I need to start this week’s post with a huge warning:
Do not ever, ever, ever go off your prescribed medication without talking to your doctor and your family members first.
There, with that said…I’m going off my medication for depression.
I wasn’t sure if I should blog about this topic already or wait until later after I see what happens. I thought it might be helpful for you to hear about how I came to this decision and what I plan to do to make sure I stay healthy in the future.
It has been almost five years since I was hospitalized for depression. Aside from some trials and tweaking in those first months of getting better, I’ve been on a 10 mg daily dose of generic Lexapro ever since September of 2014. That medicine has been so helpful in getting me to a healthy emotional place again after that very frightening time of hopelessness.
I urge people to take the medicines they’re prescribed for depression and other mental illnesses. I know how much meds can help people stabilize their emotions. So, why would I consider going off my medication?
First of all, Lexapro has a couple of minor side effects for me. Nothing too bothersome, but I’m curious to see if those would go away after I’m off the medicine.
I’m on quite a low dose. Part of me wonders if I can wean off it and still be okay.
I’m a different person emotionally now than I was four or five years ago. I know myself better and I’ve been practicing better ways of thinking and acting. I’d like to try life without the medicine and see how it goes.
I talked with my doctor about the possibility and she thought it would be fine to give it a try. She told me how to go off the medicine safely.
I talked with my husband about it before I even brought it up with the doctor. He’s a bit unsure, afraid I won’t listen to him if he thinks it would be good for me to go back on it. We had a good conversation and I promised to be willing to go back on the medicine if I start getting depressed again. (But I also explained that I don’t want to go back on it the first time I cry over something silly. It may take a few weeks to completely get out of my system. We’ll keep talking about it in the months ahead.)
I have a good support system in place. Gary and I lead a Fresh Hope support group twice a month. It’s a place where I can share what’s going on emotionally with people who understand. They’ll give me good feedback if I start back on that downhill slide and need to go back on the medication. I have other friends, too, that feel comfortable talking with me about mental health. We can all support each other.
To be honest, I haven’t specifically prayed about this decision. I know, that’s probably where I should have started, but I haven’t felt any warnings from the Holy Spirit as I’ve thought about it recently. I’ll try to be a little more deliberate in my prayers about it in the weeks ahead.
I didn’t write this post to shake people up. (She’s going off her meds, maybe I should go off mine!) I wanted to write it to remind all of us that we have to live our own lives. I want to try life without medicine, but I fully understand and support people that need to take medication all their lives. (That may even be me…I guess we’ll find out in a month or two.) We need to learn and grow and figure out how to live the best lives we can, with God’s help and the support of our family and friends.
All of us need to talk to God about what’s going on with us physically, emotionally, and spiritually. That’s the most important thing. If we just rely on our own thoughts and feelings we’ll be bouncing all over the place, unable to move ahead in healthy ways. Staying in constant communication with God will help us be wise and healthy in every possible way.
With or without medication.
“Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones.” (Proverbs 3:7-8 NIV)
Do you wonder about going off meds sometimes (or some other big decision)? How can focusing on God help you to make decisions with his wisdom instead of your own (sometimes) flawed thinking?
*And once again…do NOT stop taking a medication without talking to your doctor, especially quitting cold turkey. That can be so dangerous for your mental and physical health! There are safer ways to wean off a medicine if you and your doctor think you may be ready for it.