance in life? (He’s the only thing we can never get too much of!)