Author: Robyn Mulder

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Getting Back to the Things We Love

Since I keep getting messages about running out of storage space on my laptop, I’ve been spending a little time lately going through old files and trying to delete as many as I can. I started with my downloads folder. I found a bunch of Facebook live videos I had downloaded, so that was an easy way to free up some space as I moved them to an external hard drive.

As I scrolled through that folder, I noticed a bunch of graphics for these Focus Friday blog posts. I clicked and moved all of them into another folder I have for them. (Don’t ask me why I need that folder, I guess I just like having an extra copy in case the internet explodes or something.) Seeing those graphics sparked something in my mind. I realized just how long it had been since I had written a Focus Friday post. I remembered how much I enjoyed designing the graphics and sharing insights with anyone who wants to read my posts.

Then I started thinking about other things I’ve gotten away from. It’s been quite a few months since I uploaded an episode of my podcast: Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder. I have an interview recorded, I just have to spend a little time editing it and then I can share it.

I enjoy writing blog posts and producing the podcast. Why don’t I do those things? Sure, I’m busy with editing sometimes, but that doesn’t take up all my time. I could blame it on my mental health, but I’m feeling pretty good most days. It’s not really that. Could it be my age? I’m almost sixty, and I realize that I don’t have the energy and stamina that I had when I was younger.

Sometimes I spend too much time doing things that don’t really matter. Scrolling through funny videos on Facebook (a few minutes is fine, but I can get stuck for way too long), sorting an endless stack of papers that I just end up putting in a pile again (I throw a few away, but I can’t make decisions about the rest), and looking through old files on my computer (I find fun memories when I do that, but it can take too much time).

It’s time for me to get back to the things I love. I don’t think I can commit to weekly blog posts, but I can surely manage a couple of times a month. The podcast can help people with their negative thinking, so it’s time to create new content for that too.

I’m glad I came across those old Focus Friday graphics. It got me back to writing for you (and me)!

“Do everything in love.” (1 Corinthians 16:14 NIV)

Have you stopped doing some things that you used to love? Maybe it’s time to get back to them. How can focusing on God help you to set aside the activities that don’t matter as much and get back to the things that will make a difference—in your life or someone else’s?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Family

Christmas this year was bittersweet. After our Christmas Eve service at church, we drove down to Lincoln, Nebraska to spend the holiday with our family. For the last couple of years, all four of our kids have been there. Erin and Ayden bought a house and welcomed Halston, Clarke, and Foster into their family. Allison has her own apartment. Blake and Dylan share one. It has been so convenient to make the trip to Nebraska and visit all of them on the same trip.

Here’s a picture of all of us:

Here we all are on Christmas morning – 2024 (left to right: Gary, Allison, Robyn, Foster, Blake, Ayden, Halston, Dylan, Erin, Clarke)
I liked this candid Erin took while we were starting to line up for the photo.

It was fun to watch the kids open their presents, exchange a few gifts among the rest of us, and do our annual ornament exchange. The rest of the day was spent eating yummy foods and relaxing. After the kids were in bed, we watched a movie together.

On Thursday, Ayden was nice enough to stay home and watch the kids while the six of us went and did an escape room together (Blake’s gift to us). It was really fun!

We made it out with twenty minutes to spare!

I have to admit, I’ve shed a few tears over the last couple of days. I look at two-month-old Foster and enjoy his smiles and cute facial expressions, and then I tear up because I won’t get to hold him as much in the months ahead. Erin and her family are moving to Delaware very soon. There are boxes and lists everywhere around the house. I’m happy for them because they’re going to have an adventure and experience new things, but I’m sad for us because they won’t be as close.

Maybe they’ll end up back in the Midwest after some time on the East coast, but we just don’t know. Thank goodness for video calls. We can stay in touch and still see the grandkids often.

So, that’s where my heart has been recently. I’m thankful that we’ve had the chance to get together with all of the kids quite often in recent years. We love all of them so much!

With this big change looming, it’s been hard to focus on all of the good things that happened earlier in the year. But lots of good things did happen.

I published my book Staying Away from the Edge: Help and Hope for Living after a Mental Health Diagnosis in February. I finally got the ebook version finished and uploaded on December 14. Both are available at Amazon (you can get the paperback version at other booksellers, too). That was a big accomplishment, and I’m praying it can help other people who are dealing with mental health challenges. I have my own ups and downs with that, but I know what I have to do when I start struggling. I’ll never give up, and I want to encourage others with my book, my blog posts at robynmulder.com, and my free Facebook group and podcast (Catch Your Thoughts with Robyn Mulder).

