When I was very depressed* back in September of 2014, I made lots of mistakes in how I was thinking and acting.
One of my biggest blunders was failing to speak up. Gary knew how much I was struggling, but I said very little at the high school where I was getting more and more stressed and upset about the teaching job I couldn’t seem to handle.
Looking back (and isn’t it always easier to see what we could have done in hindsight?), I might have been able to handle things better if I had spoken up and talked to the other teachers about my worries and frustrations.
I could have gotten more help with the technology problems with the online textbook, instead of being determined that I should be able to figure it out myself.
I could have asked how the other teachers handled disruptive students, instead of just heaping more shame on myself because I couldn’t keep everyone happy and attentive every day.
I could have been more open with people at church and asked them to pray for me as I adjusted, instead of keeping it all to myself and slipping more and more into that dark place.
I learned from the mistakes I made back then when I got so sick.
Now I’m much more willing to speak up when I’m going through something difficult. I talk to God about it, and I talk to other people who can help.
I was reminded of speaking up earlier this week at VBS. In the midst of a busy day of herding a group of 3rd and 4th graders through their various activities at Vacation Bible School, I heard one of the other volunteers admit that she had a meltdown one evening as she thought about a commitment she had made for later this summer. She had doubts about whether her faith was strong enough and if she was the right person for the job she had signed up for.
How brave of her to voice that doubt in a group of peers. We could encourage her and now we know how we can pray for her as that commitment approaches.
We all need to get more comfortable speaking up. Let’s not keep our troubled thoughts to ourselves. Let’s talk to God about them and practice speaking up to people in our lives who can pray for us and give us help and encouragement for whatever we’re going through.
God knows our thoughts, but people aren’t mind readers. We have to speak up.
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.” (1 John 5:14-15 NIV)
Do you feel comfortable speaking up, or do you keep your thoughts and feelings to yourself? How can focusing on God help you to be more willing to talk to God and others about your troubles?
*You can read more of my posts about depression over at robynmulder.blogspot.com (search for “depression” or “mental health” to find more posts)