Gary and I had the chance to visit the UK for our vacation this year. It was so much fun to explore England, Wales, and Scotland. Gary did a great job driving on the “wrong” side of the road. I think my favorite experience was visiting The Jane Austen Centre in Bath, but we visited so many other interesting places.

I attended the Vision Christian Writers Conference at Mount Hermon in California on Palm Sunday weekend. I connected with so many other writers and learned from wonderful speakers. I also got to go ziplining with a group of friends. So fun! I’m looking forward to going back again in 2025.

In June, I did a workshop about working with an editor at the Cedar Falls Christian Writers Conference. It went well, and they asked me to come back and do another workshop in 2025. Such a great conference! It’s limited to about 35 participants, so you really get a chance to connect with the speakers and other attendees.

In September I did a month of short live videos on my Facebook page. The theme was “Thirty Days of a Life Worth Living” because September is National Suicide Prevention Month. It was fun to talk about a different reason each day and encourage people to think about their own reasons for living.

I enjoyed it so much that I decided to do something similar in November. “Thirty Days of Thankfulness” was a chance to share some Scripture and a poem every day. You can check out both of those series in their playlists on my YouTube channel (I originally recorded them as Facebook live videos, but those get deleted after a month).

I hope you have had a wonderful 2024. As we end the year, take some time to think back on all of the good things that happened to you. Celebrate your accomplishments, mourn any losses, and give some thought to how you want 2025 to go. Setting a few small, realistic goals now might give you some focus and direction as you begin the new year.

I’d love to hear from you. Tell me about something you enjoyed in 2024, or share a goal you have for 2025.

Enjoy your family, and thank God for each of them (I know I do). I’ll wipe away quite a few more tears, I’m sure, before (and after) Erin and Ayden and the kids make their move in January. But I’ll also smile when I see their faces on frequent video calls, and I’ll give everyone a big hug whenever I get to see them in person.

“As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.” (Psalm 103:13 NIV)

Were you able to spend time with your family for Christmas? Whether they’re near or far, make the effort to stay in touch. How can focusing on God help you to love your family well?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Getting into the Spirit

It took me a while to get into the Christmas spirit this year. I just didn’t feel like digging out the artificial tree and some decorations. Our kids don’t come to our house over the holidays—we go down to Lincoln, Nebraska to visit all of them. It didn’t feel like it was even worth it.

I waffled back and forth for a couple of weeks. Should I or shouldn’t I? After I mentioned it at church, a friend encouraged me to put up our tree. And then she asked me about it every time I saw her. That was motivating. I didn’t want to disappoint my friend, and I also knew that we would enjoy the decorations once they were up.

So on Monday I hauled the boxes up from the basement and set the tree up. The lights went up on Tuesday, and by Wednesday I could send a picture of our tree to my friend. Mission accomplished!

I did enjoy hanging up each ornament. Many of them have sentimental value and I could remember the friends who gave them to us, or which ones our kids or another relative had made.

I hung a “Noel” decoration on the front door, and then I found a place for other decorations, like my three Santa mice.

The gold angel and miniature Christmas tree and manger scene went on the piano.

And I really enjoyed unwrapping each piece of the beautiful nativity scene my grandma gave me one year. It reminded me of the reason for this special season. It’s the birth of Jesus. How could I not want to celebrate that?

I’m glad I spent some time decorating, even though I felt like I had tons of other things to do. It’s part of the holidays, and I wouldn’t want to miss it.

Christmas is less than a week away. There’s still plenty to do, but my heart is full of the love that we feel at this time of year. I’m resting in the love God has for me. He loves me so much…he sent his Son to this world to live and die just for me. Because God loves me, I can love others, and I’ll try to do that as we celebrate Christmas very soon.

I’m glad my friend urged me to decorate. I’m finally getting into the spirit of Christmas!

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Of the greatness of his government and peace there will be no end. He will reign on David’s throne and over his kingdom, establishing and upholding it with justice and righteousness from that time on and forever. The zeal of the LORD Almighty will accomplish this.” (Isaiah 9:6–7 NIV)

Are you in the spirit of Christmas yet? What are you waiting for? Here’s your friendly reminder to do something “Christmasy” in the next few days. You’ll be glad you did. How can focusing on God help you get into the Christmas spirit?

P.S. – Come back next week if you want to see a family picture and a Christmas letter. I plan to do that while we’re down visiting the kids if I can get everyone to sit still for a few minutes for a photo. You can sign up to get an email reminder with the form on the side – or if that doesn’t work, send your email address to me at robyn @ robynmulder.com and I’ll add it manually.

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Thankfulness

It’s the first day of November, and I’m going to focus on thankfulness this month. Of course, being thankful every day of the year is important, but maybe if we practice extra hard this month it will be easier all of the other days.

As someone who deals with mental health challenges (depression and anxiety), it’s especially important for me to watch what I’m thinking. Too much negativity can really cause me to spiral down into depression.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe we can just think our way into better mental health, but positive thinking can be part of our plan for maintaining emotional wellness. Being thankful just might bring us more peace and joy. (But don’t forget about counseling, medications, and a great support group like Fresh Hope.)

I’m going to be doing a daily Facebook live video every day this month. After it gets recorded, I’ll add it to a “Thirty Days of Thankfulness” playlist on my YouTube channel. I invite you to check out one or the other and let me know in the comments what you think about thankfulness. Consider starting a list of things you’re thankful for this month and see how many things you can write down.

Showing thankfulness to others could also be helpful. Write a letter to someone you’re grateful for. Tell them how much they mean to you. It will make their day! Take a minute to really thank the waitstaff or store clerk after they’ve served you. They probably don’t receive enough thanks for the job they do.

In my Facebook live series this month, I plan to share a Scripture verse and a poem every day. I won’t post all of them here on my blog, but I’ll let you read the ones I shared today (you can check it out on Facebook or YouTube if you’re interested in the ones I’ll share the rest of the month).

Here’s my poem:

Lord, I don’t feel very thankful today

Life is busy and my anxious thoughts get in the way

Help me focus this month on the blessings I receive from you

If I’m going to find the strength to persevere, that’s really all that I can do

“So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness.” (Colossians 2:6–7 NIV)

Is it time for you to practice being thankful? What are three things you’re thankful for today? Write them down somewhere and keep adding to the list. How can focusing on God help you feel more thankful?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Asking for Help

(Note: This post was originally published on June 29, 2018 at robynmulder.blogspot.com. I’m working on moving those posts here to robynmulder.com.)

I don’t like asking for help.

I’ll struggle with something for far too long before I finally admit that I can’t do it myself.

It can be little things like pickle jars that won’t open or not being able to move a piece of furniture on my own.

It can also be bigger things, usually more emotional than physical.

That was part of the problem when I got so depressed about four years ago. I was struggling with different aspects of a teaching job and I wouldn’t ask for help. Even worse, people were offering help and I was just too sick to accept it.

I’ve been experiencing some of those same feelings lately. Oh, don’t worry, it won’t turn into depression this time. I’m healthy enough to notice how I’m thinking and feeling, and I’m going to do what I need to do to stay healthy emotionally.

Part of that is asking for help.

I need to talk to Gary about everything and not just hope these annoying anxious thoughts go away on their own.

I need to reach out to others when I’m not sure how to do something, so I don’t get stressed out about whatever it is.

Gardening, for example.

I’ve been feeling a bit of stress about “my” garden.

I put my in quotes because it was actually the previous pastor’s wife who planted some flowers in the backyard. Before we got here, some of the ladies weeded the area. Only one plant was blooming, but it looked very nice.

I went out there several times, but I didn’t really know what was growing. Then I was gone last week, and we’ve gotten lots of rain, and suddenly the spot looked like this:

 It doesn’t look so nice, does it?

The thing is, I decided I really do want to keep it up. I’ve walked around Platte and there are so many pretty flower gardens. I want to have one, too!

But I don’t know how. And I’ve been too proud to ask for help. 

I know that some of the things growing out there are weeds, like thistles and grass.

But I don’t know what some of the rest of it is. I didn’t want to pull out flowers, so I left it all alone.

This morning I took a walk, and on my way home I saw my neighbor Suzy working in her yard. She has lots of flowers, so I stopped to talk to her. She showed me how she was cutting some of her plants back so they would keep growing. 

I told her how I wanted to garden, but I didn’t know how. “I didn’t know how at first, either,” she said.

“How did you learn?”

She thought a moment and said that she had a couple of sisters-in-law that gardened and she learned from them.

I went home and spent a little time in my garden. I was dismayed by all of the weeds I saw, but I was also encouraged when I saw buds on some of the plants and realized I’ll see some flowers soon.

(I don’t know what this is, but I think it has buds.)
Look, a lily!
I think these are something, too, but I don’t know what.

It’s time to ask for help. I can keep showing up at Suzy’s and ask lots of questions. I know there are lots of ladies at church that like to garden and would be happy to help me.

It’s just getting past that initial embarrassment of admitting that I don’t know what I’m doing. I’ll have to be willing to laugh at myself if they come over and can’t believe I didn’t know that a certain plant was just a weed. 

I can’t compare my efforts with the beautiful yards some people have. I just need to learn with the small area that someone planted for me and see if I like gardening enough to expand in the years ahead.

I can ask when I get stuck in other areas of my life and I know someone else has the knowledge or talent to help me.

Most of all, I can ask God for help when I’m feeling anxious or uncertain. He’ll show me what to do so I can get back to feeling his peace.

God, do you know anything about gardening?

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5 NIV)

Do you find it difficult to ask for help? How can focusing on God help you to reach out to others when you’re stuck in some area and need help?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Persevering

I recently discovered a new podcast called “Project Perseverance.” The host, Molly Ovenden, started it because she had lots of partially read books on her shelves and she wanted to practice perseverance and read a book from beginning to end and then share what she learned from it. Over time, she has become a writing coach for people who want to persevere and get their writing projects out into the world.

It’s been inspiring for me to listen to the episodes, especially the ones where she’s coaching someone through a specific aspect of their writing.

I’ve been listening, but I’ve also been trying to put what I’m hearing into practice as I finish my own book. (It’s so close!) I can’t procrastinate and run just because I’m nervous about some tricky aspects of formatting my book. I want to keep at it and figure those things out so I can get this project done and out into the hands of readers who need it.

If you’re new around here, let me explain. I went through a major depressive episode in 2014. It sent me to the hospital because I lost all hope. Since then I’ve been proactive about maintaining my mental health. I’ve written a book about my experience and how we can all stay healthy emotionally. I’m planning to publish it on Amazon when I finally finish.

If you aren’t new around here, I’m sure you’re tired of hearing about this book. Well, I hope you’ll indulge me as I keep talking about it. It’s been frustrating (for you and me!) to hear about the possibility of a resource like this but never see it get done. Once it is published, I’m going to keep talking about it, praying that it gets to the people who need it. I hope you’ll talk about it, too, and share it with people in your life with a mental health diagnosis. (Check back for more details once the book gets launched.)

Whatever you’re trying to accomplish, I hope you’ll decide to keep persevering. If you keep moving forward (even if you take tiny steps from time to time), eventually you’ll see the result of your hard work.

If you run from the labor because of fear and uncertainty, that project will never reach completion.

Let’s keep persevering and see what wonderful things we can do with the time and talents God has given us.

“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9 NIV)

Are you persevering or are you giving up too soon? How can focusing on God help you keep going and accomplish the tasks ahead of you?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on What Really Matters

We’re almost two weeks into a new year and I’m realizing that my focus is all messed up. (Having a blog with mostly “Focus Friday” posts, you’d think I’d have this figured out by now, wouldn’t you?) Keep in mind that I’m not trying to shame myself (or you!) as I explore this topic. We just all need a reminder to get back on track once in a while.

My heart was stirred about this several times in the last couple of weeks, but I haven’t taken the time to write about it, or even think more deeply about it, until now.

The first time it happened was in church last Sunday. Gary preached a sermon from Matthew 6. “What Do You Treasure Most?” was the title. (You can watch it by clicking here.) As he spoke, I felt myself pondering the things I treasure. Of course I love the Lord, but lately my focus seems to be on too many earthly treasures.

Then in Sunday school we watched a video featuring J.D. Greear, talking about Romans 2. He said so many good things, but what bothered me was the idea that we can do all the “right” things, but if our hearts are far from God, it all means nothing. I wondered if my heart was really in the right place. From the outside, it probably looks like it, but I know the struggles I have with loving certain people or having the right attitude when I’m doing those “right” things.

And then I went through this week. On Sunday, I said I was going to be working on formatting my depression book, getting it ready to publish on Amazon KDP pretty soon. It’s now Friday evening, and I haven’t started yet. Why? Because I’m scared. Of what? Of the unknown.

I’ve never done something like this before, so it’s scary. I think I can figure it out, but taking that first step has felt impossible all week. So, I’ve found all sorts of ways to avoid it.

I went swimming most mornings. That was good for my physical and mental health, but I could have shortened my workouts a bit so I could get to the formatting.

I still had the afternoons free, right? Well, I managed to fill those, too. I did some good things, but I also did a fair amount of pointless stuff like watching YouTube videos and playing a blocks game on my phone (I’ve uninstalled it once again!).

By the time it got to the evenings, I felt like it was too late to start, plus I had youth group on Wednesday night.

So, what really matters? And what do I do when I realize I’m not focusing on what really matters?

What really matters is loving God and loving others. When I’m reminded that my focus is more on me (especially on my fears and insecurities), then I need to take steps to find the right balance once again.

Spending some time reading my Bible and praying each morning (and throughout the day) is a great place to start. Too often I skip that so I can exercise or do some other task around the house. Bible reading and prayer get my focus back on loving God.

Something else I can do is ask the Holy Spirit to help me balance my time between my own interests and things I can do to help others (and quite often those are the same thing). Writing blog posts, recording podcast episodes, and finishing my depression book are all things I enjoy doing (when I finally push past the fear and do them). I pray that they can also support and encourage others who might struggle with depression and anxiety. That gets my focus back on loving others.

Our hearts are fickle. Left to their own devices, they’ll try to convince us that we’ll never be happy unless we do whatever we want to do, whenever we want to do it. That’s a lie. True happiness and peace comes from focusing on what really matters. Every day.

“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” (Mark 12:30–31 NIV)

Do you ever struggle and pay more attention to worldly pursuits instead of what really matters? How can focusing on God help you love God and love others well?

P. S. – I really am planning to finish my depression book in the next couple of weeks. It tells a little of my story, but it also has ideas for how we can all stay healthy emotionally when we have a mental health diagnosis. Let me know if you’d like to read a pdf of the book when I get it done. I just ask that you leave a short review on Amazon after it releases. Just send me a message at robyn@robynmulder.com.

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Warnings

Last week I headed for home after my swim workout at South Dakota State University. After I turned onto highway 14, I was surprised to see flashing red and blue lights in my rearview mirror.

I checked the speedometer and I wasn’t going over 55, so I was thoroughly confused, but I pulled over and waited for the officer to come to my window.

“Ma’am, Stadium Road is only 25 miles per hour,” he stated. In a flash, I understood. This was campus police for SDSU and I had been pushing it a bit on the road leaving campus. I hadn’t done it intentionally, but I was speeding.

He asked for my license, registration, and proof of insurance. I handed them over and waited while he went back to his vehicle to see if I checked out. When he returned, he handed me my papers and told me he was just going to give me a verbal warning this time.

Whew! No ticket. I was so relieved. I thanked him and promised to watch my speed in the future.

And I have. I’ve even set my cruise for 25 mph when I go down that road because I don’t want to accidentally go faster and get stopped again. I know that next time I probably won’t be so lucky.

Warnings are good. They alert us to what we’ve done wrong and they give us a second chance before we suffer the painful consequences of our actions.

It would be irresponsible for me to speed down campus roads just because I didn’t get a ticket on one occasion. The limits are there for a reason and I need to obey them, even if it feels like I’m moving at a snail’s pace.

We all need to heed the warnings we receive from various sources in our lives. Maybe our boss warns us that we need to improve some aspect of our job performance so we don’t get fired. Maybe our spouse warns us that they’re getting tired of some aspect of our behavior and they want to see changes. Maybe our friend warns us that they’re tired of us showing up late all the time and they aren’t going to invite us anymore if we don’t improve.

If we don’t heed people’s warnings, we may have to suffer the consequences.

As Christians, we have a book that is full of warnings. The Bible tells us how we need to act if we’re going to show our love for God and others. If we ignore those warnings, we may have to suffer physical or emotional consequences. Thankfully, there is forgiveness and grace when we fail, but paying attention to the Bible’s warnings can help us enjoy happier lives as we interact well with the people in our lives and the God who loves us.

Let’s pay attention to the warnings we receive and make a conscious decision to slow down and do what’s right.

If we do, we won’t have to be afraid to look in the rearview mirror. We can move freely through life, confident that we’ll get where we’re going without any trouble.

“A wise warning to someone who will listen is as valuable as gold earrings or fine gold jewelry.” (Proverbs 25:12 New Century Version)

Have you ever gotten a warning for something? How did it make you feel? How can focusing on God help you heed warnings (from people or the Bible) and live well?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on How Far We’ve Come

It can be hard to be content with where we’re at in life when dealing with a mental health diagnosis. Anxiety and depression tend to make us feel despair when we can’t do something as well as we’d like.

I noticed that happening lately.

For exercise, I swim at SDSU several times a week. Besides wanting to move my body and stay in shape, I also want to get faster. I’ve competed in a couple of Masters swim meets, and my times have gone down, but they are far from the record holders in my age group. Those times are about twice as fast as I can swim. That’s discouraging.

So, should I quit swimming? Should I stop competing at the swim meets? No. I need to keep going and concentrate on how much I’ve improved since I started swimming regularly in January 2022. When I first started, I couldn’t swim more than about four lengths of the pool before I had to stop and rest. Now I can sometimes swim twenty lengths without stopping. I couldn’t swim the butterfly stroke at first, but now I’ve been adding it to my workouts and I can do it. It still needs work, but my core is stronger and I can feel my butterfly getting better.

Instead of focusing on how far I have to go, it’s more encouraging to look how far I’ve come. With more time and practice, I’ll get closer to my goals. I may never set a record in swimming, but I can enjoy the progress I make as I work hard and improve.

I can also see improvements in my confidence levels. At times I get frustrated because I get scared and hold back instead of stating my opinion or offering my advice. I’d like to exude confidence and charisma, but my uncertainty wins out way too often. I can focus on that, or I can look back and see how far I’ve come in this area.

I can remember going to a prayer group at my church when I was in high school. I never dared to pray out loud, but I attended faithfully. Later, after Gary and I got married, I went to a weekly women’s Bible study and I would berate myself when I got home because I hadn’t said a single word. I don’t know what those women thought of me, but I was soaking up knowledge from the study and from the things I heard other women share.

Over the years, I’ve gradually gained more confidence. Now I can lead Bible studies, give talks at Mother’s Day programs and other events, and I can talk to people much more easily than when I was in high school and college. I may never give a TED talk, but look how far I’ve come!

If you’re disappointed because you haven’t reached some target in life, try to slow down and focus on little improvements you’ve made over the years. You can make some plans for how you can possibly reach your goal, but show yourself lots of grace while you work hard and move forward. Don’t be dismayed at how far you have to go. Look how far you’ve come!

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” (Proverbs 16:9 NIV)

Do you look forward and feel despair about how far you have to go before you reach a certain goal? How can focusing on God help you move forward in faith, being grateful for how far you’ve come?

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Focus Friday: Let’s Focus on Bruises

While on vacation recently, Gary and I went hiking in the Great Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. After hoofing it over six miles to Le Conte Lodge, we headed back down the same trail.

The girls taking our picture thought it was so cute that Gary helped me over the rocks by Rainbow Falls.

At one point, there was a big rock with some moss and a bit of water on it. As I placed my foot, I had the fleeting thought that maybe I should step down further to the right instead of directly on the rock. Just like that, my boot slid out from under me and I landed—hard—on my left hip and shoulder. Gary saw me fall, so he hurried back to make sure I was okay. “I don’t think I broke anything,” I moaned as I pulled myself up and sat for a minute. We continued down the trail. I was sore, but I could still hike.

Amazingly, I didn’t fall down this set of steps!

I figured I would have a bruise after hitting that hard, but we were amazed to see just how big it was the next day. A 6-by-8-inch purple rectangle graced my left thigh. It was still shockingly huge when we got home to South Dakota. I decided to go do my swim workouts, even though people would be able to see it.

“Whoa! What happened to you?” several people commented. I was able to tell them about our long hike in the mountains. I was kind of embarrassed that I had fallen, but I also felt pretty proud of my bruise. As I swam a couple more times this week, I came to think of it as a badge of honor. I had taken a fall, but I got up and kept hiking, and I had the bruise to prove it.

Taken two days after the fall. It got even prettier after this!

When you live with a mental health diagnosis, you sometimes end up with emotional bruises and scars. Sure, people usually can’t see them, but we know they’re there. The tender spots in our lives can be a badge of honor for us—proof that we’ve lived through something difficult and we’re still here.

When we see someone else struggling emotionally, let’s be quick to tell them about our bruises and scars. It may inspire them to keep going as they continue their own journey to better mental health.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV)

Have you ever had a bruise or scar you were kind of proud of? How can focusing on God help you be willing to share your emotional bruises and scars with someone who needs encouragement or inspiration?